Hiring a nanny with a drink driving offence

[littlelongstockings]

I interviewed a lovely nanny yesterday who I liked overall, however she has a DUI on her criminal record from 9 years ago, she is in her 40s so not young.
the position will not include driving my child around as she doesn’t currently have a car and isn’t open to using one of our cars, she will transport my child by bus or train.
would you employ a nanny with a background offence of DUI?

If you think you can get past it and there are enough positives then I would ask her outright. I’m not justifying it in any way but people make mistakes and can get over them. If she has then it’s a shame that this will echo through her employability for the rest of her life and there’s nothing she can do about it.
if your gut says no for other reasons then you need to trust that.

…erm maybe the fact that she neglected to tell you?! The lack of her honesty is actually as worrying. I can’t believe you would even consider leaving your children in her care.

Maybe they shouldn't work in unsupervised, unregulated, high responsibility, high trust roles like this?

Would be an absolute no from me. She was I'm her 30s, old enough to know better.

No way. I feel so sorry to say that but there are many people who have not been so irresponsible/ill that they drove under the influence so why would I entrust my precious child to someone who has?

Yes people change but for this role you need someone so principled and reliable that they would never have dui in the first place.

Think of your child, not her, or any wider liberal principles you might hold.

No. Shows a lack of risk assessment and judgement which would worry me in general. So even if she wasn’t driving my kid I’d be concerned that she couldn’t make the right decisions to keep them safe.

i wouldn’t even hire them to look after my dog never mind a child.

I wouldn’t recruit her for that reason, and I also wouldn’t for the fact she won’t drive your car so your kids would have to get public transport when with the nanny. So no from me.

Yes I would.

Why on earth didn't you ask her about it? If you were and still are considering employing her, the whole point is that you ask candidates about such things in order to make a more informed decision.

I'd also be concerned about her possible relationship with alcohol. Plus, her non-disclosure in the interview and avoidance of driving your cars could point to someone still in denial who hasn't addressed a problem, though not necessarily.

However, if she's much better than other candidates in many ways, why not invite her back for a second interview? Anyone worth employing would completely get your concerns, would be as open as they could be about what happened, however embarrassing, and totally up for you being able to contact recent employers and see her current driving licence. You can still decide 'no' if your concerns remain.

But she DID disclose - she sent her DBS ahead of interview and knew it was on there. It's down to the putative employer to then ask about it and drill down.

I wouldn't employ her, due to her lack of transparency over it.

If she had disclosed, and you were happy with the circumstances around it, then I wouldn't let it be a barrier to employment.

I say this as a teacher who went drinking with 10+ colleagues straight after school for end of term drinks and dinner. Only 1 person chose non alcoholic drinks. The rest of us all had a couple of alcoholic drinks, then drove ourselves home. The deputy head was convicted of drink driving on her way home. She'd had 2 white wine spritzers over 4 hours. With food.

The reality was some of us would have been over the limit too, due to our body shapes and being female, but we weren't caught like she was. Had we thought any one of us was over the limit, we'd have stopped ourselves driving. In a group of professionals that large, including the headteacher, none of us thought anyone was over the limit.

The UK limit is so dependent on the person drinking, and the level of alcohol in the drink. If the wine in the spritzer was 8% she'd likely have been under the limit. Who asks what % a wine is when ordering?

She didn't lose her job, and went on to get her first headship last year, 2 years after her conviction. So it isn't a barrier to teaching. Seemingly, the appointing panel listened to her story and acknowledged we all make mistakes.

The only safe way to be under the limit is driving with no alcohol at all.

why did you not ask her about it in the interview?
I have a friend who lost her license due to drink driving a few years ago - she was just over the limit. She was devastated. She hasn’t drunk alcohol since!

Don't ask her about it, you have the hard data already. There may be an explanation but it's also potentially giving someone with a drink problem a chance to pull the wool over your eyes. And addicts can be highly manipulative.

Won't go into details but I know someone who made stupid driving decisions as a teenager putting multiple lives at risk and got away with it.

I also know someone a similar age at the time who was more responsible, but who was convicted of drink driving for being borderline the next day. The policeman apologised after the court case due to circumstances and said it should not have gone to court. (I think there should have been a blood test as breathalyser was borderline but this didn't happen and the person didn't challenge it either.)

Of these two people it's the first who is now a safe, responsible driver (and adult in general) doesn't drink, no accidents or driving convictions for 25 years. The latter who is far more reckless, unreliable, has has a couple of accidents, speeding convictions etc.

So you can't even really rely on the circumstances of the conviction as an indicator of the person's character now.

This.

Edit: actually having read further, I think the fact she didn't raise it in interview coupled with the early hours text would be enough to put me off completely.

@littlelongstockings Absolutely not! DUI in your mid-thirties, having no work exp in your country (what she says but I bet she just has lousy references) and messaging her future employer at 2:40 am!! Noone ever messages me at 2:40 am- I'm in my forties like her and you just don't.

I’d give her a call & speak to her about it

Years ago drink driving was rather commonplace but I’m talking 50 plus years ago. She is of an age where she would have been brought knowing how dangerous and unacceptable this is. The fact that she did this in her 30’s is even worse. I would suspect an alcohol problem. I would talk to her about it before completely saying no but tbh I’d probably not employ her. If she’d been 17 at the time of the offence with an unblemished record since then I’d be more accommodating.

In what country does she have nanny/teaching experience? Does she have any references from these jobs?

Regardless of her drink driving conviction, there are a couple of other red flags:

• no nanny experience in this country
• messaging you at 02:40 shows a complete lack of judgment as to what is acceptable behaviour.

On balance I wouldn't hire her as your nanny.

Then no. If she had been transparent about it, I might have.

She didnt get caught the 1 time she did it. So I suspect shes banned and still trying to hide it

No. She doesn't want to drive your car because either she lost her licence and hasn't got it back or she still has episodes of drinking heavily and isn't sure she would be clear in the mornings.

No way! Why would you trust the care of your children to someone with proven terrible judgement. I am usually in favour of redemption but in this case it’s not worth the risk.

OP. Please take this thread down. The woman in question may be on mumsnet and will know this is about her. Imagine how she would feel reading the responses on here. I would be devasted to be eviscerated like this for a mistake I made 9 years ago.

You've got enough answers to make an informed decision.

Everyone else, please stop the pile on. She made a mistake, 9 years ago.

Absolutely not.

This is a red flag.

It shows that she is a selfish person with poor judgement and limited morals.

If it happened as an 18 year old and she fronted it up ar interview, that may be different.

This is red flag.

You would be a fool to ignore it and putting your children at risk.

This. She didn’t hide it. She knew it was on it /flag up

you need to ask her an see what she says

why you didnt ask her in the interview. That’s what interviews are for

It was some time ago, she doesn't want to drive. Everybody makes mistakes, I would give her a chance.