Do you expect nanny to let you know they are not coming in?

[Herewegoagain84]

Just looking for opinions as I’m not sure whether I should raise this with our nanny. She’s usually fairly reliable, however she has been off sick the entire of this week (can’t begrudge that / it happens, though it does seem a long time!). She messaged last Sunday saying she wouldn’t be in on Monday - totally fine. I had to ask on Tuesday if she was coming and she said she planned to be back Wednesday. No show Wednesday and heard nothing after that. I followed up today after she didn’t show again, mostly because I was a concerned she was ok. This evening I’ve had an incredibly stroppy message basically saying “I told you I was ill at the beginning of the week”. Should I not have expected to hear from her again? If she lets me know, I can plan cover / what to do with work etc, and I didn’t expect her to be on an unlimited time off until I was notified if that makes sense? I would have hoped for better communication but perhaps I’m wrong. Any thoughts whether to raise this on her return welcome!

Not being clear on these things is a recipe for frustration all round.

She thinks she told you. You were assuming you’d get told every day.

Unless the contract specifies something, neither of you have done anything wrong. If she’s feeling awful and thinks she’s communicated suitably then it will be frustrating to get hassled.

You’ve read her message as rude. A lot of the time one persons ‘brief’ is another’s ‘rude’.

Sensible way forward would seem to be clarifying expectations going forward and drawing a line under this one, if necessary to keep a positive relationship with a ‘sorry you felt ….. Let’s avoid any crossed wires in future by agreeing that it’ll be a daily text unless a fixed time off has already been communicated’

People do lose their jobs for ‘no call no showing’ and I’d definitely consider that:

Yeah…nah. That’s not how the real world works.

your employer needs to make arrangements in your absence…each day. As others have said, unless they’ve been advised for a set period (xxx date to yyy date) or the number of days (sick note for 3 days rest) you need to advise your employer daily. In the case of the OP, she’s not a mind reader and needs to make alternate arrangements - time off work herself, emergency care etc

As I said most nannies work through a cold. Unless it was flu. But she didn’t say that

but 5 days off for a cold is extreme

think my contract said along the lines if ill I would let them know 7am that morning - did 745/630

I agree with this.

However, I don't think you'll actually need to fire her as I strongly suspect she's found another job!

If you don’t have a sickness policy in your contract of employment with her you’ve really fucked up to be honest.

@Herewegoagain84 unfortunately yes. We had a standard contract that said sick was paid statutory. Wanting to be fair I paid usual contract rate initially. It was a slippery slope and tbh we were gearing up to being sick on average min 1 week per month. In the end I couldn't justify it and let her go after 8 months. The straw that broke the camels back so to speak was increasingly rude communication and directly going against things I asked her to specifically not do.

In your position she should have contacted you daily. As others have said a basic cold doesn't warrant time off and I'd leave the pay at statutory. She'll think twice about doing this again.

With that said, fact she was rude raises alarm bells and I'd be minded to look for someone else. Sounds like she doesn't respect you and I'd worry in your position that it was the start of a slippery slope.

Sorry initially unpaid her usual daily rate (full wage). It was only the last round of sickness in the last month I employed her that it was statutory.

@Herewegoagain84 I hope she's responded to your message by now.

You sound like a very reasonable person and like you've dealt with fairly so far. Do continue to do that and not get caught up in some of the madness of this thread. Nanny threads always go this way! Remember what you know to be fact and what is just mad assumption from people on this thread (she hates her job/she's probably found another job/she won't turn up on Monday/she only had a mild cold and is obviously taking the piss etc. etc.).

She might be an unpleasant layabout who's taking the piss. Or she might have this really bad cold/flu that's going round and be in bed with a blinding headache and fever.

Very few people need a week off for a cold and if they do they are usually very quick to tell people how bad it is. I really wouldn't want her working in my home if she didn't have basic manners. She's dealt with this really badly in a very childish and immature way. I would worry about keeping on with her employment.

I would do whatever it took tbh. I've previously worked as hr, so I know all the ins and outs. I'd embellish to put her immediately into a disciplinary process or make redundant or just get rid if under 2 years employment.

Your contract should say what the expectation is for letting you know re absence.

I've worked as a nanny and would give my employer as much notice as possible if I was not going to be in. The situation you describe sounds like she is unreasonable

Errrm I wouldn’t say I’ve “fucked up”…! Of course there is a sickness policy - but in my view notice of absence is given as an employee out of respect / conscientiousness / decency to any employer regardless of what is spelled out. I agree with feedback suggesting best to terminate (obviously again per terms of the contract) - though it’s always a difficult one because you just have to hope to find a replacement quickly, when both parents work full time!

Oh and she still hasn’t replied to my last message, so that’s made me fairly annoyed too…

I think some people don't realise that a nanny position is different from many other jobs. If the nanny doesn't go in then the parent can't go to work and unless they know about it, they can't get a last minute temporary nanny. I used to work as emergency nanny and was able to meet the children on the Sunday before starting on the Monday for three weeks bur I know for some, they wouldn't want to leave their children with a stranger.

Agree 100% with this. She's acting really horribly. She has also shown herself to be completely unreliable and has a bad attitude. Most caring people would be apologetic .I definitely wouldn't like her looking after my kids.

Which bit of your message required a reply?

Or do you think she’s subservient to you, so the last point should always lie with you.

Be mindful tha you don’t cut off your nose to spite your face and end up with no nanny because you and her happen to think communication should have been done differently but neither of you actually confirmed your expectations.

The part of the message where I asked her whether she would be well enough to be back on Monday! And me requesting if we could have a chat. I don’t in any way think she’s “subservient” to me - I think my expectations on communication are fairly normal going by this thread… Neither asking if she’d be well enough to come in tomorrow or me asking for a meeting should render her to leave - and if that’s the case and she really is that immature, I’m not sure if I’d be too upset if I ended up without a nanny? As it stands, I’m still willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and talk through expectations tomorrow, should she turn up!

If she's well and hasn't replied to your message then that is really poor from her. I think you'd be justified in letting her go (for this, not the original failure to text daily with updates).

Always the chance she's taken a turn for the worse and is incapacitated though. Err on the side of caution until you know. You don't want to be that cunt who fired their nanny while she was in ICU/on her death bed.

That would be the bit you didn’t actually mention in the thread ;)

At which point if you asked rather than ‘hopefully you’ll be better by Monday’ or some similar comment then not replying is pretty poor on her part.