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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Found this shocking thread about nannies! Puts me off...

47 replies

CottageChicken · 05/03/2009 14:40

I found this and it has totally put me off hiring a new nanny. We have a fabulous nanny who has been working for us the last few months but is sadly leaving and I know she would never do such a thing, simply because she's out all day every day with the kiddies so wouldn't have time!

NannyNightmare's thread has also put me off.

Anyone else feel the same?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

willowthewispa · 05/03/2009 14:52

So instead of hiring a nanny, would you go for a childminder (plenty of nightmare childminder stories on here) or a nursery (ditto)... You have obviously found a good nanny at the moment, so doesn't that tell you that there's good childcare available?

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/03/2009 14:53

i knew this would appear on here!!

what the nanny did was wrong and very unprofessional!!!

please dont be put off, there are some fabby nannies about (ME) and many others

there are always going to be threads about bad nannies, and bad cm's

very rarely does someone start a thread saying that their nanny/cm is fab

MollieO · 05/03/2009 14:59

You can password protect your email access. The thread you linked mostly castigates the OP so not sure why that would put you off nannies per se. NannyNightmare's story is horrible but honestly I have always done the turning up unannounced thing wherever my ds was at childcare (other than school!). I think that is perfectly normal to want to check up on how things are occasionally and particularly when children are too young to tell you themselves.

PixiNanny · 05/03/2009 15:02

Haha, I knew it too, the minute somebody told me about this site!

Honestly, 'bad' nannies are the same as 'bad' childcarers. They are few and far between! I don't think she is a bad person for doing what she did and not a bad nanny either, she was in a horrible situation and didn't know whether she was coming or going. What she did was wrong and she accepts that, but in her defense, she was desperate for answers, and we all do silly things when desperate!

Bubbaluv · 05/03/2009 15:03

She read her boss's emails. Phew - thought she might have microwaved the baby or something!
She was, of course, wrong to read the emails, but I've seen MUCH worse things done in offices and other work environments.
Wouldn't make me think twice about hiring a nanny, but would make me check that my email (or any other online info) was password protected.

Original poster

CottageChicken · 05/03/2009 15:06

We will be having my mum look after the kids willow so as to avoid any outside childcarers!

OP posts:

hrc · 05/03/2009 15:10

i have had a nanny for almost 2 years. shes tolerated me being ill for 6 weeks and having a second child and staying off on maternity leave. shes been on holiday with us twice and is a real asset to our family. i trust her and i think as with any employment or school or nursery situation you have to really do your homework and work on the relationship you builds. You tend to reap what you sow in life. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend a nanny if its something that you can afford and fits with your needs.

Bubbaluv · 05/03/2009 15:34

CottageChicken - I could be SURE my mother would read my emails given half a chance! She simply couldn't help herself!

AtheneNoctua · 05/03/2009 16:15

I have had bad nannies or rather they were a bad match for me and they have made my life Hell. I also have had good nannies who have mad my life so much easier. I couldn't live without a nanny and keep my job.

And to be fair, whilst the op on that thread is a wretched little thing, many of the nanny responses were quite reasonable.

If that op was my nanny, she'd most certainly have her walking papers by the time I finished reading the thread.

poppy34 · 05/03/2009 16:22

you get bad nannies (just like you get bad anything else). and when i read the thread I thought it showed how teh majority of other posters seem to be pointing out what she did was very wrong...

RachieB · 05/03/2009 17:31

What she did was of course wrong
but she must have felt a reason for doing so (feeling she was being kept in the dark )

its almost like they wanted to be "found out" as of course she would see nursery papers / notes round the house etc

wrong to read the emails, but can kinda see why she did it ( and definitely wrong to post about it on a public forum !)

etchasketch · 05/03/2009 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Simplyme · 05/03/2009 18:04

Just wanted to say in defense of us nannies that we don't all do that!!! I would not dream of going through my bosses personal letters/emails it is just wrong! I am live in and when I go away I do not expect them to come snooping in my room anymore than I would in theirs!

I think to read one post about one bad nanny then tar us all with the same brush is not right. There are so many great nannies around and to be 'put off' hiring one is rather silly imo.

PixiNanny · 05/03/2009 18:11

Yes but thats what people do isn't it? They hear one bad thing and then believe that everybody is the same. I contacted this one family when looking for a job who were very interested in me until they asked about why I wanted to learn Farsi. Minute they heard I was Middle Eastern they emailed me back saying that people like me shouldn't be working with kids

Doors4Paws · 05/03/2009 18:31

Great nannies are worth their weight in gold.Like any profession,there will always be bad ones.
This one has acted in the most appalling fashion and most other nannies are also astounded by her behaviour.

I have never password protected any of my pcs or hidden mail as I trusted both of my nannies implicitly.If I have the confidence to leave her in charge of my child then why should I worry about emails etc?
Trust is a two way thing.

I truly pity her poor employers,not only are they (it appears) having a tough time financially but they have a viper in their nest.

Anyone looking to hire a nanny in the Aylesbury area in the near future-please check references very carefully and avoid anyone with a name beginning with K (which could also be a C)

nannynick · 05/03/2009 18:37

CottageChicken - as you said yourself, you have had a fab nanny... so don't dwell on things you read elsewhere, go by your own experiences.
Good luck with having your mum as your childcarer... it may work, or may not. I feel you (and your DH) are very brave to consider that option... while it has it's good points, it no doubt has it's bad points as well - could be hard telling your mum want to do!

Why is that parents don't turn up at school unannounced? Should be able to really... don't you think. We all read the stories of bad nannies, bad childminders, bad nurseries... so it goes to say that there will also be bad schools.

SalopianGirl · 05/03/2009 18:48

Sorry to hijack thread but is anyone else having problems getting onto the NJ message boards?

thesockmonsterofdoom · 05/03/2009 18:58

I just have to say, that is one sparkly forum, my eyes hurt now from all the glitter, no opinion on nannies, as you were.

wotulookinat · 05/03/2009 19:00

Ok so the nanny shouldn't have been reading emails, but shouldn't the family have been discussing some of the things with the nanny?

wotulookinat · 05/03/2009 19:00

Ok so the nanny shouldn't have been reading emails, but shouldn't the family have been discussing some of the things with the nanny?

Twims · 05/03/2009 19:06

No - as she said she has been looking for a new job for the past year bet she hadn't told her employer.

Eilatan · 05/03/2009 19:19

OK I'm preparing for some hisses and boos and maybe they're justified but I can't help thinking....these nannies have a lot of time on their hands, all this reading other ppl's emails and putting glittering signature and it's only 3 months to Florida! I can't afford to go to blood Yarmouth, financially crippled with child care bills!

Sorry: hissy spitty. Now must go back to original reason for internetting, to try and find out what the hell Keats was on about so that I can blag - I mean teach it tomorrow!

JenniPenni · 05/03/2009 19:26

No... they are only obliged to tell her about their decision once they have decided what to do! Why make her worry for nothing when they might end up keeping her anyway, having reached the decision she's the best caregiver for thier kids.

It's okay for her to look for another job sans letting them know.. but they cannot look for other childcare sans letting her know?

And as for reading their emails - nothing justifies that behaviour.

Simplyme · 05/03/2009 19:26

Yes we have about as much time on the forums as you do Eilatan!!!

As for our holidays? As a professional nanny myself I work bloody hard all year with very long hours to cover the parents long hours plus travel and save like mad so I can have 1 great holiday. But then I can afford to have a good holiday since I am single without children. One day I will be poor with kids and mortgage etc but for now I'm living it up with all the glitter I can!!!

Twims · 05/03/2009 19:46

Eiltan - to put your rant on the signatures into perspective.

Alot of nannies have time in their day when they have lunch to pop online when they have done their duties / some don't have duties. Working a full time job looking after children is hard work and if we want to spend time in the evenings on a forum - like you are doing yourself - and it takes seconds to put together the glittery text, pictures and tickers.

Holiday countdowns could be trips with work - one nanny will tell you about the cruises she's been on with work - and another is of to OZ with her family, but why are you begrudging a nanny who does a 60 hour week upto her arms in nappies, keeping your house tidy and doing several piles of ironing a week - a holiday - does it really matter if they go to Florida, Yarmouth or the moon? And as Simplyme states we have plenty of time to loose our disposable income on children, childcare and mortgages.

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