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Do you expect nanny to let you know they are not coming in?

70 replies

Herewegoagain84 · 23/01/2025 19:11

Just looking for opinions as I’m not sure whether I should raise this with our nanny. She’s usually fairly reliable, however she has been off sick the entire of this week (can’t begrudge that / it happens, though it does seem a long time!). She messaged last Sunday saying she wouldn’t be in on Monday - totally fine. I had to ask on Tuesday if she was coming and she said she planned to be back Wednesday. No show Wednesday and heard nothing after that. I followed up today after she didn’t show again, mostly because I was a concerned she was ok. This evening I’ve had an incredibly stroppy message basically saying “I told you I was ill at the beginning of the week”. Should I not have expected to hear from her again? If she lets me know, I can plan cover / what to do with work etc, and I didn’t expect her to be on an unlimited time off until I was notified if that makes sense? I would have hoped for better communication but perhaps I’m wrong. Any thoughts whether to raise this on her return welcome!

OP posts:
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Herewegoagain84 · 23/01/2025 21:50

NuffSaidSam · 23/01/2025 21:38

It just sounds alike you need to be clearer in your contact/discussions.

Out of interest, what did she say when she called in sick the first time? Was it something you could have assumed she'd have been off with for more than a day? From the way she's behaved it sounds like she thought it was obvious she'd be off for a length of time.

She said she had a bad cold, so I guess I assumed a day or two? It’s been a week, so hoping she’s fully recovered by Monday…!

OP posts:
marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 23/01/2025 22:28

Totally unacceptable to be arsey.

CagneyNYPD1 · 23/01/2025 22:36

Herewegoagain84 · 23/01/2025 19:28

Thanks all - it was certainly my assumption that unless you have a sick note for a set period (or she had let me know it was the full week), she should have let me know each day. I would do the same and assumed that was the norm. I’ll have a chat with her, though it’ll be quite awkward as her message was really quite rude…

You are correct re the informing.

You are also correct that her response was rude. How long has she worked for you?

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 23/01/2025 22:46

I'd say I expect a phone call, preferably in the evening to let me know if she's not coming in the following day. No texts, unless she absolutely can't speak.

peachystormy · 23/01/2025 23:28

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 23/01/2025 22:46

I'd say I expect a phone call, preferably in the evening to let me know if she's not coming in the following day. No texts, unless she absolutely can't speak.

I agree with this

NuffSaidSam · 23/01/2025 23:30

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 23/01/2025 22:46

I'd say I expect a phone call, preferably in the evening to let me know if she's not coming in the following day. No texts, unless she absolutely can't speak.

Why a phone call over a text?

fingerbobz · 24/01/2025 09:48

No.

Rude and immature and disrespectful attitude

I wouldn't be happy if an employee didn't communicate about their attendance

My boss would expect an update daily. Unless i made it clear, i would be off for the whole week on Monday but this person said they would be back on Wednesday. She should have been in touch on Tuesday afternoon with an update

How are you supposed to plan your own job?

fingerbobz · 24/01/2025 09:50

No, you dont need a policy for this sort of thing

It's basic manners and professionalism

How hard is it to send a bloody whatsapp. Still unwell. Staying at home again.

MidnightPatrol · 24/01/2025 09:50

This kind of behaviour is usually a good sign they’ve lost interest in the job.

Time to find a new nanny.

Vitriolinsanity · 24/01/2025 19:58

Please say you have a contact with terms for reporting absence.

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/01/2025 20:22

A bad cold - assuming she wants full pay
for the week

hopefully you have sick pay at the decression of the employer

most nannies stagger in and have tv /sofa day

She sounds rude and yes she should let you know daily if coming in

Herewegoagain84 · 24/01/2025 21:22

Yes I thought in this situation I would pay the first week of any employee’s sickness out of good will - but the way she’s behaved I feel it should be at my discretion… I sent a message saying that I’m glad she’s ok but also what our expectations are - and perhaps we can chat on Monday. No reply of course…

OP posts:
Bruisername · 24/01/2025 21:26

Do you have a contract? Do you have a payroll company who could help with one or are you doing payroll yourself?

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/01/2025 21:30

Herewegoagain84 · 24/01/2025 21:22

Yes I thought in this situation I would pay the first week of any employee’s sickness out of good will - but the way she’s behaved I feel it should be at my discretion… I sent a message saying that I’m glad she’s ok but also what our expectations are - and perhaps we can chat on Monday. No reply of course…

If you do a weeks sick pay now she may expect it and be ill often

unless contract says otherwise I would do ssp which kicks in day 3 I think

and isn’t a lot but sounds like she is taking the piss

ToKittyornottoKitty · 24/01/2025 21:59

Herewegoagain84 · 24/01/2025 21:22

Yes I thought in this situation I would pay the first week of any employee’s sickness out of good will - but the way she’s behaved I feel it should be at my discretion… I sent a message saying that I’m glad she’s ok but also what our expectations are - and perhaps we can chat on Monday. No reply of course…

What does your contract say about sick pay? I’d be surprised if she shows up on Monday to be honest

CrotchetyQuaver · 24/01/2025 22:02

You need to create a sickness policy seeing as she's been like she has.

Of course she should have let you know she wasn't turning up on Wednesday!

Herewegoagain84 · 25/01/2025 01:27

The contract says sick pay at our discretion so I guess we could do statutory immediately. I’m not even sure she’ll be back on Monday!!

OP posts:
mummytrex · 25/01/2025 02:15

Her initials are not MF are they?

Herewegoagain84 · 25/01/2025 08:26

mummytrex · 25/01/2025 02:15

Her initials are not MF are they?

Haha no! Have you had a similar experience?

OP posts:
MumChp · 25/01/2025 08:28

I would go with a new nanny. Of it's her responsibility to update you. She has a job.

khaa2091 · 25/01/2025 08:43

My standard contract specifies a time that she needs to notify me by.

The contract specifies SSP only, this was changed at her request to 3 days of full pay.

i would expect further information after being told “a cold” a couple of days ago. Needs at least a discussion and probably a warning, depending on how everything else is going.

ssd · 25/01/2025 08:48

Do you really want to leave your kids on Monday with someone clearly pissed off with her job??

That's what it boils down to.

Time to part ways, learn a lesson and get a new nanny.

Itsalwaysfools · 25/01/2025 09:02

Mynewnameis · 23/01/2025 19:21

I'd be finding a new nanny

Same. First time a nanny spoke to me or text me in any kind of stroppy, rude, petulant way, she'd be looking for a new job.

SheilaFentiman · 25/01/2025 09:09

Itsalwaysfools · 25/01/2025 09:02

Same. First time a nanny spoke to me or text me in any kind of stroppy, rude, petulant way, she'd be looking for a new job.

How would that accord with employment law about giving people warnings? The nanny has been rude, but not “gross misconduct” rude, more abrupt/high handed.

HoppityBun · 25/01/2025 09:14

I would say to her that she told you to expect her on Wednesday and she gave you no update to change that. In view of that lack of communication and the rudeness of her response you feel unable to continue with her engagement to look after your children.