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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

How to judge a CM starting out?

28 replies

lazyhen · 30/04/2008 18:52

Hi all - in my continuing quest to find childcare for when I return to work I have been calling lots of CMs on Childcarelink website. I called one lady who I'm going to visit who is starting out at a childminder (her webpage says she has 20 years childcare experience - not sure what in)

How do I tell if she's any good if there are no other children there yet???

This must happen alot as people qualify I suppose?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

justaboutwaiting · 30/04/2008 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

llareggub · 30/04/2008 19:17

The CM that cares for my son had just started out. I spent time talking to her about her views on childcare. Her children were also there and I could tell a lot about her from the way that they interacted with me and each other.

They seemed like lovely, caring children and I was happy for my son to spend time there.

References are all well and good but no one is going to give you the name of a referee who is likely to give a bad reference, are they? Trust your gut instinct, it is usually correct.

I don't care for Ofsted reports, either.

nannynick · 30/04/2008 19:23

Go with your gut.
When you visit, you will get a quick impression of the place - for example, it may be very child friendly, or the complete opposite! Have a general chat and see if your views regarding various things matches - some may like messy place for example, some may want to get out and about exploring the neighbourhood. Think about any issues you have had to deal with recently and see if the CM would have dealt with them in a similar way - perhaps things such as a child refusing to do/wear something, children fighting, food habits etc.

indiemummy · 30/04/2008 19:41

hi lazyhen, i just hired a cm who was just starting out. like the others have said i just watched how she reacted with my child and with her own (older) children, saw what her house was like, listened to what she had to say, and then went back again with my partner to see what he thought and to see how i felt on meeting her again.

i preferred her attitude to that of the other cms i visited, all of whom had many years' experience and were looking after children when i went to see them. good luck!

Original poster

lazyhen · 30/04/2008 20:38

Oh this is SO hard! I think gut instinct counts for alot but is anybody ever good enough to care for out pfbs???

OP posts:

allthatglisters · 01/05/2008 10:13

Agree with what others say about gut feelings - if you like her and the way she has the place. If you start with her be prepared for her to change her mind a bit about arrangements for fees, holidays etc as it takes a few years to get a good system in place that suits everyone. There are some things you can do like giving her feedback if you're pleased with things, and be willing to discuss any problems which may arise.

southernbelle77 · 01/05/2008 17:33

When I was starting out as a cm I was really worried about how would I get any work.

The first ever parent I saw was really lovely. She bought her dc with her and I guess she felt happy with the way I interacted as she asked me there and then to do it. I had no other children I was minding and I think my dd was at her grandparents so she had nothing to go with apart from the way I was with her and with her dc.

I was so nervous about it but now I'm established it is easier.

I'm sure it is gut instinct a lot. Plus you will have settling in sessions (most cm's that I know of will not charge for these) and you will hopefully get more indication from that too.

good luck

Original poster

lazyhen · 01/05/2008 23:05

Well I had a tough visit. Went with DH and DD. House was really dirty - not nice 'toys out' kind of mess but grimy

As soon as I walked in I knew we wouldn't use her but went through the motions. I am suprised OFSTED allowed it as it was quite hazardous with uncovered boxes of junk everywhere. I asked about sleeping arrangements and she hadn't decided where the travel cot would be put yet

I feel really about it - not sure why but just couldn't believe the place was such a tip. I'd tidy up for any visitors but especially for potential clients. No way would I let DDs bottles be made up in the kitchen. Eugh. I could go on. One more to see tomorrow but not looking promising!

OP posts:

vInTaGeVioLeT · 01/05/2008 23:37

oh dear - that sounds awful
hope tomorrows is better

southernbelle77 · 02/05/2008 06:21

Oh my goodness, how horrible. It must have been awful for you.

I hope tomorrow is much better. Most childminders are much better than that so please don't be put off altogether.

Where are you? You never know, maybe a cm on MN might be near you

Good luck

Original poster

lazyhen · 02/05/2008 18:21

Right if anyone is still interested in my witterings....

I meant to say that todays visit was with the lady starting out with 20 years exp. in a nursery. Yesterdays visits were to established CMs.

So - we both really liked CM today. Grown up children, grandchildren... lots of age appropriate toys, paperwork and training all looked good. However my reservations are...

The house smelled of stale smoke. I politely asked whether anyone smoked and she said that her grown up daughter (doesn't live with them) does smoke but outside. She was present at the visit. She said her policy document actually stated that there was no smoking on the premises. Would this bother anyone else?
No garden space at the moment. The activities and trips include days outside each day though. Bearing in mind this is for only 2 days per week maybe not a problem, but perhaps when older?
She was obese (I know I'm sorry...) but I couldn't help wondering whether she'd be fit enough to run round after little ones.

OK so completely judgemental and un-pc but please tell me what you think. My gut feeling was that she really loved children and that we'd be able to trust her which has to be the most important thing I think. Please come and tell it like it is ladies!

OP posts:

vInTaGeVioLeT · 02/05/2008 18:52

yes the smoking smell would bother me - my mum's a smoker and i hate the smell of it - i'm an ex-smoker of 6/7yrs

i wouldn't be worried about lack of garden - so long as the children do go out everyday.

not sure about this one - i'm overweight[no where near obese] and i know that when i'm bigger i get tired out quicker and minding toddlers is very tiring.

i'd say trust your gut feeling - did you like her? was her house upto your expected/required standards? I think you just know when the c/m is right for you

HTH

Original poster

lazyhen · 02/05/2008 19:02

Yes - I did like her. Her house was small but she would only have a max of 3 children in there so it wouldn't be too crowded. There was alot that impressed me but just had niggling doubts.

As for the smoking - stale smoke doesn't smell nice but it isn't harmful so maybe that wouldn't really be an issue.

OP posts:

vInTaGeVioLeT · 02/05/2008 19:09

why not ask for a couple of trial sessions and see how you get on?
i like older grandparent age c/m's myself. I know a couple and they are great - down-to-earth no-nonsense but loving to the kids.

Original poster

lazyhen · 02/05/2008 19:12

Should I expect to pay for trial/settling in sessions?

OP posts:

PotPourri · 02/05/2008 19:22

Yes, ask for a couple of trial sessions, then you can see what you think. The stale smoke would definately bother me, I have to say - you probably need to talk to her about that to make sure she understands that it bothers you. The garden - depends whether you have a garden. I don't so that was really important for me. But if I knew they could play in their own garden when at home, I wouldn't have been as bothered. But having said that, it has become clear since then that my little girls would like to live outside!

My CM is big, but that doesn't bother me. TBH, didn't really occur to me. Other than the proper cuddly side. She gives the kids really good cuddles. Ask about snacks also (if she is providing - meals too if she is doing that), you want to make sure it will be health enough for your liking.

Overall though, other than the smoke which I would make really clear, it sounds like your gut instinct says try it and see....

PotPourri · 02/05/2008 19:22

Trial is usually free I believe

Original poster

lazyhen · 02/05/2008 19:44

Well we also have a tiny garden but we're a very 'outdoorsy' family with a dog and granparents with huge gardens so maybe she wouldn't really miss out.

She volunteered info about snacks and it was fruit, breadsticks and raisins and she categorically said no biscuits. (For when she's older. DD isn't weaned yet!) She'll do a menu 3 weeks in advance which I thought would be really helpful.

I think my gut (which is also a bit on the big side ) is saying to try it.

Although how on earth would I know if DDs OK as she's still only such a young baby (15 weeks) at the moment.

OP posts:

ThePrisoner · 02/05/2008 19:57

Most of the CMs I know do not offer free trial sessions. If I look after a child without a parent being present, I charge. If a parent stays as well, I don't charge and we even drink coffee!

BoysAreLikeDogs · 02/05/2008 20:03

Might take a bit of time for your baby to settle in and bond with the CM, though IME the younger babies settle better, before 'separation anxiety' kicks in perhaps?

I give free settling in, usually start with an hour for Mummy to pop to the supermarket, progress to 2 then 4 hours. Some Cms charge, some don't.

Be prepared for your baby to cry when you leave, perfectly normal though heartbreaking for you to hear. The CM will have strategies for soothing

HTH

chankins · 02/05/2008 20:10

She sounds nice, but are you seeing any others ? I always advise parents to see as many cms as they can, to get a broad view of how they all operate, and what they offer.
Most I know offer free trial sessions. It is as important for the cm as it is for the parent and the child. You all need to know what to expect.
Good luck ! I always feel sorry for the parents at this stage, must be very hard leaving lo with someone.

vInTaGeVioLeT · 02/05/2008 21:09

i don't do free settling in sessions -
i think you should pay !!!

i doubt people would give a new job their time for a free trial - so why should we? If parent stayed i'd still charge too.

god i sound really mean on this thread

i'm nice - honest!!

PotPourri · 02/05/2008 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bonkerz · 02/05/2008 22:23

can i just point out that im morbidly obese and childminded for 3 years for 3 toddlers under 5. I took the children out EVERY day to toddler groups and parks and ran around after them no prblem. They were never in danger becasue im fat. i also ONLY ever gave healthy food to my mindees, if anything being morbidly obese myself i made darn sure my children and my mindees ate and still eat well. Please dont judge or rule out a childminder becasue of their size!

mogs0 · 02/05/2008 23:10

I used to childmind in a small 2nd floor 2 bed flat with no garden. We went out every day to parks, soft play etc.

Not sure what size/weight you have to be to be obese but I'm a size 18 and walk, on average, 4 miles a day taking ds to school and am more than capable of running around after 3 small children.

Also, I had 10 years childcare experience when I registered as a cm having been a nanny since I was 17.

Was her childcare exp from being a mother?

I have never offered a free trial or, come to think of it, have never heard of such a thing either but every cm works differently.

Good luck, I hope you find someone perfect for your dd!!

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