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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Can you help me solve my temp childcare problem?

44 replies

ChildinHospital · 23/02/2025 03:01

We have a child in hospital and need to be there to support 24/7 in shifts. We have two little ones at home.

Partner and I are both on leave from work. Any creative ideas on where I can source overnight care for child in hospital? Just need to be there while they sleep so we can sleep and manage the 18 hours we need to split between hospital and home.

We just did this for a month - but can’t manage and other two months just on our own.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fartfacenotfatface · 23/02/2025 03:21

Why can't the hospital staff care for your child that's in hospital overnight? Surely it wouldn't be appropriate for a near stranger to sit with a child in hospital, so if the parents can't be there (understandable for the length of stay and that you have other children at home) why do they need childcare? It's been a while since I've had experience of this but when I did, many of the children didn't have a parent staying on the ward overnight and the nurses would just tend to them if they woke and needed them.

minisoksmakehardwork · 23/02/2025 05:44

I feel like you're over complicating things.

Both parents are on leave from work. So one person stays in the hospital for a few days while the other manages the kids at home and house. Then switch. Or switch days and nights. One of you does the daytime and the other comes in for the nights, then you switch after a couple of days. Both of you have the disrupted sleep of overnights in hospital but also get a chance to sleep in your own bed.

DH and I opted for the day/night scenario. I took Ds to hospital so dh relieved me at night. I relieved him in the morning. After 3 days, I stayed through the night so dh got a good nights sleep then he came in for the day. I went home to shower properly, sleep, spend time with our eldest then came back for the night shift.

Having a child in hospital for long periods of time is relentless but the nursing staff are paid to be there to provide medical care for your child.

Alternatively, if one of you really cannot be at the hospital overnight, there really is no issue with telling the hospital that. When Ds was in a single parent had to go home every night, leaving her little one in hospital. You could see her heart break every night but she needed to be home for her other children. The nurses just cared for the tot if they woke up and needed anything, even a hug.

Loveduppenguin · 23/02/2025 06:03

As the parents you tag team it…you do a few days each. A sick child is not going to want a stranger in their hospital room.

Mumof1andacat · 23/02/2025 06:43

You both don't need to be there. I work in a children's hospital. We only allow 1 parent to stay overnight. Most families take it in turn. Mum stays for a few days and then swaps with dad. The parent who's at home might pop in for a visit with siblings, but generally, they will bring the siblings for the change over visit. It's really important to maintain routine at home. Children in hospital need a calm environment. Lots of visitors can be overwhelming.

TriangleLight · 23/02/2025 06:49

Is it because you and/or DH need to get back to work?

In that case I think I’d say to the hospital staff that you can’t be there at nights.

It sounds very difficult @ChildinHospital 💐

PurpleThistle7 · 23/02/2025 07:00

Im so sorry your wee one is unwell. Either you split and one stays there for a few days and then swaps, you both go home at night as you said your poorly one is asleep all night anyway, or you split days and nights. You can't have a random person with your child in hospital (though you could hire someone to help at home to fix the other side of this)

Peekingovertheparapet · 23/02/2025 07:09

This sounds dreadful OP. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Is this a long term thing for you to adjust to for your child or is there an end goal to get to?

I think you’re best off talking to the hospital team first and see what they say. I have been overnight in hospital with my children but only for the odd few days (and we live very close to a large children’s hospital). There were children on some wards who didn’t have parents overnight every night, especially children with long term problems. I’m sure you won’t be the first family dealing with this.

At the same time, why is it the night shift in particular that is problematic for you? In our house it’s the daytime that’s more difficult with children needing to be dropped or picked up.

Do you have access to any family support person? I think this is possible sometimes when children are unwell for long periods.

Original poster

ChildinHospital · 23/02/2025 08:07

Thanks folks.

Due to her condition my child when sleeping needs someone awake all night to change her nappies and manage the machines - various issues pop up that require nursing staff support. Someone can sleep next to her but due to interventions you may get two periods of two hours uninterrupted sleep. If we manage it - then one has no sleep but has to do the day shift at home with the other kids.

So she can’t be left overnight (I know many parents whose kids have been in for up to year and they have to do it eventually if the kid is stable to be left).

If someone covers hospital at night then all three kids experience least disruption. It’s already been destabilising for one to be so ill and absent from the home. I am still breastfeeding a six month old who refuses all expressed milk or other liquids. So I’m having to manage feeding her with days at hospital. Partner can’t cover all nights and do full days with 2 other kids. And I am still feeding through night so harder to leave little one. I am going to try not to feed her through night and see if she can settle so I can share nights but last night wasn’t a success.

OP posts:

Original poster

ChildinHospital · 23/02/2025 08:10

Hi @Mumof1andacat - we’ve had long stays at hospital before so well versed. We only do one parent at a time and have the children outside the unit for handovers. Child in hospital needs waking care overnight so no one is getting sleep - and she can’t be left.

Daycare at home for the other two doesn’t solve problem of baby refusing liquids through day / night. We had thought about a healthcare assistant who does bank to sit in with our daughter to ensure she has care but allow sleep.

OP posts:

Original poster

ChildinHospital · 23/02/2025 08:26

Hi @minisoksmakehardwork - we have a child needing breastfeeding that makes this a bit more complicated. Should have set that out earlier.

Previously when we had a lengthy stay I lived at hospital and expressed for other child. No problem - except youngest refuses cups, syringes, bottles (tried many teats). We keep persisting - but we’re finding the juggle a challenge.

OP posts:

Strictlymad · 23/02/2025 08:31

senidng you love op, it’s really tough having a child in hospital for an extended time. For us it was the bf baby in which helped a little. Could you get some help for home in the morning for say 4 hours? Dh does the night at hospital so you can bf baby, swap at 8am, dh comes home and sleeps til 12 while a nanny etc has kids in house. Dh gets up spends afternoon with kids then swaps back to hospital at 6pm. Can bf baby go to the hospital with you in the day time?

Strictlymad · 23/02/2025 08:33

Have you tried minbie bottles for baby? Or could you do as I said above but you do the night at hospital with baby there too? You you can bf on the wakes?

MikeRafone · 23/02/2025 08:36

I’d look on childcare.co.uk website for childcare help? But it will be paid

you could get the babysitter to care for the children at home during the day so you get to sleep - like a night shift

Original poster

ChildinHospital · 23/02/2025 08:52

Hi folks - while I can try again - they’ve been insistent baby can’t be on ward. They make allowances for someone bringing her up for a feed but that’s it. Risk around infection control and her young age.

@Strictlymad will try Minbie.

Daycare makes sense for the other two at home but with logistics of baby needing to be lifted, insurance for employer, disruption I thought someone looking after sleeping child while also being in presence of nurses made more sense. The team at hospital were supportive given length of stay.

OP posts:

Spring2025 · 23/02/2025 08:52

Sorry to hear your child is unwell. My husband did days in hospital, I slept and my mum/ MIL cared for other DC and then I did hospital nights. I expressed milk in the day, but ultimately made the decision to stop breastfeeding as it was too much pressure on me. In your situation I would look for a short term nanny or childminder to take over the day shifts for your other children, to free up you and your partner to alternate sleep/ hospital night shift.

user1492757084 · 23/02/2025 08:53

Is there a charity associated with the hospital?
Speak with the local Vicar, hospital Chaplin or church visiting group (Who usually have working with children tickets) Often there are retired women who volunteer for such tasks and sometimes will form a roster.
I would try having the breast fed baby with you, where ever you are.

MuggleMe · 23/02/2025 08:55

Any chance the hospital would let you ask one of their bank staff? No idea how that would work with paying them etc. or ask PALS?

Whyherewego · 23/02/2025 08:56

Have you contacted PALS? If your child in hospital needs 1 on 1 care overnight then surely the hospital should be providing this?

Original poster

ChildinHospital · 23/02/2025 08:57

Hi @MuggleMe I think I’ll do that.

We are happy to pay full rates and run a payroll - it’s just finding someone. Will try pals and @user1492757084 will try volunteer groups to see if I can pay someone.

OP posts:

Original poster

ChildinHospital · 23/02/2025 08:58

@Whyherewego - parents are expected to be there 24/7. The staff provide nursing care, not intimate care & feeding, soothing.

OP posts:

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 23/02/2025 09:00

Is it a teaching hospital? There might be medical students who would be willing to do it as a side job.

TicTac80 · 23/02/2025 09:09

You mentioned that your DC needs someone to manage the machines. I don’t know what those machines are but the hospital would need to be satisfied that the person who is doing paid care would be trained and insured to do this. You mentioned your DC needs nursing care and waking nights, but then mentioned an HCA. To me nursing care, is from trained nurses.

I’m a nurse (for adult patients), and can’t speak for paediatric wards, but we often have patients with very complex needs on the ward. Some have their own carers (be that family or paid carers) but it’s a case by case situation as to who (ie the carers) can do what on the ward. Often it is different from what they do at home (due to insurance etc).

Speak to the ward manager and the matrons and see what suggestions they can come up with. I hope they can sort something for you x

Whyherewego · 23/02/2025 09:09

ChildinHospital · 23/02/2025 08:58

@Whyherewego - parents are expected to be there 24/7. The staff provide nursing care, not intimate care & feeding, soothing.

I understand that they wont provide hugs and soothing but they should be changing nappies if required surely ?
I find it hard to believe the hospital can expect 24 x7 presence. What if you were single parent with others at home? What if you were a foster child. I just think hospital should be able to attend to practical needs of children when in their care. Especially if it's a few hours overnight.
Could PALS at least recommend a service that other parents have used in similar situations?
Sorry OP sounds very tough.

MikeRafone · 23/02/2025 09:11

Childcare.co.uk

people can upload there certificates to the website to be verified- obviously you’d need to see them. This though lets you weed out anyone without a DBS

possibly place an advert for both day time and overnight visits n hospital, then see what responses you get

Lolarowan · 23/02/2025 09:26

This doesn't make sense... The child is in hospital, she's being looked after? Why do you need to get childcare?

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