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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Au Pair Experts-Over here please......

65 replies

whooosh · 05/10/2008 22:11

Been looking for an Au Pair since nanny left in the Summer (actually loving have the house to ourselves so been a bit slack about it).Out of the blue,managed to interview a Romanian girl,already in the country,on Saturday.
Have offered her the job and she has accepted-ariving Tue PM.
A couple of questions.....

Other than a bunch of flowers,a bit of local inof etc-waht should we have ready for her?

Secondly,we are off on holiday for a week from 14th Ocotber-big risk leaving new AP in the house so soon after joining us I know-but should we pay her a full weeks salary? SHe is starting pre-our holiday at her request as she couldn't afford her rent where she is now.

Should we leave her at all?

She seems really sweet and appears to have had a pretty rough time since being in the UK but we do only have one side of the story.....can you tell I am nervous????

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Original poster

whooosh · 07/10/2008 09:48

Am feeling terribly twitchy-think it is the thought of having someone in "my space" again.HAs been lovely in a way without anyone since July.

OP posts:

ingles2 · 07/10/2008 09:58

Whoosh...just got to pitch in here... IME Romanian driving is a problem. We had a very lovely girl come to us from another family (via an agency btw). She complained they were working her too hard and not paying enough. It was never clarified but thought we'd give her a go as we were desperate. We made it very clear we needed a good driver as we are rural. When I picked her up, the family seemed really nice but their parting words were "don't let her drive"
Turns out her driving was so bad they were paying for her to have intensive driving lessons. She'd had loads...
Her driving was appalling! Our instructor took her out, came back as white as a sheet and said never in a million years would I let her drive your kids. She had to go, which was a terrible shame as she was really a lovely girl. Romanian driving tests are nothing like UK ones, their driving is at a completely different level. Please be very very sure before you let her do any driving.

Original poster

whooosh · 07/10/2008 10:05

Oh Ingles2 thank you so much for this advice.I have a real problem with it as I had a very serious accident 2yrs ago which led me to give up "corporate life".I am terrible in a car now-especially as a passenger.
Will arrange an assessment asap and then get DP to take her out when she returns from South Africa.

Lady I spoke to yesterday was in a similar situation as you-rural and she said that AP couldn't get to grips with single track roads and reversing.Also said she shot forward up a pavement once and got a flat tyre immediately.

God-the more I write this down,the more I am beginnign to panic.....

OP posts:

ingles2 · 07/10/2008 10:13

Poor you Whooosh....
Am going to stick my neck out and say that I think this is going to be a problem. Sorry.
How old is she? How long has she been driving for? the other thing is she may have had a licence for a couple of years, but only driven a little bit.
The best drivers I've had have been German.
Good luck W x

Issy · 07/10/2008 10:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

Original poster

whooosh · 07/10/2008 10:28

I think you are right!

So.......do I ring and stop her coming and explain about her reference or do I let her come and be assessed?

I am so worried about this aspect but also don't want to let her down......Oh I really don't knwo what to do!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

whooosh · 07/10/2008 10:31

....and to think I was only worried when I checked her reference,about how she was with children and if she was trustworthy.
When I asked the driving question I really didn't expect it to be a problem

OP posts:

ingles2 · 07/10/2008 10:36

Why not phone her and ask about the driving. How she feels she is, what she thinks her problems are.
How much driving do you need her to do exactly?
You could always pay for a driving instructor where she is, to take her out for an hour and report back?

ingles2 · 07/10/2008 10:37

Actually is she in Kent? Whereabouts? I am too

Original poster

whooosh · 07/10/2008 10:48

No she is in Greenford now-due to arrive here at 1pm.

My problem is that following my accident I have a real problem even talking about safety in cars etc and get into a right state so I can't call her.

I have emailed her explaining the situation saying we would still like her to come but she will only be able to stay if a driving instructor feels she is safe and competent.I have left the decision with her.

She wouldn't need to do that much driving-some on country lanes but maybe once a week on the A1(M) for a couple of junctions.
It really doesn't matter how often it is though does it?

An accidnet could happen yards from the door....

OP posts:

Issy · 07/10/2008 10:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

mummypoppins · 07/10/2008 10:56

the best drivers I had were Germans as well and when we go back to an au pair I will stick with them or swedish as I understand they have very strict driving tests too.

I had a hungarian girl once who assured me that she was a competrent driver and had been driving every day for 7 years.

The local BSM instructor took her out for 2 hours and couldnt even say that she was in control of the car. He said absolutley not was she safe to drive in the UK. Even DH who sat with her and is very laid back about most things was as white as a sheet when he went out with her and said she would have a major smash within days.She went home after 2 weeks.

Dont do it Whoosh unless you are absolutely happy with her driving. Its not worth it.

mummypoppins · 07/10/2008 11:00

well issy it just shows you cant generalise........I think on the whole though the old european countries tend to be safer than the newer ones as it were!

Good luck whoosh and keep us posted

Issy · 07/10/2008 11:04

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

ingles2 · 07/10/2008 11:21

I agree with MP. Good luck Whooosh

mummypoppins · 07/10/2008 11:43

ooooooohhhhhhhhhh Issy you lucky thing. I had one form Germnay like that. I should have locked her in the cellar and never let her go home!

ha ha....................now have a nanny who is 4 x the cost and not half as good.

Yes good luck whoosh. We are all here to support x

Kathyis6incheshigh · 07/10/2008 11:52

Issy, are yours slightly older than the average? I have a Hungarian AP aged 27 who has just started and I want to try to help her make friends.
We're in the north and I seem to remember you are in London but I wonder if your APs have any advice for mine about how to meet other Hungarians in the UK?

Issy · 07/10/2008 12:16

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

Kathyis6incheshigh · 07/10/2008 12:18

Thanks Issy - what a good idea, I hadn't thought about sport but she is quite sporty and I seem to remember volleyball mentioned on her cv I think.

Badpups · 07/10/2008 16:45

Hi Whooosh

I wasn't going to post my experience of my Romanian AP's driving but as others have thought I'd add my view.
This was actually one of the reasons that we let ours go as we paid for her to have some driving lessons and then DH took her out. His feeling was that she wasn't safe to drive the car on her own even after loads of practice let alone with the children in it. To cut a long story short we never let her drive when she was with us but she didn't think that she had any problems and thought that we were too fussy! I gave her a copy of the Highway Code but she refused to read it saying that the roads in the UK (just north of M25) were the same as in Romania .

We've now got a German AP who's brilliant.

Original poster

whooosh · 07/10/2008 17:02

Thank you all for your honesty-it has helped immensely (well it has scared the crap out of me tbh).
It appears to be a very ROmanian problem-according to the dozen or so driving instructors I spoke to today

I emailed her and told her that we really needed her to have an assessment WRT her safety and competence on the road and I thought it best if she came for a day (without her stuff),did the assessment and then if she was "certified safe" then I would take her to pick up her luggage.

She seemed ot understand the situation and was happy for this.Only problem is I can't get her assessed until Monday morning and we go on holiday on Tues.
HAd sh ebeen here a week I may have felt comfoprtable leaving her but not after less than a day.
SHe has now emailed ot say she doesn't think she can afford to stay in her rented place another two weeks..........

Badpups-where abouts in Herts are you?
And does your wonderful German AuPair have a wondeful Greman friend who wants ot be an AuPair in Herts as well???

OP posts:

Simply · 07/10/2008 19:06

whooosh Sorry, I've sped read the most recent posts on the thread and I've forgotten I'm sure the most part of it though I've read it from the beginning. Fwiw, I think that her not being able to afford her rental place is her problem, not yours. If she doesn't pass the assesment then she's going to have to afford it or find another family sharpish. She doesn't sound an ideal candidate for you and if you make lots of allowances at the beginning, you may find that it just carries on that way. I would not be happy leaving someone I hardly knew living in my house whist I was away on holiday. I've been to Romania and even the professional minibus and coach drivers that drove us (on a no-expense spared type trip) had a very poor standard of driving. In fact, dh recently suggested going back on holiday with the kids as the hotel was fab and very reasonably priced but it was about 2 hours drive from the airport and I feel I've used up a couple of my 9 lives (ok, so I'm not a cat but you know what I mean!) already and I wouldn't risk having the kids with us. Good luck with whatever you decide.

ingles2 · 07/10/2008 19:41

I agree with Simply, Whoosh...(unfortunately) it's her problem she can't afford the rent and I wouldn't be leaving a girl I'd just met in the house alone whilst I went on holiday. Probably best to leave this one I think. Sorry (again)

Badpups · 07/10/2008 19:58

Hi Whooosh

I'm in Broxbourne - whereabouts are you?

If you're interested, my current AP came through Childcare International (am I allowed to name agencies on here?) who seem to specialise in German APs. They sent us lots of excellent cvs and were thorough. They've placed quite a few APs in Herts according to my AP.

(PS agree with Simply and Ingles2)

Original poster

whooosh · 07/10/2008 20:00

Thank you!!!!
God (not that I ever di)I nevre want to go to Romania!

She still seems very confident in her driving ability and willing ot do an assessment (I admire her balls!)

Am now trying to see if there is someone nearer to her who will assess her-I guess I am a bit of a softie but she ticks all the other boxes (as far as we know) so if she can pass the driving then......?

(not overly hopeful tbh)

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