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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Christmas ettiquete

31 replies

puppie · 01/12/2008 09:17

Hi Ladies,

I found a thread on here about bonuses for Nannies at Christmas, is this the same for childminders. DS has been at childminder for 2 months now and I intended to get her a Christmas present until I read on here that nannies get bonuses. Of course I would be mortified If I am meant to give a bonus and I dont so any advise would be welcome

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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tissy · 01/12/2008 09:21

No. Give a nice present, not a bonus. She's not an employee, but someone whose services you use.

NumberFour · 01/12/2008 09:23

I am a childminder and I would certainly NOT expect a bonus! I would be a little insulted, tbh, though insulted is too harsh a word. Also a bonus would usually be paid to someone you employ and no doubt you have been told ad nauseaum that you do not employ a CM!

I don't expect a present - some of my families do give and others don't. Up to you really.

I don't think any differently of those that don't.

SKYTVADDICT · 01/12/2008 09:25

DS1 been with his since January and I only realised last night that I needed to get her a present! Hadn't even thought of a bonus! Will be going down the line of wine I think. DS1 was on her list to start last year and she bought him a present and his two older sisters a selection box. She told my mum the other day that she was out shopping for presents and she had already bought DS2s! who doesn't start with her until next April! Think I am also going to have to get her two kids something.

Original poster

puppie · 01/12/2008 09:32

Phew! Now glad I came on here as I wouldnt have wanted her to be insulted! She is in to her holistic therapies so I may get her something along those lines. She bought DS a birthday present and is getting him a Christmas pressie which I find quite touching so will definitely get her something. All her other mindees have been with her for a long time so I dont want to be the only parent that 'gets it wrong'

OP posts:

NumberFour · 01/12/2008 09:39

Puppie, the fact that you are thinking about her shows that you certainly would not "get it wrong"! I really appreciate any kind of thank you I get, be it words or lovely presents! Don't get me wrong, I love getting presents, as to the best of us! but i would hate for my parents to feel obligated to buy me anything.

HSMM · 01/12/2008 13:16

Some parents buy for my, some for my little girl and some don't buy anything. No pressure whatever you decide. It never occurred to me that they might want to give me a bonus! I might drop some hints! I could do with a good holiday!

mogs0 · 01/12/2008 16:15

Some parents have paid me for the week between Christmas and NY as a bonus, though I don't expect it and try to refuse but they are very pushy!!!

mindfull · 01/12/2008 19:54

you are obviously considerate to have made the OP!

my CM has looked after DS1 and then DS2 one day a week for the last 3 years. she has ALWAYS given them a small birthday present, and christmas present, and makes me something with them for easter and mother's day!!! is that normal????!!! it is so lovely.

so, each christmas we give her a bottle of champagne and theatre tokens as she is mad on going to plays. does that seem appropriate/sufficient, do you think?!

magicofchristmas · 01/12/2008 20:42

mindful... as a nanny I too do the cards/gifts/cake for birthdays etc for the parents and even grandparents too

I dont drink so the champers wouldn't work for me, but, i'd love the theatre tokens. Very thoughtful especially as you know she loves theatre. That's an excelent idea.

magicofchristmas · 01/12/2008 20:44

But, of course, no one should expect anything at all.

FeelingOld · 01/12/2008 22:44

I am a childminder and although i would never expect a gift it is very special and very appreciated to get a small gift, last year the parents of the 3 siblings i look after gave me a lovely basket of fruit and nuts and we loved it.

JenniPenni · 02/12/2008 10:07

'I am a childminder and although i would never expect a gift it is very special and very appreciated to get a small gift.'

Ditto! I give my mindees gifts for Christmas, it's great fun opening them with them and their folks I also give a Christmas card from my family to theirs.

I certainly do not expect anything from the parents, but some do give a lil something, some don't. Their is no right or wrong way.

Bramshott · 02/12/2008 10:17

Last year I got my CM £30 M & S vouchers. It seemed to go down well, so I am tempted to do the same this year, or is that too boring?!

JenniPenni · 02/12/2008 10:21

Bramshott, may I mind your kids please??

TigerFeet · 02/12/2008 10:29

Can I crash this thread to ask what sort of gifts are usually appreciated? DD started with our lovely CM in September and both dd and I would like to give her a present, but I'm struggling with what to buy. Can't stretch to £30 M&S Vouchers, much as I'd like to.

Any ideas? Wine? Choccy? Smellies?

Bramshott · 02/12/2008 11:04

With pleasure JenniPenni - I'll send them over shall I?!

My lovely CM is worth her weight in gold though!

NumberFour · 02/12/2008 11:21

tigerfeet, please don't feel pressured into doing something that you cannot afford to! i doubt your CM expects anything but a bottle of bubbles or smelly stuff never goes amiss in my book! Don't overdo it.... she will really appreciate the sentiment anyway!

FeelingOld · 02/12/2008 11:38

I agree that its the sentiment and not the amount of money, i have had lovely bunches of flowers wrapped in christmas ribbon, boxes of chocs, candles, pen, mug etc and they have all been very appreciated.

TigerFeet · 02/12/2008 14:21

Oh I don't feel pressured at all - I can easily afford £10 or thereabouts and tbh she does deserve more

I might get dd to pick out some toiletries, thanks

thenewme · 02/12/2008 14:22

I don't think anyone should feel they are meant to do anything. A present should be a nice surprise, not an expected thing.

After only 2 months I wouldn't spend very much tbh.

thenewme · 02/12/2008 14:24

I also think it is different. CM work for themselves, nannies are employed by the parents.

mindfull · 02/12/2008 14:31

for my CM i just got some theatre tokens in WH Smith, and Tesco was doing a half price deal on an OK champagne so i got that too.

has anyone ever given their postman a gift?! i gave mine a fiver in his xmas card last year (he is great, and signs for things if i am out, hides parcels etc) but he never mentioned it so i am not sure if he thought it was too measly to thank me for, or if he thought it unnecessary and i shouldn't do it again?!?!

DJGemini · 04/12/2008 22:25

I think it depends, I would cherish any childminder, who looked after my dearest children. my children would like to maybe make something for her. A box of chocs or bunch of flowers is a lovely thought. I know my CM would not expect anything, but deserves something as she is great!

OrangeKnickers · 05/12/2008 11:31

another crash - we have a great cm since June. DH thinks we should give her £100 (we live in London). Reading this thread it sounds a bit OTT. Maybe some JL vouchers would be better, for say £50? Any other london cms out there?

mindfull · 05/12/2008 11:45

my DH thought that my suggested £50 was too much, so we went for £30 theatre tokens and champagne.

guess it depends on circumstances and earnings etc. our CM has just one of my 2 DSs just one day a week, so i guess i would probably want to give a bit more if she were caring for them for more days a week.

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