Is this normal

[AleaEim]

I’m hoping to find a childminder for my child when I finish mat leave in December. I found three/ four I liked and wanted to meet with them to arrange a viewing to narrow it down but they’ve all been really hard to get a hold of. They all say that they are full and will put us on a waiting list and that we can view the setting in the mean time. Each one of them have been so slow at responding, think weeks, not days. Two in particularI really like the look of from their social media pages and they have also been recommended time and time again on posts I’ve put up on local FB groups. I’ve had to chase them for information even after they seemed interested in putting us on their waiting list. One of them took two weeks to reply and now hasn’t messaged back when I came back to her with a date for the viewing. The other one messaged me on Sunday (after she ignored my first message for weeks) saying she would be in touch Monday with dates but hasn’t messaged since.

Is this normal with childminders? Are they just too busy to reply? they’re on their own and don’t have assistants so I understand they’re busy. If they have no interest then so be it but they told me they may have space so that’s why I’m chasing them as they seem really good in paper.

Huh? You've clearly misread my post but anyway, best of luck with your childcare search!

I interview parents just as much as them interviewing me. I need to know we can work together. My spaces have been booked from pregnancy.

I meet parents first have a discussion we see if we have a potential match then come back in working hours. You can't have random people sitting around for safeguarding so limiting contact is important.

I'd be less likely to use a childminder who touts for business during her working day than one who uses her spare time to see parents, thus ensuring the children get her full attention when they're there.

Be careful what you wish for.

If I had space I would have arranged to see people needing childcare. Usually in a week or two of them getting in touch. I never bothered with wait lists so wouldn’t have seen people if I was full. I’d be put off if the person didn’t imminently need care as they may be wasting my time.

Wow OP

I think your post and response to a CM who has given their honest, very reasonable view speaks volumes about you and how you view childminders…perhaps as PP mentioned, that attitude is coming across.

Choosing a childminder is very different from choosing a Nanny. You don’t interview a childminder as you don’t employ them. You are not meeting a childminder in your home like you would a nanny, you are requesting to meet them in their own home. It’s up to the childminder when they would like that visit to take place. A childminder will also want to know if she/he would like to care for your child and would like to offer their services to you. The meeting is as much for them as it is for you.

if you want to make judgments about childminders because they’re not bending over backwards to meet you, especially as they don’t have a space then so be it. If they are only willing to meet you outside of working hours then that’s up to them and they could have a myriad of reasons. They are not beholden to you and perhaps, like someone else has already mentioned, you don’t come across so well in your interactions. If some of your comments are anything to go by then I don’t blame them to be honest.

As a nanny you are not responsible for other adults in the home coming into contact with the charges....as a childminder all adult interactions must be supervised outsiders are not allowed to be left with mindees or be present if a child is having a nappy changed etc. this means they interrupt the flow of a session and some activities wouldn't happen for fear it would need to be halted to do intimate care. Children can't be left alone eating so no snack time if they are needing to deal with you. It's a safeguarding minefield that many refuse to worry about for random visitors until they know they are going to fit in a setting and are interested in a space....
You can't compare being interviewed as a nanny to visiting a nursery, school, playgroup or childminder where the interview is also of the family

I wouldn't invite you to visit my setting when I'm working I'm afraid. It's often upsetting for the children i already care for, new parents have lots of questions (quite rightly) and will take my attention away from the children i am caring for. Often they get upset, as they want their own mums and dads or just don't like the intrusion.

I always invite 3 or 4 families to visit me when I have a space to fill. Usually 3 or 4 months in advance if I have notice of a change in my setting, usually i know as children move up to preschool etc. I meet each family individually, interact with the little one, get a feeling for the child's abilities, what the parents want etc. They I can form a decision on which child/Family best fits the current cohort of children and fills the space and requirements, and offer the space that way.

If I thought i had a space in December, and you enquired I add you to my waiting list, send you some info about my setting and not invite you to meet till earliest September. A lot can happen or change between now and then. Just follow up with them later in the year. They will be incredibly busy at the moment. We all have new directives re funding, new children starting and they are already full. I'm sure they will get back to you in time.

Re the nine months in advance - the problem is if you leave it too long you might not get a space at all. DD was down for the same nursery her brother attends even before she was born.

I always had parents visit when I was working. They get to see the setting in action and I explain to them on the phone that the children will take priority during their visit.
i would always try and get back to parents as soon as possible, but if they don’t have active spaces or don’t foresee any coming up they may not be as proactive as if they did.
If they have more questions that we didn’t go through then they can call/email. My hours took up enough of my time without evening/weekend visits too.
as a childminder when families visit, you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you! Sometimes you just don’t fit. It is best to visit as many as possible to get a feel for what’s available and why you’re looking for.
9months is a good time to start looking to get added to the waiting list. Not too early at all.

Yes this is what I have been doing, I’ve visited a few now while they were open, it’s not uncommon. The other couple of childminders I mentioned initially are still flakey with their comminsction so prob best to leave them be. Such a pity as they came highly recommended but surely they can’t be that good if they’re so vague.

Now I've seen the OP's thread about the nursery worker, I totally stand by my comment about her attitude coming across badly. Her DH too by the sounds of it.

Lucky escape for the cms involved!

Yes exactly, all nurseries in my area are full until September 2026.

I expected to see something really bad from what you put. It’s PFB syndrome is all. To be honest this post comes across far worse. It is petty and point scoring and it’s also bad form to drag other threads across from one another.

Or perhaps that they’re just really busy. If they’re highly recommended then they are likely full at the moment!

Thank you @somethingelseinthebox I didn’t have enough of an interaction with the CMs to come across in a bad light, just basic, hi, you sound great, do you have a space, can we come and view please type of chat. @ScrewedByFunding you have issues, you’re clearly v petty and it’s sad you get paid to look after other people’s children.

“Surely they can’t be that good if they’re so vague”

And your nasty comment to @ScrewedByFunding as if to say how very dare you question me, you shouldn’t be paid to look after children 😂

You sound like an utter nightmare.

Except that @ScrewedByFunding had searched her posts and told her (and everyone on this thread) she was a nightmare because of something her DH said.

Maybe the OP is overly fussy although I don’t think replying to an enquiry and wanting to see the setting is overly demanding - it’s kind of the least I’d expect to be honest.

You're obviously not in London 😂😂

Actually I didn't search her posts. I have read both threads and noticed, that's all. Chill.

I’m sat on the sofa watching Maddie’s Do You Know with my children. If I was any more chilled, I’d slip into a coma!

No matter where you saw it it’s bad form and manners. If you’re full as a childminder and are successful and retaining and attracting clients, why someone being fussy on the internet is an issue is beyond me.

No issues, except a fantastic radar for parents enquiring my services who might be difficult. Yes I might be wrong but it's such a personal relationship that it's important to get right.

Clearly I wouldn't be the cm for you either. I'm not rude to people in real life, and I am trying not to be rude here. But I just anticipate that you would be a difficult parent to work with. That's all. And you wouldn't want me anyway, that's cool too.

No need to feel it's a shame I get paid to look after children. I am excellent at my job and the families I do choose to work with are all fabulous too.

Right, but announcing on here that the OP will be difficult is literally helping no one. It might be acceptable as a sort of ‘look, you might risk the relationship between your childcare provider and you if you go in with this approach’ but when you’re just effectively saying ‘ner ner ner’ it helps no one and it’s not very pleasant to read to be honest. And by the same token I wouldn’t be impressed if a professional I was trusting to care for my children was behaving like this online! Although of course I’d have no way of knowing.

You say you’re not rude in real life - well, don’t be rude online then. It’s this which creates a bad atmosphere across the boards to be honest.

Which if you read my initial post I was trying to do. Anyway, have a good evening, I'm off to have dinner with my mum. All the best.