Is this normal

[AleaEim]

I’m hoping to find a childminder for my child when I finish mat leave in December. I found three/ four I liked and wanted to meet with them to arrange a viewing to narrow it down but they’ve all been really hard to get a hold of. They all say that they are full and will put us on a waiting list and that we can view the setting in the mean time. Each one of them have been so slow at responding, think weeks, not days. Two in particularI really like the look of from their social media pages and they have also been recommended time and time again on posts I’ve put up on local FB groups. I’ve had to chase them for information even after they seemed interested in putting us on their waiting list. One of them took two weeks to reply and now hasn’t messaged back when I came back to her with a date for the viewing. The other one messaged me on Sunday (after she ignored my first message for weeks) saying she would be in touch Monday with dates but hasn’t messaged since.

Is this normal with childminders? Are they just too busy to reply? they’re on their own and don’t have assistants so I understand they’re busy. If they have no interest then so be it but they told me they may have space so that’s why I’m chasing them as they seem really good in paper.

I mean, that's not my style but we're all different. Equally I wouldn't be in a hurry to have a parent visit if I didn't have a space to fill, I'd be upfront and tell you that though. I've also spent weeks chasing parents who are seemingly desperate for childcare but hard to pin down.

Good luck.

Supply and demand, if they have long waiting lists they don't have to sell themselves to you, even though you're paying, you have to convince them to pick YOUR child

Oh well now, that’s not what I expected. Really? I’m not desperate, I will find others but these just happened to be ones I liked on paper, there are others who responded better but they are further afield but I’ll travel if needs be. To be honest I’m now getting a bad feeling as poor communication won’t work will it?

What's not what you expected?

Perhaps they presume there’s not a rush as they don’t have the immediate space. I’m a childminder and, whilst my communication is good, I don’t rush to book a visit if I don’t currently have a space and know I won’t for a lengthy period. Visits can be difficult to fit in at times, I won’t have them whilst I’m working as I’m focusing on the children. I book them outside working hours and sometimes I just have a lot on.

They’re full and so are busy, they don’t need to put you in the waiting list immediately as they have loads on it already. In busy areas you have to start looking for childcare a long time in advance, I put my baby’s name down on the list for nursery before he was born.

Agree that if they don't currently have a space then they won't be in any rush to arrange a viewing. If they have long waiting lists then it's likely you won't even get a space in December. As a childminder it is also really hard to predict availability of spaces more than 2-3 months in advance as they have no idea how long a family may want to stay with them.

By all means, do keep looking though as if your area is anything like mine, childcare spaces are really hard to come by.

They've got no spaces and you don't even want a space for 9 months.

If you had contacted me I would say you should get back in touch after September.

They are probably dealing with new starters for places in April and September now.

Then being the ones that are choosy, chilled out about filling places. I suppose I thought I’d be the one with choice.

Ah I see, I would prefer to meet the childminder in action though, seeing how she interacts with the children, seeing how busy/ stimulating it is. I would have thought that was the norm, I wouldn’t be too concerned with meeting a childminder in her empty home. The main thing for me is how securely the children feel there. Is that not a normal thing for a parent to want ?

I do meetings in work time but as it's disruptive to the children and our day I only do it if I have a space and have spoken to the parent on the phone and am pretty sure I would offer the space. I won't do speculative visits for spaces wanted months away.

As a parent who has their child with the child minder, would you want a random person coming in to observe how your child is interacting with the child minder and other children? And multiple times as it would be for everyone who was considering the child minder? Usually you’d meet with the child minder when the child minder knows they will have a place available, and then when you’d accept you have settle visits with your child before they start.

Depends which area you live in, some areas are fully booked for months for all childcare and you may not get much choice at all.

The childminder won’t be able to answer your questions as well if you’re going round there when she’s in charge of lots of kids. For ours we met the childminder first by herself, she’d talk all about the setting and we’d see if we liked her and liked how she spoke about things. If that worked out then we might have popped in for a quick visit but I can’t really remember. It’s def disruptive to them though to be planning an initial visit during the day. Plan to meet separately first and take it from there. And no, you might not get much choice depending on how full they all are, and what you’re looking for. Varies a lot!

It's been a long time since I used a childminder but I absolutely wouldn't expect to visit while she had other children there. How would you feel as a parent knowing another random adult was there at the same time your child was?

Also, they have a waitlist. I wouldn't expect to visit until a space came up. If they offered visits to everyone on their waitlist they'd be wasting their time as lots will end up finding another setting if a space doesn't come up when needed. You're wanting to visit 4 which means until a space at any of them actually comes up you're wasting the time of 3 them. In my experience it's common to go on a waitlist, then visit if a space comes up, if you decline the space after visiting it will then go down the list to the next person for their chance to visit. It's also common for a space to never come up for the hours/days you want. They'll almost always prefer to take a full time child than part time and have to fill the hours you don't want.

Oh right. Well if I'm full then what can I do about it? I am choosy because I'm picking the right family and child to fit in to my setting as much as you are choosing the right cm for your child.

I wonder if this attitude is coming across in your messages and that's why people aren't keen to have you visit?

I do initial meets on my day off, I have too much to say and show you without trying to do my job at the same time.

This used to be the case but childminders and nurseries are very much in charge now and can pick and choose who they want due to the severe lack of childcare places in many areas.

In the case of a childminder, they can be more picky as if they have a certain cohort of current children they will want a child to fit in with the children they already have to keep a happy setting.

Just be warned that if you do get to the interview stage, you won't be the only family being interviewed for that one space. The childminder will see at least two families and go with the best fit.

Ah I see, I would prefer to meet the childminder in action though, seeing how she interacts with the children, seeing how busy/ stimulating it is. I would have thought that was the norm

This is a bit weird and no the norm. Why would the CM be taking up time talking through things with you while she’s caring for children? You’re a total stranger, why would those parents want you watching how the CM interacts with than?

You’ve got the wrong assumption if you thought CMs of nurseries would be begging you to join, most are oversubscribed with huge wait lists.

When I’m working, my focus is on the children in my care. My working days are devoted to them in every way. I don’t have time to show people around and answer questions. It’s hard enough when Ofsted are here and I have to do the same but Ofsted are as unobtrusive as possible. The children also tend to act very differently if I have a stranger in my home, very often they get shy and tend not to play and communicate as freely when a strange adult is here. When a parent decides they would like a space, Intend to arrange meetings in the parks or for a walk in the woods. That way the child gets more used to me and starts to interact with their future peers.

Just to add to my last post. When a family asks to visit, it’s also my opportunity to see if I would like to work with them. If I think the child would be a good fit with the other children. If think the parents will be able to have a good partnership with me or if they are going to be difficult.

I've always had parent visits during work hours and as far as I know all CMs in my area do so I don't think it's an odd thing for the OP to want to do. Just maybe not 9 months in advance.

When I was childminding, all my visits were done in the evening and the children gone home, I would not be able to sit down with a potential new family and answer questions etc with the children about, I also don’t know if you could be a potential risk to the children I care for. You will need to remember yes the family gets to choose their childminder but they are also seeing if you and your family are a good fit for the current children they care for. I had “interviewed” some families that I just did not get a good vibe from or I was not prepared to adjust my routine around there’s so if/ when they contacted me later on wanting a space I would say sorry it’s now been filled. I had parents excepting me to stop going out to playgroups, trips out meet other childminders etc as they wanted little John to stay in my home the whole time.

Ahhh I remember it well. The blissful ignorance before securing childcare for my first, ringing myself fondly touring places to find the perfect little spot for my pfb ideally with a little wood outside the door when the organic food would be grown versus the reality that was me stopping randomers on the street asking if they would be willing to mind my child:..

Are you ok? Having a bad day? I’m not sure how I have an attitude, most people looking for childcare would want to have choice and view the interactions children. I used to work as a nanny and that’s how it went, interview, trials etc. obviously childminders don’t work like that but I’d still like to meet them and see if they’re right for us.

Anyway, I’ve now booked in a few visits with other childminders who seem just as good and busy as the others, I’m also visiting during their working hours, wasn’t that much of a problem in the end.

Thank you, you’d swear I was askIng for something outrageous. I’m only doing it 9 months in advance because a mum friend advised me to and we have no family support so need something definite.