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Impact of nursery on under 3s

80 replies

trufflesandolives · 09/05/2025 07:58

My DS who is nearly 1 is due to start 2 days of nursery a week from next week and I've only just come across Erica Komisar's work claiming that nursery is psychologically damaging for under 3s who should remain with their primary caregiver. Obviously I've been aware of arguments in both camps but hearing it come from a child attachment specialist hit a bit harder than hearing it come from other mums or social media. Since then I've looked into other options (again), considering a nanny (they are significantly more expensive) and looking for coworking spaces with childcare (since I work remotely) but there don't seem to be any in my area. My question is does anyone know of any other significant research around children and nursery in the early years? I'd like to find out if research in both camps is equally extensive and significant or if what Komisar quotes is the scientific consensus. I don't bother talking about it with friends or family because all I hear is unqualified opinions telling me that my DS will benefit from the socialising which isn't, as far as I know, supported by evidence.

OP posts:
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ThatTipsyOpalBiscuit · 07/06/2025 18:19

Also one person for how many children....

LumpyMashedPotato · 07/06/2025 18:50

ThatTipsyOpalBiscuit · 07/06/2025 18:18

You've got one person and when she goes for a poo no one is watching the children.

Also do you think they have the temperament of a saint and not going to get over stimulated, not have a good night's sleep etc or had an argument with hubby. Spending all day with children and rarely with another adult. Also no breaks.

Doesn't sound good imo

They likely do the exact same thing as i do when I am looking after my 3 and 1 yr old or my friend does with her 3, 2 and 3m old... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Our CMs have a CM group so are with other adults / CMs each day pretty much.

They probably do get annoyed...just like nursery workers and parents.... so?

Look you seem mega defensive, I'm not here slagging off nurseries...
I just prefer and therefore chose CMs, you clearly prefer nursery.
That's fine too... people can prefer different things.

Everyone is making the best choices they can from the options available to them.
I literally stated i think it has no impact either way (as per emily oster)

MathNotMathing · 07/06/2025 19:09

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

LameBorzoi · 08/06/2025 08:19

LGAT · 07/06/2025 11:33

What is the parallel field?

You were sat there and they were faster to get to a crying baby then you would be at home....I'd be shocked if they weren't on it in the presence of a parent! Take the parents away and you never know how long it takes them.

Your first post talked about undermining grandparent care often not being better because in your friends case the grandparent let them watch TV all day...the issue here is not the theory or fact a good grandparent is better but that particular grandparent wasn't looking after the child properly. The concept is not necessarily wrong but the application is wrong. The concept of nursery for <3 is wrong (except in some situations for some parents with difficulties).

You've also slipped in the word 'occasional'...'occasional childcare with trusted adults'...this thread is not about occasional childcare...it's about regular childcare...I would suggest more people think of this type of childcare we are talking being at least 6 hours a day. The original post quotes 2 days.

The secure attachment you speak of is developing particularly to the age 3. Nursery will damage it.

Bizarre if all the money/choice you would still send you kids to nursery regardless of it's size and staff retention. I would outsource all the other chores in life and be present for my child before 3. We are talking about beings with no understanding of the world...their bubble is the parent.

No, nursery (at least limited) will not damage secure attachment. There is zero decent evidence of this.

It was a poor use of the word "occasional". I should have said "part time". Two days isn't much.

It feels as if there is very little time at a nursery when there isn't a parent coming or going. So yes, they are being observed by parents all the time.

There is nothing that is inherently wrong with the idea of leaving a child with a trusted adult that is well known to them.

I gave one example of grandparent care that was less than ideal. However, the reality is that many many grandparents cannot give regular care, for a variety of reasons. Certainly it was not an option for me, at all.

I would do it all again that way because it enabled me to be a much more present parent. My own mother was very burnt out from being at home until her kids were at school, and I did not want that for my own children.

Funnyduck60 · 08/06/2025 17:50

Depends on the child. My GS went from 9 months and loves it. Experimentscwith more foods and plays more independently. Personally until a child can talk I would always go for a formal setting. Make sure this isn't about how YOU feel.

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