Would you choose this nursery?

[AleaEim]

Myself and DH went to view a highly recommended family run nursery today, for context we’re on the waiting list for this and many other nurseries/ childminders as they are mostly booked up in our area. I got a really good vibe from the nursery, staff were friendly, the children and staff seemed happy there (unlike others we viewed), activities seemed great, plenty of outdoor time, fun activities were being laid out as we were there, children were in the garden despite it being a chilly day (this is important to me as I would like my DD to be outside in all weather.

Afterwards, I turned to DH (who’s normally a laid back person) to see if he also got a great vibe only for him to tell me that when we were in the garden one of the staff members eye rolled at one of the children as she wasn’t understanding how to use the climbing frame. I’m not naive, I used to work in childcare (not nurseries) and I know there’s bad eggs everywhere. Children can be annoying but it’s not as if the child was being naughty, she just didn’t understand something. It really made me feel so disappointed as the nursery really seemed amazing. If this is happening in a highly recommended nursery with a long waiting list, then what’s happening in the bad ones?

My DH thinks it’s probably just one outlier in the nursery and that we shouldn’t write it off. I think I’ve a right mind to email the nursery manager and let her know about this, they have cctv so maybe they can keep an eye on her.

Am I being too picky or should I write this nursery off. We really don’t have much choice in our area although we did meet one lovely childminder recently who might have space soon. I guess she could be rolling her eyes as well but I’d have to trust she wouldn’t.

So what is it, you don’t want to see it or you expect it to never happen? Thankfully, people who work in childcare are actually human. Looking after a large group of very small children will induce the odd eye roll here and there.

How old is your child OP?
2yr olds + are very strong willed and do lots of eye rolling worthy stuff.
Will you never eye roll? Or is it ok for you just no one else?

I don’t believe that you’re immensely rude online, but never even roll your eyes in real life.

Please please tell me this isn't serious. If so, no don't choose that nursery and save the poor nursery workers, who will no doubt have to deal with your daily complaints about eye rolling or tutting, or maybe even a slight tone you don't like.

My DD goes to an outstanding nursery. Rated and in everything they do. It's honestly one of the best early years settings around. I cannot fault it (apart from the insane fees). I have stood chatting with a nursery worker and we've both laughed and eye rolled a bit at a situation ongoing with a group of children while i was picking up (one of which was my DD). Kids are challenging and test your patience. You have no idea what that child is like and how much they have tested that persons patience that day, or whether the nursery worker had told them 25 times and helped them already that morning. You cannot honestly have an issue with this. Its utter insanity.

I get that children can be annoying and of course you get fed up. The problem was more so this persons attitude towards the child, it was more aggressive/ hostile rather than just ‘oh you’re being silly’ type of attitude. For my DH to notice something like this it would have to be quite intense tbh. It’s just not given me great confidence in the nursery now tbh, wasn’t a great impression. If you were hiring a nanny and she eye rolled at your child with a hostile manner, would you hire her?

But you're not hiring a nanny. You seriously sound like incredibly high maintenence as parents. I honestly can't believe what i'm reading.

As i said if you don't like it then don't send your DC there. Maybe actually hire a nanny. But maybe show them this thread first so they know what they're in for.

You are being v precious. Many people will have done an eye roll. It is hardly indicative if anything I think you are going to find it v difficult to have a child in childcare.

How on earth can an eye roll be in a hostile manner??

At my son's nursery a few of the children have aunties or mums working in the nursery. Not in the same room, but when they're playing outside they might be with a child they're related to. They certainly eye roll their own kids 😂

Well, you'd better do it, then.
🤣

If you were hiring a nanny and she eye rolled at your child with a hostile manner, would you hire her?

Ah, we've moved on now.

It wasn't just an eye roll.

It was an eye roll with a hostile manner.

Got it.

I wouldn’t like it. But I think when strangers are looking after your child, this sort of thing is inevitable.

I’d find it completely unacceptable for someone to say my child was “doing my nut in” so I just don’t understand the attitude of that PP thinking it was ok. So I think an eye roll is not as bad

I wondered this too.
I'm sure I have rolled my eyes at my grandchildren when I have been looking after them . But I have also always been loving, patient and kind. And they feel confident, happy and safe with me.

I’ve been a nanny for 19 years. I’m surprised my eyeballs are still attached tbh.

On Friday, despite being shown umpteen times how to do something, 3yo DC was not doing it properly and therefore the toy kept falling apart. His dad and I rolled our eyes at each other, silently screamed at each other then went back to showing him again.

Even nursery workers are human. Shocking I know.

OP get a grip. Let me guess - first kid?

Humans aren’t perfect and frankly you should take the approach that you as parents won’t at least once raise your voice, get cross, say something you don’t mean etc. You are holding this nursery to a ridiculous standard because an eye roll is a deal breaker for you.

And your defending your position will mean no nursery will ever live up to your standards and you will be THAT parent constantly speaking to or ringing the nursery and then school.

Well that’s how DH described it, I didn’t see her but he said she looked like she didn’t want to be there and fed up, like the child was frustrating her.

You see this attitude isn’t what I’m talking about, it’s lighthearted to react like that when kids are being difficult. The impression DH got was this staff member was fed up and had a bad attitude.

@AleaEim no judgement here

From personal experience i would say you are going to be.much better off with a nanny or a CM.

I was similarly picky" and eventually accepted nurseries werent for me. I viewed a tonnnne of nurseries and ended up going with a CM (and now a 2nd CM who was froends with our first...as OG CM has decided to retire 😢😢😢)

Both are amazing women who care about my children. We will still see OG CM regularly once she retires as she is just lovely...

That is quite a big impression to get from a minute or two observed. In any event you have decided this nursery is no good so look at another. However you need to grasp that you won't like every member of staff your child comes into contact with and you will have absolutely no influence on who will be taking care of her as that is the job of the nursery owner / manager. I think you might be happier with a nanny if you can afford it or a childminder if not.

It seems from your further posts you have already decided as you are arguing back at anyone who says the opposite to what you think

I think your being ridiculous

Just like your husband (who is apparently a mind reader which is amazing, you should pimp him out to do tricks…) has not a fucking clue what that nursery worker was thinking or feeling, you don’t know that I was fucking fed up. I was absolutely fed up that I had had to fix the same toy and manage the same tantrum 14 (literally) times that day and when I say silently screamed I mean I stood in the hallway, and silently screamed. Because I am human.

Not an eye roll 🙄

and only dh saw it. Not you. So prob for a mini second

most mums and childcare carers have rolled their eyes. I certainly have

sorry you sound too precious for a nursery or even a cm

Nanny is the only childcare solution for you - so childcare budget will increase and depending what you are like as an employer - you may losing a few nannies

You don't know why she eye rolled. Maybe the child was whinging she can't do it when she did it yesterday. Maybe she's always 'not understanding' for attention and is a very needy child (these are difficult when you're taking care of 10 other children). Maybe the child always wants someone to do it for her when they know she can do it. There could be many reasons I can think of, none being a genuine "I've never done this before, please help me."

In terms of government moving nurseries to state, I think it's a great idea. Profit is constantly getting in the way of decent pay and decent facilities. I know because I work in this sector. If all the money was used on decent pay you would get much better staff. We are on minimum wage but it's very tiring, high responsibility and a large amount of planning/prep. I'm about to leave.

Yeah I think I’d prefer a childminder but they are gold dust in my area. I will keep trying.
no way I’m paying my entire salary on anything less than excellent care.

🙄 The fact that you’ve decided that this nursery is less then excellent care based on your apparently psychic husband knowing exactly how this woman felt means you are going to really struggle to find somewhere