Childcare posted ds biting to all parents

[Nov191919]

Hi

My sons going through a tricky time, not sleeping etc and v cranky as a result. He's 3 1/2 and yesterday bit another kid at childcare. The childcare posted the incident report to the general group with my sons name.

Any advice about what to do here?

@CelesteCunningham exactly. Even when my daughter bit my other daughter the nursery policy was not to specifically tell the parents of the dc who was bitten who did the biting. So sharing in a WhatsApp is appalling!

Yeah but it's very unlikely they did that. Much more likely is that they set the wrong permission in the app, which is a very understandable mistake for someone to make in a room with 20 three year olds.

Sounds a bit over the top. What exactly did they think was going to happen? Kids can be quite grubby at times but what A&E has time for this nonsense nowadays?

If there is an incident there should be two incident forms one for the biter and one for the victim…. Neither should have the other child’s name or even gender on it so this nursery are massively at fault here.

The minor Injuries unit that administered the tetanus and ABs…….

It’s not acceptable, it’s a GDPR breach

to the posters saying just tell him to stop biting- the child is 3. He’s not just going to go oh ok mum and stop. Many 3 year olds go through this phase (mine did too) and a lot of the time it’s frustration and inability to express it. Because they’re 3. Of course the parents and nursery will have consequences for biting but it still can take some time for the phase to pass. I’m not saying it’s acceptable to bite but it isn’t like op is encouraging the biting

Id be pissed off. Does it seem to have been a genuine mistake? If so, and they’ve apologised profusely, there’s not much more to do (you can report them for the GDPR breech, they’ll get a slap on the wrist), if you’re otherwise happy with them I don’t think I’d do any more. If they released it purposefully I’d hit the roof.

Bollocks, my 18 month old is a bit bitey if they cannot find my nipple quickly when hungry/thirsty. Just randomly bites at my boob. Twice I have had punctures. Several wee purple marks. I am not impressed when it happens to me. I would be furious if it happened to my child.

Yes, it’s a GDPR breach but really… who cares? They’ll all know it’s your kid anyway. At that age, they’ll go home and tell their parents which kid is biting. There isn’t any harm here, and there won’t be any consequences even if this is reported as a GDPR breach. Literally nothing will come from it.

Point out what they did, remind them to be careful in the future but then let it go and concentrate on your child’s behaviour. Biting at that age is absolutely unacceptable and the kids know it. Your child knows it.

Very well said

Ouch. A few years out from breastfeeding and you do forget the biting! I'm referring to toddler/preschooler bites on each other. Two kids through full-time nursery so plenty of bites and never any broken skin. Often it's through clothes so there's hardly a mark although of course the nursery have to record it. Definitely no need for hospital treatment or tetanus shots

(And as others have said, as soon as we're out the door the DC tells us who it was so the anonymity is only an illusion once the kids can talk.)

No the nursery should not of named your child in the incident report- the report should have stated that ‘Lucy’ was bitten on the upper arm by another child and that’s the only info provided. Of course the child will go home and tell their parents who did it.

Children do bite at that age. My nursery tells the parent of the child that’s been bitten that it was “another child” and tells the parent of the biter. They shouldn’t be giving names out. That’s disappointing OP.

A&E is ridiculous for nursery aged children.

There's two incident reports. One to Lucy's parents saying she was bitten by another unnamed child. And one to James's parents saying he bit an unnamed child. They've set the permissions wrong on James's report but not Lucy's.

Only if skin is broken - I get bitten on average once a week at work and haven't had to go to ED yet...

It's a GDPR breach and they had absolutely no right or need to share the incident report especially with a child's name on it.

If a child has been bitten in their setting, the childcare provider should provide immediate necessary first aid. They should then tell the parent's confidentially what happened and what steps to take next to ensure the health of the child.

They should never share the name of the biter/child because that information is not necessary in treating the injury. Of course kids talk and parents will probably find out but that's not the point.

Imagine if a child who is acting out, biting, hitting etc comes from a traumatic background, have been removed from their birth family and now they are being fostered.
Then a document with their name and their nursery setting on it is floating about on social media.
Birth family may end up being sent it by an unwitting acquaintance and it causes uproar/turning up at the nursery.
Child then needs uprooting again to ensure their safety.

Absolutely unacceptable.

Is everything this black and white to you?

@zaffa this used to happen to ds when he was due an ear infection. I remember posting on here about it and getting similarly bonkers advice - apparently I should have started pointing and saying ‘did you bite that little girl? DID YOU?’ Something about MN and toddlers biting seems to bring out the madness!

WhatsApp is also not a secure of professional way of communicating this type of information.

It should be done via an approved app or good old fashioned accident slip without identifying information on it.

It's fine for unofficial/casual communication between parents or a quick "going to be late dropping X off" but not for professional communication regarding behaviour or development.

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon
You work in a children's home? 😳

I can only hope you're the cleaner or the gardener and have zero contact with any children.

This

Im really laughing at all the 'its a HUGE breach, report them for it'

There are internal processes that have to be completed for a GDPR breach which then gets reported upward depending on what processes they use.

In this case, no harm done, there is no financial implications, no business or personal/health implications, no one is going to fail to get a job or a contract etc.

The breach procedures ask what the outcome is and what the harm is, so the harm is that other parents will know that its your son that might have bitten their child, but they know this anyway if the child has bitten their child, therefore no real breach. The real breach is that other parents whose children havent been bitten, will know that there have been some biting incidents and its your son who did it. They may think badly of this, or they may understand that all children go through a phase. Thats the only outcome of this breach, it isnt anything major. Not ideal, shouldnt have happened, but ultimately its not a major issue.

Yes I wasn’t talking about the one provided to
op but was only referring to the one given to the other parent.

Nothing is black and white in this world. I will be perfectly frank though and say that it is very telling that OP’s biggest concern seems to be GDPR (when in reality no matter how private the nursery keeps things small kids will tell their parents who the perpetrator is anyway) rather than getting to the bottom of her DC’s behavioural problems. If my child was biting I’d be mortified, the immediate focus certainly wouldn’t be on privacy.

I would assume it was a mistakes that it was sent to everyone?
They shouldn’t have named your child though.

But OP's son wasn't named in the report given to the other parents.