Potty training and childminders - what’s normal?

[Bounty9]

DD is 2y 5m and we have been potty training for 2 weeks now and it’s going really well. She is out of nappies at home and when we go out, she will ask to use the potty when she needs to go and we have a carry potty which is great. She’s still wearing pull ups for naps and sleep.

However the childminder said she wants to keep her in nappies at her house for a bit longer.. but I don’t know what more we can do. When she comes home from the childminders we have a day after where she says she wants to wee in her nappy and I have to explain she only wears them at her house, not at home. The childminders reasoning is that she doesn’t have the time to be clearing up accidents, with 3 other children, but we haven’t had an accident (bar one where she couldn’t get her trousers off quick enough).

Is this usual practice? The childminder has a carry potty and apparently encourages her to go on it but she doesn’t use it at her house, I think probably because she’s wearing a nappy? She’s only there 2 days a week so it’s not a massive issue, but I feel like we’re taking steps backwards. Is it fair to say in January I would like her to be in underwear there, and if there’s an influx of accidents we can reconsider?

Cm is being lazy

You have started pt and done the hard work as such

It's not like you took dd to cm On day 1 and said pt her

Is she a good cm in Other aspects as this would make me want to find a new one

DD is really happy there, and she will be moving to pre-school in April so she won’t be there for too much longer anyway..

CM has another toddler potty training at the moment so I feel like she wants us to wait until the other one is done.. but I’m not sure that’s really fair. But then I’m not a CM and have no idea how these things work 😂

If you’re not willing to deal with the odd accident then you have no business working with young kids. A policy of say 3 accidents in a day and it’s back into a nappy is not unheard of for nurseries, if the CM had a similar policy I’d understand but she’s not even willing to let DD try even though she pretty much sounds fully trained at home. I’d absolutely insist she goes in underwear from the next time she’s there, not Jan and be very clear that she’s not to put a nappy on her. And I’d get looking for an alternative provision ASAP because this just indicates lazy, crap, can’t be bothered, not invested in the child’s personal development - and none of those are traits you want in a caregiver. 2.5 would be an ideal time to move to preschool and have more interaction with her own age group as opposed to a mixed age small setting, so I’d see if you can find a good one then give notice.

X posted. Excellent she’s moving to preschool! Could you by chance move it up so she starts sooner?

Thank you @InTheRainOnATrain! Unfortunately the preschool she’s going to (which is an ofsted outstanding and we are really excited to send her to!) doesn’t take them until 2y 9m, so April is the earliest.

I do get that impression.. we moved her out of nursery because she wasn’t thriving there at all and thought a home environment would be much better for her, and it really has been for the last 6 months but she’s definitely ready to move on now!

So she has a child there who is being pt but won't do yours

Lazy

My kids went to nursery and w basically turned up one day with them in pants / pull ups / whatever (can’t remember now!) and said “we are potty training him / her” and handed over many spare clothes. Nursery said “how exciting! What a big girl / boy!”

I know ds was potty training at the same time as his best mate as he used to inform me that “me and Sam like to go on our potties together”.

Send her in pants with a pull up over it or some traditional training pants.
Is your daughter asking to go at home or are you sitting her?

As a former child minder, and parent, I'd suggest sending in an extra potty, spare clothes and tell them she is in training pants now, so you won't be going back and forth as it is confusing band sending mixed messages.
If there are an increase in accidents, it can be addressed, but she should be given the support to keep trying her best, with lots of offered opportunities to potty throughout the day

Jeez it makes things easier not harder if there's another one already potty training
🙄

I think you tell her that next week she's coming in knickers and she's doing so well at home but she's getting confused by the inconsistency. If she has more than 3 accidents you're fine with her going into pull ups not not nappies.

@jannier at home she will just go as she has a potty downstairs and upstairs, so she will just pull her trousers down and go without us saying anything when she needs it. When we are out she will either ask to go, or if she’s in the middle of something like soft play, we will say ok in 10 mins we’re going to sit on the potty.. and she will usually go then.

I think the CM is doubting this because she’s not using the potty at her house but then I think it’s because she’s in nappies, so she doesn’t think to..

Thanks everyone, much appreciated! You’ve given me the boost I needed 😂 I’m going to just say from next week, I want her to at least try in underwear and if there’s lots of accidents we can address it.

Compromise with pants under a pull up, or training pads in the pants? Or those plastic lined 'training pants'?

I think it's pointless wearing pull ups over knickers

Tell her she has one more week then you won’t be sending nappies. I would toilet train 3 or 4 at once. You just get a couple of potties and they sit together.

If she’s completely dry at home and asking when she needs to go, then I’d take her in pants and see how it goes. If she kept wetting then we’d have another conversation.

I’m going to just say from next week, I want her to at least try in underwear and if there’s lots of accidents we can address it.
Good plan! Hopefully she’ll smash it and prove the childminder wrong!

Childminder here!
I'd be chuffed to bits that you'd done most of the work - it's usually the other way round! Your Childminder should be supporting you and working with you, not against you!

It's worked for me for 30 years stops mess on carpets but child fees wet.

I find @jannier that it confuses them and feel the padding and wee

I've pt many kids over 30yrs in childcare as well

We are all diff

Not my carpet though 😂

The only time it's been an issue is when parents have told the child to wee in them or not changed them straight away as you would with wet pants.

Thanks everyone, we’ve had a 6 day dry streak so she’s off tomorrow in knickers, wish us luck 🤣

Is she asking to go or are you sitting her

Good luck @Bounty9 and yes will she go on her own or needs to be prompted

Which is fine but make sure cm does

I can imagine cm not ans saying to you she wet herself x no of times so needs nappies

She’s asking to go every time now, we haven’t needed to prompt her in a few days. The other day she told us she needed a wee in the car and we had to wait a few mins to pull over and she held it until we could get her on the potty so I feel like she’s ready.

Sounds like the CM is not helping. You’ve made a great start OP! Don’t stop now ❤️