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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

can you tell me if this is unreasonable, if not how to broach it?

46 replies

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 03/12/2008 14:50

Hi all,

some of helped me enormously finding a new childminder after my last awful one had to be given notice.

I now have a lovely minder, she is fab in every way apart from one which is proving a bit difficult.

I work long hours and travel all over the place. I could be in glasgow tomorrow and liverpool the next day, but also i work a fair amount of time at home.
My hours change so i pay childminder monthly in advance and pay for average hours, if i go over i pay the difference at the end of the month, if under then she carries over the credit to the next month.

A friend of hers lives a few hundred yards away from me.
I've just had a text from her, basically saying, "i can see you're at home, i take it you're picking up your dd from school as it will save me a journey".

This has happened a couple of times now. I'm a bit miffed as if i'm at home i am in my office working. Yes i take small breaks throughout the day to mumsnet have a coffee or some lunch but i am still at work.
I feel that she thinks i am sat here with my feet up.
If i did pick dd up from school i would have to pick her up and then dump her in front of the tv whilst i disappear into my office.

So, am i being unreasonable to be taken aback that my childminder thinks i should be picking dd up from school if i am working at home and if not, how do i broach this wothout upsetting her.

Apologies for the novel!

OP posts:

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NumberFour · 03/12/2008 18:24

I think her text was 100% out of order and like Jennipenni I would never suggest that to a parent.

I know that I am being paid to provide a service and to look after the child and if that parent decides to do whatever they want to for that time, as long as they are contactable in an emergency, it really is none of my business what they do.

Original poster

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 03/12/2008 19:25

I am feeling a bit grrr now.

Picked dd up at 6pm. Childminder was quite off with me. Had a fairly long rant about how the school pick up was a nightmare as the kids were out very late and she ended up phoning the school.
I felt that i was expected to apologise for not getting dd from school.
(i didn't apologise)
Her son goes to the same school and had a club after school tonight, so if i had got dd she would have only had to make one trip rather than two. We both live less than 5 min drive from the school by the way.

I am a bit bothered that this is going to rear it's ugly head again. I think i'm going to have to speak to her about it properly now.

OP posts:

dmo · 03/12/2008 22:09

get it sorted
some of my parents dont work and i have their children to give them time
for your cm to asume you will pick your dd up is out of order she should just get on with her job and pick your dd up unless you phone to tell her otherwise

annh · 03/12/2008 22:26

How did your childminder even know you were home? You said her friend lives close to you. Does cm have her friend peering out through the net curtains to see when you come home and report back to her?! Yes, sadly I think you will have to tackle it directly with her - perhaps you could list for her the things that you do when you are home such as making conference calls which you can't do from the car? No idea if that's true or not but maybe you have to be very specific with her in order for her to realise that you are not sitting there drinking tea!

mawbroon · 03/12/2008 22:44

Even if you were sitting there drinking tea, it's none of the CMs business as long as you are sticking to the arranged hours.

Do you ever pick up your dd earlier than arranged if you are home early? Perhaps she was trying to plan ahead? It is sometimes just as inconvenient when a parent picks up early as it is when they show up late.

I can't think of any reasonable other reason why she might have asked though.

mawbroon · 03/12/2008 22:46

Sorry, lost the plot there. Have you ever picked her up from school and not given the childminder much notice?

That's what I mean.

HarrietTheSpy · 04/12/2008 09:57

I think mawbroon has a point - I could see how some confusion could maybe have arisen if you had collected early before...But that's no excuse for her behaviour. And as for her curtain twitchers keeping track of you !

I would be tempted not to go into any details of what you're up to when you're working from home - you don't owe her any explanation. Sod her moods. If she asks about early pick ups - "I'm working" is all she needs to know.

schneebly · 04/12/2008 10:04

I am a part time uni student and only really need my CM for one day per week but I pay and use her for 2 because it means that I can get my study done while the kids are out so that when they are home I can spend time with them properly - this is the best use of my student loan money for me. I would be very shocked if my CM did this. She is being a bit cheeky and you just need to explain to her that when you are working you are working be it at home or elsewhere!

childminder90210 · 04/12/2008 10:24

I think this is very unprofessional of the cm, how dare her friend report to her your movements that is so out of order. She must have agreed to the arangement in the beginning so I dont see where the problem is. I am working on what should be a day off today i got absolutely soaked this morning so did my buggy raincover etc all has to be dried and everything but thats my job and I agreed to the extra hours I wouldnt phone the parent to say oh its raining today i cant do the extra day sorry, I am really disgusted by this persons attitude, you have every right to do exactly as you choose in time you are paying her for!! Sorry for ranting but this type of thing really annoys me, and how dare she complain to you about the kids getting out late its not your problem. I would defo say something before this gets out of hand x

Original poster

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 04/12/2008 10:38

Hi,

my hours change from week to week because i look after staff and clients nationally. So i can travel to liverpool tomorrow and be back at 8pm , Monday i could travel to london in the morning but then work at home in the afternoon.

I pay the average up front and then top up if i go over those hours or have a credit carried over of under.
I do sometimes pick up early but i ring/text first to check it's ok. If not then i just pick up at normal time.

She called this morning and has said she can't have dd today as her son has been vomiting,but then rang back and said it's my choice and do i still want to send dd as obviously i will still have to pay her .... um no thank you.

I am going to have a proper chat with her tomorrow night when i go round to give her my hours. I think i need to make her understand what i actually do and also make it clear that if her son is ill then she is in effect unavailable so i will not be paying. (i mean if he's vomiting or has an illness that needs a doctors appointment, not minor coughs/colds etc)

OP posts:

wotulookinat · 04/12/2008 10:38

God I would be very annoyed. My childminder knows that when I drop my son off with her at 8am I go home and back to bed.

Original poster

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 04/12/2008 10:40

...

OP posts:

MGMidget · 04/12/2008 11:01

Maybe her son was getting ill yesterday so she was hoping to get you to pick up early so she didn't have to tell you about it.

Bramshott · 04/12/2008 11:41

No, if her child is vomiting then you don't have to pay her surely - coughs and colds is one thing, but vomiting or diorrhea is usually very clear. What does your contract say? If my CM is closed because her son is ill, then we don't pay. Of course if her son has a heavy cold, and she lets me know, then it's my choice whether to send DD or not and I'd pay whatever.

looneytune · 04/12/2008 11:53

OMG, I'm even more annoyed with her now than I was before!!!! There's been a bug going round and ALL children have colds and are very snotty but once the bug had cleared, they were allowed back. My own 5 month old is still struggling with the cold and has a temp but they are all here as usual. My policy states that I let them know if minor illness and they choose, if they don't come then they pay half. However, I caught the bug from a mindee and was sick early hours of yesterday morning. I still worked yesterday because most of them had had it and they WANTED to come. They were reminded of the full refund as I should really have closed but it was their choice. Of course they run the risk of getting it (the ones who've not had it) and they know that they can't come if they get ill and they WILL have to pay but that's what they chose.

If her child is VOMITING, the Health Authoirty recommend closing for 48 hours. If a parent wants to send them their risk but if they choose not to or she actually closes then there shouldn't be any charge (unless for some reason she's one of the greedy few who put in their contract that they get paid for sickness!)

What's in your contract about sickness?

Illhavethisinsize12 · 04/12/2008 13:39

what a cheek. how dare she. you are paying her to work the hours, who cares what you do during this time. where do they come from, giving the rest of us a bad name.

Original poster

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 04/12/2008 16:20

Hi,

my contract states that if her or her kids are ill enough to need to see a doctor or have been vomiting that she will close. It doesn't state anything about whether or not i pay her in those circs.
Also states that if my dd has vomited or had to see a doctor she is not allowed to be there for 48 hrs but i must still pay.

I have to be fair here. She is fabulous in every other way. Meals cooked from scratch, does shedloads with the kids. Very child orientated and wonderful with the hormonal surges that are rearing their ugly head

I think this is a case of having to sit down and clarify a few things.
I don;t think she thought her lad was coming down with something yesterday, it was more that she didn;t want to have to pick up dd and then pick up her son a little later after his club.

OP posts:

breaghsmum · 04/12/2008 18:39

idtcs i feel for you, you obviously appreciate what your cm does for your chiild and it sounds like she is quite flexible with regards your work pattren, however i do think that texting you based on her friends observations was out of line. she may in all innocence have thought you might be picking your child up from school an so was planning ahead, but unless she actually had bumped into you herself then she should have presumed it was business as usual. i think perhaps she got a bit carried away with the idea of not having to do that particular run. about her son being ill, if it states in her contract that she closes if her or her child is vomitting then i would see that as being unavailable to work and therefore would not feel i had to pay for that day. i would ask you cm how she knew you were at home and explain that unless you inform her otherwise then she should stick to the agreed plan. hopefuly she gets the picture and you have no more trouble as she does sound like a good cm in every other aspect.

ActiveC · 04/12/2008 21:55

Childminders are quick to complain that of not being viewed as professionals. THis is an example of why we are seen as third rate.
Disgusting behaviour.

Yes I'm a cm and agree with Jenni penni

RachieB · 05/12/2008 23:20

agree with all the others ,how rude / cheeky of her ! you are paying her so it doesnt matter what you are doing,working or sitting on ya backside

its not YOUR fault her son had an after school club, which meant her having to do pick ups twice with 2 little ones aswell

def think you need to have it out have a chat with her

RachieB · 05/12/2008 23:21

oops me strikeys didnt work !

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