Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Taking Au-Pairs on holiday

26 replies

Lilybeto · 15/01/2009 21:23

I work as an Au-pair/Mothers help. I work 25 hours a week, helping to look after 4 children. My AP family require me to come away with them from a friday to a sunday. They are going for a grandparent's birthday. I will be required to generally 'muck in' and help. I am also required to babysit on the saturday evening for the 4 children plus their 2 cousins. I will have 6 children aged between 4 months and 9 years.
How would you work out the pay for this weekend? Or would you pay your AP at all?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Julesnobrain · 15/01/2009 21:58

Hi I would pay the AP for this extra work. Not sure how much probably £80 to £100

Millarkie · 15/01/2009 22:06

I would certainly pay extra if my AP did this. Not sure how much though, but a babysitter alone would be £5 an hour round here, so plus the extra pair of hands and the 'giving up a weekend' I would probably think at least £80. (Although I value my AP's weekends too much to ask them to do this sort of thing.)

Millarkie · 15/01/2009 22:11

And if I did I would give her the choice of refusing and tell her how much I was paying up front, so she could make an informed choice.

FourArms · 15/01/2009 22:33

We never actually paid our AP for coming away with us. I always considered the 'mucking in' a bit of give and take for the expense of the extra person on the holiday and what they were going to get out of it. However, since you're going to be treated as a babysitter rather than part of the adult group for the evening, I would expect to pay babysitting rates for those hours at least. Depends if they're going to class that as one of their 'babysitting evenings' - do you generally do two a week? If the weekend is going to be fun for you - i.e. you'll be going places in the day etc, then I'd only ask for payment for the babysitting hours since there will be more children than just the ones from the immediate family. Otherwise I'd maybe ask for an extra amount, or a couple of weekdays off in lieu?

Millarkie · 15/01/2009 22:52

I wouldn't necessarily pay an AP more if we were to take her somewhere fun or interesting for a holiday (where she had time to explore a new place for herself) but a weekend trip to the grandparent's doesn't sound like a trip that could provide much fun for an AP. (particularly not Lilybeto as she is a more of a mother's help on AP money from what I can remember).

Original poster

Lilybeto · 15/01/2009 23:09

Sorry, should have made it a bit clearer. It's not at the grandparent's house but at a hotel for the granddad's birthday.

OP posts:

Weegle · 16/01/2009 10:16

I also wouldn't necessarily pay an AP more if they are coming on holiday with us - but then I would give them the option of coming at all... if they were coming because they are also getting something out of it then I consider the mucking in and occasional babysitting as a trade off. However, in this circumstance it sounds as if you are purely going along to help - is that correct?

If so I would expect to pay extra. And as someone else has said if it is purely work I would have said somewhere in the region of £80-100 for the weekend. I had my AP day time babysit my niece and nephew alongside DS whilst we were at a funeral and I paid her £30 - it was about 2 hours work but figured 3 two year olds in the middle of the day deserved a bit extra. Has your host family suggested an amount?

DadInsteadofMum · 16/01/2009 10:35

APs generally do come on holiday with us (their choice) and yes I pay more as they are with the kids all day (£95 for the week as this is the max before registering as an employer). But I always insist on working no more that 5 days in the week so would try and find ways to give the two days back if they work the weekend.

nailpolish · 16/01/2009 10:39

why would you need an aupair on holiday with you?

FourArms · 16/01/2009 10:46

In our case, we didn't need our ap to come on holiday, but as we treated her as part of the family, the offer was open, and she accepted.

However, for a different type of holiday, it might have been nice to have a familiar babysitter for the kids in the evenings, whilst the ap was free to enjoy a sunny holiday during the day. I wouldn't have expected to pay extra in this case. Possibly a bit extra if it was a long journey and the ap helped a lot during that.

DadInsteadofMum · 16/01/2009 12:05

You try being a single dad on holiday with three kids.

frannikin · 16/01/2009 12:40

Are they giving you time off in the week instead?

If they're not and it's overtime then I would log the hours worked and expect to be paid for it. If it's a case of "time in lieu" then I would also log the hours work and have the time as extra holiday/off during the week. For me it depends on what my OH is doing - if he's deployed then I'll have the cash, if it means missing out on time with him then I'll ask for time off instead and insist that I can choose it. I'm sure your employers will be reasonable because it IS a weekend you're giving up. Did they give you the opportunity to say no or did they just expect you to be free?

And the evening babysit I would definitely expect extra pay for as you have extra children! Even if the parents of the cousins pay you half rates or something.

AtheneNoctua · 16/01/2009 13:06

I would pay your previously agreed going rate for babysitting.

Probably wouldn't offer anying in return fot the mucking in component of the weekend figuring that is part of the live-in room and board part of our arrangement, just as I expect my live-in nanny to muck in and clean up after herself on the weekend whilst at home.

I would definitely ask you if you wanted to come and not tell you you had to come (unless it was discussed and agreed when you took the job).

Original poster

Lilybeto · 16/01/2009 14:06

Then haven't forced me to go but have asked very nicely and have made it clear that they would really appreciate me being there as if I was not they wouldn't be able to go, nor would their relations with children. This is because the saturday night is the birthday celebration (a posh meal) for the granddad so they need a babysitter. I am happy to go and help but it is my weekend of very valuable free time that I am giving up. I think I will be asked to be paid for the babysitting on the saturday night and leave it at that,
I have been on holiday with the family for a week in the summer. For this I wasn't paid. We went to France and stayed in a country house with a private swimming pool. I wouldn't go again unless I was paid because effectively I worked the whole time I was there as there was no chance for me to go anywhere else as we were very rural and I cannot drive.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lilybeto · 16/01/2009 14:07

They not then

OP posts:

Weegle · 16/01/2009 14:30

Have they not said you will be paid? If you're there purely for help that's pretty crap of them to expect you to make a decision without telling you that you will be paid and how much.

HarrietTheSpy · 16/01/2009 18:37

They should be paying you extra for looking after the additional children - and incidentially should be making it clear that the parents of the additional children can't approach you separately for babysitting, as if you were there on tap for them (w/o pay, that is, as if your original salary just covered it all). But I guess reading the OP again, maybe you won't be there long enough for this to be a risk.

AtheneNoctua · 17/01/2009 07:34

When you discuss this with your MB/DB, you should also define what hours the babysitting is for. Something like, "how about if I bsit for £6 per hour from 5:00 until midnight? And if it's alright I'll probably go to bed at 10:00 myself?"

PuppyMonkey · 17/01/2009 08:15

I reckon the parents of all the other kids you'll be looking after should chip in something extra for you too! I bet you find they do...

ssd · 17/01/2009 08:47

I think its crap they want you to come along with the idea that if you don't come the celebration won't be able to happen

also crap they haven't said how much they'll pay you

you'll end up lumbered with all the kids while they do the sightseeing etc.

they should be paying you 2 days extra and extra again for the Sat night babysitting, but they sound the sort who'll think giving you a weekend in a hotel with their kids as a great treat for you

I've been there too, as a nanny I went on holiday with 2 separate families, both holidays I had the children in my room with me for 5 days, the only peace I got was eating my evening meal myself

hope you are going somewhere nice and get a room to yourself!

kittywise · 17/01/2009 08:52

Yes they are taking advantage of you. Do you like this family on the whole?

NewAmazingBeginning · 17/01/2009 08:58

I think by saying if you don't go they can't go is blackmail and I suspect untrue.

halfwaythroughjan · 17/01/2009 11:43

If I were to ask my aupair to do this I would offer her 2 days off in the week and probably give her an extra £50 but would not expect to pay her £6 an hour to babysit but then again I would also give her the option to say no and would not expect her to be on duty the whole of the weekend, just an hour here and there. I don't know if you are live in or not but since my aupair babysits every saturday night I would be mighty pissed off if she asked me for an extra £6 an hour to babysit in the hotel. If the main reason they want you to come is for babysitting then they could arrange with the agency Sitters to come to the hotel to babysit which is what I usually do.

halfwaythroughjan · 17/01/2009 11:48

I should add that whilst i Wouldnt pay my aupair extra to babysit I Would make it clear to the other family that if the aupair is babysitting their children they should arrange with you what they will pay, because you are doing them a favour. I would say something in the region of £25 -£30 for the care of the extra children for the evening is reasonable.

Original poster

Lilybeto · 17/01/2009 13:36

I love the family I work for, they treat me as part of the family and the children call me their older sister. I have been their AP since May but have worked for them for 2 years as a live out Mothers help. I don't think they are taking advantage of me but I don't think myself or them know what the normal procedure (if there is one) for holidays is. I think the problem is that they think it would be a great treat for me to come with them for the weekend whereas I would rather spend time at home with my DP, as I only get to see him twice a week, or spend time catching up on my coursework.
They have not blackmailed me into going but I do know that my being there would make the weekend possible for them. They will not use a hotel babysitting facility as they would not trust this service.
When they asked me to come with them, they explained the situation and I said I would be happy to help as I realise that this is an important family celebration for them. My only worry is that because I wasn't paid for my trip with them to France they won't pay me for this.
I wanted to know if I was being out of order by asking for money from them. From reading the replies here I know now that I should be paid and it is the norm to get paid for this type of thing.
Also, babysitting is not part of my normal work hours and if I babysit I get paid separately at the rate of £5.50ph.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2