Am I asking too much from nursery??

[SarahScone]

Fourteen month old has just started nursery. He has done two weeks of three days a week. Crucially, he seems to be settling in, sleeping and eating fine and slowly getting more comfortable with his surroundings.
The nursery use an app to communicate with parents. It seems to be sporadically updated. He should have breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea, sleep and nappies logged. I’d say about a third of this gets logged everyday. And then there is the odd photo and update of what my child has been doing.
This is more about managing my expectations than his care because I trust that when is there, he is looked after properly.
However, (and bearing in mind he is my PFB after an arduous IVF journey), this info would help me with things like what he has for dinner at home (and how much), that i know he’s drinking enough (wet nappies) and when to put him to bed etc etc.
I pick him up at 4pm when most other parents are picking up so not much chance of a chat.

What do you think? Should it be updated more reliably or am I being fussy?

They probably don’t have time

My nursery is the same - some days a couple of photos, some days nothing. They logged dirty nappies but now DD is potty trained they don’t log toilet use. They only log if she doesn’t eat any lunch.
To be honest, I’ve got used to it now, I love seeing the photos but if the staff are flat out and haven’t got time to send any through, I know she’s having an amazingly busy day!

I would imagine that realistically you would prefer the staff to be looking after the children rather than leaving them to complete all the missing sections for everyone.

The nursery should have fairly set nap times and a preplanned menu so I would ask for this information from the reception or administrator and stick with your normal bedtime routine regardless.

Its tricky because the staff realistically can only do the updates if they aren't actively involved with the children. For example they are all napping at the same time.

It would drive me nuts to have constant updates. I couldn’t care less how many wet nappies etc. Trust that everything is fine unless told otherwise.
Do they have a weekly menu? I’m not sure what you mean about what he has for dinner - just give him what you normally would and he either eats it or not. You want the staff to be engaged with the kids, not constantly updating each child’s food intake and nappy contents!

Thanks for all the replies. This is kind of what I expected and fully agree that all children being cared for properly comes far beyond me knowing whether they pooped or not.
Now just need to make peace with not knowing my baby’s move. How will I ever cope when he’s 15 🤦🏻‍♀️

I mean this kindly from a fellow IVF mum - all this stuff matters a heck of a lot to you at this moment in time. But in 3/4/5/6 months it will feel so minor. You’ll end up only really checking the app to see the pictures and on the odd occasion you have something planned and would like a bit more info. Just let him eat whatever you’d feed him, he will eat or not until he is full. It’s sometimes good to not be able to focus on all the minute details I think!

They absolutely do need to be doing this though, what a child had to eat/drink at the very least.
If you end up at a&e because of an allergic reaction and can't tell them what your child has consumed that day that would be horrendous!

What a nightmare for staff to do on the go!

I always think these apps are excessive and create so much work for staff. I’ve had two in nursery and we get handover at pickup where they say what was for lunch and how many plates eaten etc. plus journal updates of activities they did, and that’s plenty for me. Never heard about nappies or bowel movements unless something out of the ordinary.

But if they are offering this as a service then they should really be consistent about it or just not bother at all.

You’re definitely asking too much. You’ll get used to not knowing every tiny detail. It’s much better for staff to be actually engaging with the children than religiously updating the app. I get one update a week from my child’s nursery!!

It takes a lot of time to login and update for every single child. When you have a room full of toddlers, it can be very difficult to stop supervising or interacting with them.

I think it’s because they say when you view the nursery, we’ll do all the updates in the app
and you choose a nursery and think how lovely it’ll be to still be part of your baby’s day to day life in this way when it’s difficult transition to nursery.
and then they don’t do the app.

But if they never promised it in the first place you wouldn’t be disappointed.

What’s the point in doing it half arsed as well, it’s no use to know they had a wet nappy at midday but then nothing the rest of the day. Does that mean no other wet nappies or they just didn’t update the app? taking some time out of caring for the children to give half the info seems like a waste of time, I’d rather they were giving attention to the kids or having a bit of downtime themselves if they’re not able to do it properly.

I’m glad our nursery doesn’t have an app, when the kids are under about 2/2.5 they give us a piece of paper with a sentence or two about what they’ve done, when nappies were changed and what food they had and how much they’d eaten. So I would expect to know these things, but I’m glad it’s not done on an app, as I’d end up checking too much!

Our nursery doesn’t use an app for basic needs because it takes more time for them to switch between each child’s profile updating it constantly than it does to have an old fashioned piece of paper for each child with a template and they just tick the appropriate box / write down a time as necessary. We’re handed it at the end of the day with a quick run through of how he’s been generally. We get what he’s eaten and how much of it, when he slept, the times and contents of nappy changes and anything else notable.

The app they do use is just for special moments of development / play / interaction with others and we get maybe one every 2 weeks on average I’d say.

What an over reaction.

At the point they're in A&E, you'd have contacted nursery to ask. You don't know every ingredient in everything they eat from nursery anyway.

Updating the app is the last priority for the staff after children's safety, care, and education/happiness is taken care of.

Do they not have a menu published somewhere? Or could you ask the manager to email you a copy?

Wet nappies wouldn’t really tell you a lot - they change them routinely not by how wet they actually are. My oldest sons nursery used to tell us loads, my youngest goes to a childminder and I’m lucky if I get told if he napped at all. He’s very happy there though and the staff are amazing - I’d much rather just trust he’s having a good time than know they’re updating an app all day.

Aw be proud of him (and you) for settling into the adjustment!

Aw be proud of him (and you) for settling into the adjustment!

@SarahSconeI find the whole communicating by apps so bizarre. I do not understand why any parent would want their nursery to use one! Parents will then expect a certain amount of updates which isn't fair on anyone. Our nursery makes a point not to do this: staff should not be on devices and should not feel pressure to upload multiple pictures and log each time their kid did something like share a toy

If you want to find out information about their day, they will always log this anyway. Nappy changes, nap times, how much they ate will be logged. They will have an accident book. A good team will tell you great things at the end of the day such as "this morning little jimmy was so good at tidying up." They shouldn't have to write this into the app! You should be able to ask questions at pick up such as "how long did they sleep, any dirty nappies today" etc. These apps put a lot of pressure on parents and staff and I don't think they add any value.

My dds nursery have an app where they are supposed to note nappies, toilet breaks, food eaten, naps taken and photos of activities done but they only update it at the end of the day when the child has been collected. They also dont note her toilet habbits through the day and rarely i get a photo i mostly just get a list of what she ate and how much.

Well you could mention it. My last nursery they were super super strict about the app being updated and a photo of each child every day. We would get in to trouble if we didn't do it.
Then again our staff ratios were quite high and if they weren't it would have been tricky to update the app.
They should make time to talk to you, especially if they haven't updated the app though. You need to get some sort of feedback.

I didnt want constant updates i wanted them to do their job which they did if I trust them with my child i trust them to spend time on the children not updates, if we needed to communicate we did

No idea why ivf has anything to do with it

I worked in childcare and it is difficult to get time to log everything in during the day.We got half an hour break and during kids nap, we had jobs like cleaning ,washing up after lunch, writing up things like incident/accident reports etc. Other times we were short staffed and looking after the children would be top priority over paperwork.
Ask for details at handover.Staff will be happy to give you an update.