Au pair wanted but live in a one bedroom flat :(

[Stardough]

Hi,

so I am soon starting my nursing degree and I am a single parent to a 3yr old girl, she will soon be starting school this September. The issue I have is I am a student single parent and only living in a one bedroom council flat.
is it possible to have a au pair for literally only when I have block placement. I was thinking to convert my living room to a bedroom and give up my room for the au pair. Can this work?

They need to have their own room. I'm not sure how that works if there's no communal area.

That wouldn't be fair on them as they wouldn't be able to leave their bedroom without walking straight in to yours.

Never going to make this work. You're already sharing a bedroom with your daughter. THAT can't go on. Are you on the council housing list - you need a transfer, you can't keep sharing a room with your daughter. You need a two bed home. Your daughter needs her own bedroom. And if you want an au pair, you need THREE BEDROOMS.

Au pairs are not meant to have sole charge of an under 5 for days at a time.

They aren't nannies.

If you got one, you are expected to have them for 6-12 months so no you could not just have them for the block placement.

There are a lot fewer au pairs since Brexit and honestly they are very unlikely to choose you.

Why an au pair? Is it to accommodate shifts?

No, I can’t see that an au pair would work here-that’s not reasonable.

The idea is that an au pair is one of the family, learns the language, gets pocket money and might do light housework or part time childcare. What sort of hours are you thinking you need? The chances of finding someone suitable just for a short block seems very restrictive as well.

No to au pair. Unis generally have good child care/ nurseries attached - my friend used this when she was a student nurse. That and paying for some wrap around seems the best answer. I’ve had au pairs - some time ago but even the best are young, bring some boyfriend drama (ime) and are more a ‘mothers help’ rather than formal childcare.

FYI I have an au pair. I pay her £220/week. She has her own room and the kids are both at school all day. You need a live in nanny (and 2 more bedrooms).
Sorry Op.

What about when you are on night shifts? They will both need to be out of the house to let you sleep in the day, in the living room.. how will you manage this?

Sorry, my post may not have been clear. They would be bridging the gap between nursery finishes (closed at 6pm) and when I finish placement which is 8pm realistically would get back home 9pm

You can’t have you and your daughter both sleeping in the only communal room and have an au pair.

Fair enough, been on council list for 3yrs now so not any time soon with the housing crisis we have especially for the south part of England:(

..... especially if you only need childcare for 3 hours a day anyway!

This is a mad idea

I have tried looking for someone and it’s not been working out. Most ppl want fixed hours per week. I can only pay someone as hoc basis

Could you look at a nursery worker who finishes earlier or a university student to employ to do 6-9pm? Live out.

That sort of role is quite popular here as they can go to lectures in the day then go out after 9pm. Potentially even study whilst your dc is asleep.

I don't think you fully understood how au-pairs work tbh. Which is fine, happens. This is ridiculous set up for 3 hours as pps said.
You would hpuse, feed and pay a person all the time, not just few weeks

Thank you for your kind comment but this is why I am asking and maybe get more supportive responses than the one you have just sent:)

If I could find a university student I would employ them but I haven’t come across anyone. It’s all ppl who want fixed hours every week. I can’t be paying someone when I don’t need them during uni block.

It’s such a shame OP and for sure takes the shine off your exciting new venture.

What else did you have in mind?

I also think you are unlikely to be accepted as a host family.

you can get short term au pairs - usually students who come in their university holiday period for a month or two - but would your block placement be in university holiday period? Someone who is not working and not studying is unlikely to want to pay the costs of travel for such a short period overseas because they won’t get the quid pro quo of a year’s language tuition and immersion in the country.

Then there is the hours. Au pairs in the U.K. work a max of 30 hours per week. Would that be sufficient? Asking someone to work more hours for the pittance au pairs are paid is not on. Again the quid pro quo for not paying much is that you provide free board and lodging to enable them to attend language tuition and learn the language. Would they be free at the time language classes are taking place particularly if you are on changing shift patterns?

Then there is the experience element. Most au pairs are very young. Usually on a gap year before or after university or working during their university holidays. Your child is at quite a challenging age - would you be comfortable a young adult with possibly limited English could adequately look after her?

And then there is the accommodation - there is a shortage of au pairs so they can pick and choose. So the families which are popular live in desirable locations and offer a nice room. You will be asked to send details and photos of your accommodation to the agency organising the placement and it doesn’t sound like your set up would work. You would have to completely clear your room of clothes and personal items for the au pair - you couldn’t walk in and out of her room to get clothes from your wardrobe - and she probably wouldn’t be thrilled if the set up of your house is that she has to walk through your sleeping area to access the front door/kitchen/bathroom.

I wouldn’t put all your eggs in this basket to be honest. Basically if your house isn’t set up for you to consider taking in a lodger, it’s also not suitable to employ an au pair.

Have you asked at the nursery if anyone is willing to do it?

We had a lovely lady at our nursery who did ad hoc baby sitting on weekend to help top up her salary

Night shifts I have sorted. Just the day shifts :(

Your best bet is finding a couple regular babysitters. Lots of nannies have a main job then ad hoc with babysitting. You could try the website childcare.co.uk