Would you choose this nursery?

[AleaEim]

Myself and DH went to view a highly recommended family run nursery today, for context we’re on the waiting list for this and many other nurseries/ childminders as they are mostly booked up in our area. I got a really good vibe from the nursery, staff were friendly, the children and staff seemed happy there (unlike others we viewed), activities seemed great, plenty of outdoor time, fun activities were being laid out as we were there, children were in the garden despite it being a chilly day (this is important to me as I would like my DD to be outside in all weather.

Afterwards, I turned to DH (who’s normally a laid back person) to see if he also got a great vibe only for him to tell me that when we were in the garden one of the staff members eye rolled at one of the children as she wasn’t understanding how to use the climbing frame. I’m not naive, I used to work in childcare (not nurseries) and I know there’s bad eggs everywhere. Children can be annoying but it’s not as if the child was being naughty, she just didn’t understand something. It really made me feel so disappointed as the nursery really seemed amazing. If this is happening in a highly recommended nursery with a long waiting list, then what’s happening in the bad ones?

My DH thinks it’s probably just one outlier in the nursery and that we shouldn’t write it off. I think I’ve a right mind to email the nursery manager and let her know about this, they have cctv so maybe they can keep an eye on her.

Am I being too picky or should I write this nursery off. We really don’t have much choice in our area although we did meet one lovely childminder recently who might have space soon. I guess she could be rolling her eyes as well but I’d have to trust she wouldn’t.

You are being ridiculously picky and quite unfair.

Am I? I never eye rolled at a child in my care even if they were bothering me. I just wonder what she’s doing when she’s behind closed doors if she’s doing this in full view?

I’m a childminder and I’ve rolled my eyes a fair few times. Usually at tantrums. I also have face palm moments 🤷🏼‍♀️

She probably eye rolls when you aren't there too. What are you getting at?

An eye roll 😆 honestly!

I know an eye roll isn’t exactly child abuse but when you’re viewing a nursery you want a positive attitude which I think is pretty basic. I’d worry that she’d take her frustration out on the children, it happens, I’ve seen bad staff and usually it’s just too of the iceberg for worse behaviour. Also there’s a few eye opening threads on here about nurseries recently which doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence on nurseries.

As I said this wasn’t a tantrum though, just a small child not understanding something.

Yeah and I have my suspicion I know why. It's no coincidence that the government's new plan is to move childcare in to state nurseries away from the PVI sector. The news reports regarding serious incident reports was well timed in the media too, despite there being legit reasons why the amount of reports would have increased in the period they talk about but they conveniently leave out the reasons....

Anyway, as I said, I'm wary of any and all nursery threads at the mo. I don't work in a nursery either!

When my daughter was two, I was picking her up from nursery. I was standing chatting to one of the ladies, getting the low down on the day, when another came over to us and handed my whiny daughter to the lady and said “can you take her she is doing my nut in” Far from getting a bad vibe from her (she was one of my favourites) I knew exactly where she was coming from. My daughter could be really annoying when she was whiny. These women have the patience of saints, frankly. It’s bound to get to them sometimes.

Probably best just keep your child at home until they are 18.

People can have a positive attitude and still have an eye roll or two. It doesn’t mean they will ‘take out their frustration’ on a child. I’ve rolled my eyes at my own children a lot over the years and I’ve never taken out my frustration on them. At the end of the day, childcare staff are human beings at the end of the day. If it’s an eye roll then it’s an eye roll, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re going to harm or abuse, it doesn’t mean they’re not incredible childcare staff.

Personally, I don't like nurseries for small children in general, but really?! An eye roll?!

Unfortunately you only have two options:

Wait until AI is advanced enough for robot nannies.

Stay at home and look after your child yourself.

Kids are annoying sometimes and currently all childcare staff are human. Eyerolls will happen.

You probably also need you make plans to homeschool.

Nurseries all have really high staff turnover so even if you picked a different one, you might end up with the same member of staff there. However, I wouldn't be worrying about an eye roll. One of my favourite staff at my DCs' nursery has a sort of detached, ironic look pretty much all the time which I really appreciate - it kind of says she knows exactly how toddlers operate and privately finds it all hilarious. It fills me with much more confidence than a kind of gushy enthusiasm over the babies that you sometimes get. Also the child had probably asked for help on the climbing frame about 25 times in a row, like the way my toddler gets stuck at the top of the slide every single time he goes on it.

If this is bothering you that much I don’t think paid childcare will ever meet your expectations, unless perhaps a Norland Nanny

All small children can be annoying. All nursery workers are human. How could there not be the occasional eye-roll?

I get it but I’m probably going to go with a nursery or childminder where the staff didn’t eye roll, even if it happens everywhere, I would rather not see it. I’m not going to actively choose a place like that if I can help it.

And you sent her back there? Poor child.

Have you never had a wee eye roll at work, OP? If so, I think you are in a minority of one

Saucer of milk for one, OP?

No nursery has perfect staff, because they are staffed by humans.

However amazing the nursery, humans will not always have a positive attitude. Sometimes they may be stressed, irritable, tired, ill.
There will be eye rolls, snappiness, less than ideal wording and raised voices on occasion, I guarantee it.

No because I hate the outside in all weathers shit. Sometimes it’s freezing and I hate being cold so expect some DCs do too.

Sorry but if this is your bat you must give up work and look after your DC yourself 24/7 as no one else will ever be good enough.

To annoying bosses maybe, not vulnerable children and I work with SEN, it’s called having patience. You’d expect a nursery worker to at least pretend to enjoy her job when someone is viewing.

I wish I could