Hiring a nanny with a drink driving offence

[littlelongstockings]

I interviewed a lovely nanny yesterday who I liked overall, however she has a DUI on her criminal record from 9 years ago, she is in her 40s so not young.
the position will not include driving my child around as she doesn’t currently have a car and isn’t open to using one of our cars, she will transport my child by bus or train.
would you employ a nanny with a background offence of DUI?

I wouldn’t take the risk. Someone who drinks and drives is not someone who makes good decisions. Also indicates she had or could still have a drink problem. I wouldn’t take the risk.

I have friends and family members who have lost their licence due to drink driving and it was it is they're already part of my life so I'm not going to cut someone off for it but i certainly wouldn't invite someone new into my home to care for my child who clearly has terrible judgement and lacks morals

Nah. It's not about driving as others say but her relationship with booze.
If she had volunteered the info on the DUI and explained she'd since got sober and is now teetotal, then I'd consider it.

But she said nothing which makes me think she may still have a drinking issue. And with no driving to do she might actually be more inclined to sneak drinks while working if she is an alcoholic.

And? She was in her thirties. And what if she was a teacher at the time?

Alarm bells that she’s not currently driving.

I would bet she’s lost her license op

I'd ask for the circumstances (and I'd want evidence of them). If she had an alcohol problem, went to rehab and is now teetotal then I might be ok with it - as much as any other recovering alcoholic. Likewise if it was a morning after job or there were extremely mitigating factors. Bear in mine they'll always find an excuse though.

Good god no in this scenarios

Definitely ask for circumstances and go with your gut feeling

No. I have too much baggage from being around people who are irresponsible with alcohol. I won’t knowingly bring one into my life, no matter how long ago they had issues.

My trauma is just too great to trust someone with a known problem with alcohol with my child.

I would have raised it at interview. Not driving your child around may not matter, depending where you live, but if she currently doesn't have a licence that may be relevant. She probably didn't mention it at interview because she knew you could see the information and waited for you to ask for details. I wouldn't employ someone with alcohol problems to look after my DC.

So if, hypothetically, she'd experienced a massive trauma - perhaps leaving an abusive relationship, death of a child etc, and turned to drink and made some very bad decisions, before pulling herself together and getting therapy, that would be a no to you?

No, this is the person that you will have looking after your tiny precious child when you are not there and one of the few things you know about them is they have a drink driving conviction. Have some standards.

So if, hypothetically, she'd experienced a massive trauma - perhaps leaving an abusive relationship, death of a child etc, and turned to drink and made some very bad decisions, before pulling herself together and getting therapy, that would be a no to you?

Even more so. People with trauma who react in this way should not be working in professional childcare. Other jobs are available.

I also wouldn't want someone with severe trauma to be my child's nanny. My children are my world I'm absolutely going to be judgemental and picky.

I might have considered it if she had raised it at her interview and explained. The fact that she had a ridiculous story about being too nervous to drive OP’s cars instead, leads me to question what other lies/mistruths she would tell me about my child’s care. It’s not so much the historic offence, but the lack of transparency… the lying. So no, I wouldn’t hire her.

I would consider it, especially if she won't be driving your child anyway. It's probably a huge regret and she wouldn't ever do it again (plus sounds like she might have lost her license anyway).

She might not have a problem with alcohol, I work with someone who also got a driving ban for sleeping in their car after a night out. Had a driving ban for 2 years as he had the keys in his hand. Wasn't a good decision but doesn't mean he has a drinking problem by any means, he thought he was doing the right thing.

Yes I would employ her based on if she is suitable for the job.

Her past indiscretions should not be the deciding factor.

Everyone makes mistakes in life, after 9 years she has probably learnt her lesson.

Id like the people who are better at dealing with trauma to be looking after my children.

This is your most precious person in the world and you are going to give your trust to someone with a dd offence?

You should have brought this up in the interview and found out about the circumstances so you can make an informed decision.

No fucking way. I owe her nothing.

I owe my child everything

Yes, possibly depending upon the circumstances and her responses to questions, but then I've worked with prisoners and believe people can be rehabilitated.

Absolutely not.

It’s not hard to not drink drive. It takes a particular type of selfishness and irresponsibleness to do that. Why would you trust someone like that around your child?

I agree with this.

Plus the fact she didn’t mention it even though it would appear on her checks.
If she had been upfront, full of remorse then maybe I would consider it. Maybe.

Possibly, I’d be hesitant because she didn’t raise it in the interview.

I did really like her as a person but something makes me lack trust in her, it probably is the DUI that is making me question her but also the fact that she has only ever worked abroad and not here where we live.