Do you expect nanny to let you know they are not coming in?

[Herewegoagain84]

Just looking for opinions as I’m not sure whether I should raise this with our nanny. She’s usually fairly reliable, however she has been off sick the entire of this week (can’t begrudge that / it happens, though it does seem a long time!). She messaged last Sunday saying she wouldn’t be in on Monday - totally fine. I had to ask on Tuesday if she was coming and she said she planned to be back Wednesday. No show Wednesday and heard nothing after that. I followed up today after she didn’t show again, mostly because I was a concerned she was ok. This evening I’ve had an incredibly stroppy message basically saying “I told you I was ill at the beginning of the week”. Should I not have expected to hear from her again? If she lets me know, I can plan cover / what to do with work etc, and I didn’t expect her to be on an unlimited time off until I was notified if that makes sense? I would have hoped for better communication but perhaps I’m wrong. Any thoughts whether to raise this on her return welcome!

She needs to let you know each day unless she has said, "I will be off all week" or "I will be away for xxx days".

I agree. You have a duty of care as her employer she could have been unconscious or dead

Yep you're right
And agree with PP

Has she never had a job before? Unless she told you what she had and it’s something that clearly lasts for several days she should have informed you every day.

I think if she's told you she's ill then you should assume she's ill until told otherwise.

If she said she'd be back on Wednesday I would expect her to let you know Tuesday evening that she's still ill and won't be in (because you were expecting her).

It seems like you don't have a clear policy in your contract so she thought one thing/you thought another. Just make it super clear what you need for next time.

I do think if you're really ill in bed, you don't want your boss messaging each day to see if you're still ill though. It's not a great look.

I'd expect to be kept up to date. Especially when she'd said she would be back Wednesday.
When she's back explain that you understand sickness isn't avoidable but that you need to be kept up to date so you can arrange cover, so in future can she let you know as soon as she knows she won't be in for a day, whether that's telling you she will be off for eg 3 days, or keeping you up to date during the week if it's an illness where she isn't sure how long it will last.

Of course she should text you each day. That is absolutely ridiculous. WTAF.

I'd be finding a new nanny

Definitely not unreasonable to expect her to tell you at the start of each day if she is off sick of not. This is standard practice in all workplaces (if she was working in a nursery for example she’d need to do this). Unless she has a sick note / been signed off for a set amount of time this is a really unprofessional response from her. Please do raise it with her!! Xxx

Of course she should let you know!

you should have a sickness policy in your contract regarding how much sick pay, when it goes into statutory sick pay, informing you and when she needs to provide a doctors note

i had a good enough relationship with my nanny that i never asked for a dr note and always paid her in full - but this was because she was always honest with me and kept me informed and at no point did I ever worry she was taking the piss

Thanks all - it was certainly my assumption that unless you have a sick note for a set period (or she had let me know it was the full week), she should have let me know each day. I would do the same and assumed that was the norm. I’ll have a chat with her, though it’ll be quite awkward as her message was really quite rude…

If you can point to your contract that will make it easier.

it’s hard because whilst an employee, they are also caring for your kids and you don’t want to sour relations because at that point you are going to have to look for someone else

In every job I've known it is the responsibility of the employee to let the employer know every day'

It's nit supposed to be some sort of guessing game.

Especially when the employees presence or not deeply affects the employer.

OP if she responds rudely then you need to pull her up. Tell her it is the responsibility of an employee to let you know every day. Not leave you guessing.
And it is completely inappropriate to leave you in a position of having contact her.

And her following rudeness is totally unacceptable

Yeah this

The default is daily notice, provided as early as possible.

in an emergency, obviously have grace that she may not be able to update you in a timely fashion.

for a long-term or serious illness, she could specify explicitly that she will be out at least a certain number of days.

i would put the details in your contract and employee handbook if you use one.

It doesn’t need to be awkward, she was rude not you. Just be factual about it and your expectations going forward

Really? Every job I’ve had you have to phone every day to say you’re still sick. Unless signed off for a period of time.

That is outrageous. Clearly she's not truly ill. I used to be a nanny and I took one day off sick that whole time. You just don't do it unless you really have to and then you communicate.

In any employment its normally very clear on the contract, for example mine states must message manager by 9am daily. I dont have to physically speak to my manager, but they do need to know whether they are covering my work. From there it's 7 days self certified (including weekends and Bank Holidays regardless of what days you actually work. Then, if issued with a 'fit note' I'd expect my employer to leave me alone during the specified dates, though they will often send a 'how are you feeling' type message. Unfortunately the currently flu type virus doing the rounds is flooring a lot of people (I haven't taken sick leave for over 10 yrs and was off for 5 weeks!) but she has no reason to get rude or stroppy if she's failed to keep you up to date in the first few days (particularly when working with children and you need to know what you're covering)

She needs to let you know everyday unless she has let you know for a block of days. If she has symptoms that clearly won't go in a 24 hours, or that she needs to leave time after like D&V, it's fine to ring on Monday and say "Sorry I've a really high fever, think I'll be out until at least Thursday" then fine if the next contact is Wed eve or Thurs am, but if she's not specifically said that, it needs to be every night or morning.

This is the point - the guessing game element. Say I had made the assumption she would still be off and I arranged cover, and then she showed up? Nanny absence is really difficult in the first place let alone not quite being sure what I can or can’t do about it 😬

Of course she needs to let you know daily, unless one of the communications was that she is in hospital and will be off until further notice, and even then I'd expect some updates.

I agree you should have a policy regarding this in her contract, I'd expect that from all employment contracts.

I've been very unwell this week, I messaged my boss daily to let him know. TBH it doesn't really matter whether I'm there or not for a week and I'll catch up.

But a nanny is absolutely essential to their employer.

if she knows when she will definitely be back then once she has told you that, I wouldn't expect to hear again unless she needed longer off. It would be a good idea (and polite) for her to confirm her return the day before though. If she's not sure, then I would expect to hear daily until she was sure. Basically its like any other employer, you are entitled to know what is going on!

It just sounds alike you need to be clearer in your contact/discussions.

Out of interest, what did she say when she called in sick the first time? Was it something you could have assumed she'd have been off with for more than a day? From the way she's behaved it sounds like she thought it was obvious she'd be off for a length of time.