Impact of nursery on under 3s

[trufflesandolives]

My DS who is nearly 1 is due to start 2 days of nursery a week from next week and I've only just come across Erica Komisar's work claiming that nursery is psychologically damaging for under 3s who should remain with their primary caregiver. Obviously I've been aware of arguments in both camps but hearing it come from a child attachment specialist hit a bit harder than hearing it come from other mums or social media. Since then I've looked into other options (again), considering a nanny (they are significantly more expensive) and looking for coworking spaces with childcare (since I work remotely) but there don't seem to be any in my area. My question is does anyone know of any other significant research around children and nursery in the early years? I'd like to find out if research in both camps is equally extensive and significant or if what Komisar quotes is the scientific consensus. I don't bother talking about it with friends or family because all I hear is unqualified opinions telling me that my DS will benefit from the socialising which isn't, as far as I know, supported by evidence.

Emily Oster is good on this, presenting proper balance. Essentially it's neutral under 3, good for over that.

Generally in nurseries, but especially in the baby room the children have a key worker. For part timers they will choose someone in on their days. There is a core of fixed staff.
My DS had his key worker changed as he bonded better with a different staff member.
As always it's dependent on the nursery. If you're happy with the nursery and how they interact it can be like a big extended family with focus on the kids rather than housework.
Your little one will still have you every morning, when waking in the night and in the evening.

I'd have thought a childminder would be better as it's the same key worker all the time so a better bond is formed

A good setting will be of no harm under 3 , and of benefit to the child after 3. Under 3 the benefit is indirect but allows parents to provide for their child. Nursery is only harmful- at any age - if the setting and staff are poor.

I am not an expert. I haven’t carried out extensive research.

but my own experience was that a good nursery, combined with a loving and stable home environment worked well for my DD. She experienced socialising, getting to know other caregivers who she built a trusting bond with in an environment which stimulated her. Meanwhile, my working enabled me to afford trips, experiences, outings, baby groups etc as well as quality time alone with her. DH was able to work regular hours which meant he was home for bathtime, weekends etc.

as I say, this work well for DD who is an only child.

I think also worth considering each child is different. If your child has or could have SEN etc they may benefit from a different type of childcare- or none at all (staying with parent if easier and beneficial for all camps) or a mix of the two.

If i am being honest based on my own experience with a child in nursery for a few month. We started at just under 17 months but I think my DC would have been ready from 15 months when I saw confidence and interest in interacting with different people increase. Before that it would have been awful for us I think. Another point is my DC goes for very long days so over 9 hours a few days a week. I dont think it is good for him and I see the impact the overtiredness etc. However I strongly believe that half days would not only be ok but actually better for him than staying home all the time from this age. Another point to note is alot of under 1 year olds are really upset at nursery I observe and my heart breaks for them and their parents.

Erica Komisar is an author she wants people especially women to buy into her opinions. Yes she’s got experience and education in children and psychology but end of the day what she say is her opinion and the factual parts of what she says are shaped to fit her narrative.
Sending your child to a safe, welcoming environment for a couple days a week is not damaging.
If you want to use a nanny or childminder instead that is also a great option and being a SAHM is also great if you can afford to do so and want to.

I can only comment on my ds. He was happy but quite tired during the first year and had a lot of naps. He was determined to keep up with the other dcs 😀

After two, he loved it and got grumpy at the weekend when he couldn't go.

Keep in mind that ultimately, Erica Komisar wants you to buy her books etc so she can make money. You know, despite disparaging remarks about other women who want or need to do the same. She is also American and American daycares are quite different to British nurseries.

The quality of childcare matters too, a good quality childcare where a child can form a bond with their keyworker is essential.

Mine started nursery full time as babies and I have no regrets, they have thrived.

Check out Emily Oster

I’ve only encountered Emily Oster too OP, whose books are an easy read - but I would also love to see a selection of peer reviewed research into this. I also just hear views coloured by people’s decisions they made with their own children, which is also useful but I think I’ve heard every argument now from both sides and fundamentally it’s quite anecdotal. Please do share if you come across anything interesting.

Read the evidence carefully, particularly which country the research is from as the childcare will differ. Emily Oster is a good read for picking apart the evidence, whether it’s good quality and what it actually says.

The key is good quality childcare - pretty much neutral (ie no better or worse than being at home with a parent) under 3 and better for over 3s.

So we were careful with choosing a nursery. Had brilliant keyworkers assigned to our child, who knew her really well and worked closely with us with things like potty training. She formed good relationships with them. Be wary of poorer quality childcare. The other nursery we viewed had higher staff turnover and wasn’t good at record-keeping.

Someone who enjoys being at home with children, can afford it, understands how to provide enriching/engaging activities (not expensive, library, park etc) and is well supported by wider family is probably a better choice than childcare, but many of us aren’t in that situation and I’m confident that three days a week from age 1 in a high quality nursery was beneficial.

There's a huge body of research, and essentially some of it says that there are cognitive benefits (language, problem solving) to nursery and some of it says there may be impacts on behaviour and emotional regulation. All of it is barely significant for under 3s.

You also have to bear in mind that a lot of this research is funded by people with an interest in swaying people one way or another. Or it's not even research, just a so-called expert giving their opinion. Attachment theory is rooted in 1960s society and isn't as relevant as people think to 2025. Attachment parenting co-opted the language of attachment theory to promote a fundamentalist Christian "trad-wife" set up and has no scientific basis.

Each child and each childcare setting is different and you need to work out what's best for your child. My child started nursery at 14 months and absolutely thrived. I strongly believe it was the best possible environment for her.

If you're looking at any research be careful of socialisation v socialising. They're two different things.

In terms of attachment, I found that always reliably turning up for my child seemed to increase it? From starting with micro-separations (eg as a baby putting her in the playpen whilst I went to the loo) to a full day at nursery, she learnt that her parents always came back. And that seemed to make her less anxious about being away from us.
A friend who did an extreme form of attachment parenting with her two and was never ever apart from them ended up with very anxious children who couldn’t cope with being away from her at all.

I’m interested in your post - please could you expand on this? Thanks

I would think it really depends on the nursery. I returned to work at 6 months with my second (9 with my first as he was premmie) they went to nursery for about 3 days a week from then. I was worried about my 2nd a bit as he was breast fed and would not take a bottle, from 4 months old I tried every bottle I could find! He also generally napped on me only! Luckily he bonded quickly with his key worker and he was with her everyday. It was a really beautiful relationship, she was like a second mum and he would usually take his nap on her lap!

If I was you I'd read Emily Oster (who is pretty pro nurseries, and a bit biased in how she presents the research imo) and this medium post by a scientist who essentially takes down Emily Oster's conclusions https://criticalscience.medium.com/on-the-science-of-daycare-4d1ab4c2efb4

If you read both you get a pretty balanced view of the research imo.

Also if you're particularly worried about nurseries you can also look for a childminder without many kids in their care (so more 1-1 time) or a nanny share - which are both cheaper options than a nanny

Department for education did a big study of outcomes and concluded that children should be in nursery by the age of 2 at the latest for best outcomes so clearly there are multiple studies around

i also recall a meta analysis ( looking across lots of peoples work) decades ago that basically said to avoid full time for the smaller children but part time ( up to 3 days a week ) they couldn’t detect and differences ( there may have been a caveat that it was good to kids with no dad but it’s a long time back for my memory is vague )

so that’s all bases covered - good for them, bad for them and indifferent

I think it depends on the child. My dc started at 15 months and loved it , she took to it right away. Didn't cry once and was always excited to go in. However when she was settling in I saw other babies crying and very unsettled. It broke my heart. They wanted their parents for sure.

I’ve never come across this at all? Children should be in nursery by 2 supported by scientific evidence? Could you send the link, as this is contrary to everything ire read. Thank you,

I agree with this, I felt mine was ready around 18 months and they started when they were 2 years old, although it was only 3 mornings a week. They really enjoyed themselves. They didn't even cry on the first day (or any day). Other children seem genuinely distressed and miserable throughout the day. I see some waiting at the gate for their parents which is horrible.

My thoughts exactly. I’d also like to read this please.