Au pair wanted but live in a one bedroom flat :(

[Stardough]

Hi,

so I am soon starting my nursing degree and I am a single parent to a 3yr old girl, she will soon be starting school this September. The issue I have is I am a student single parent and only living in a one bedroom council flat.
is it possible to have a au pair for literally only when I have block placement. I was thinking to convert my living room to a bedroom and give up my room for the au pair. Can this work?

It might be a good idea to speak to your university course team or personal tutor. This must crop up all the time and they may be able to point you in the direction someone who can help.

while on placement you will work a variety of shifts which won’t be the same each week.

With the 12 hour shifts and start time of 7am, do nurseries open that early?

Honestly, I don’t know how people do the training with children, but they do. I think that they have really good robust supportive family networks.
Good luck OP.

Would you need them to collect your DD from nursery and bring home, dinner, bed etc?

You might need to offer a retainer plus paid hours for the days you actually need. How many days/weeks do you think you'll be needing cover?

Who’s doing the night shifts?

It’s all ppl who want fixed hours every week.

Yes, most people won’t want to work 3 hours a day for a short block.

Have you tried Sitters?

Babysitter?

I had this big conversation with the nursery and unfortunately nobody is interested:(

It sounds like you need a network of 3/4 babysitters for this really?

I don't think you'll find anyone who will be available ad hoc for low pay and keeping their time free.

Are you near a university? I really think you would be able to find a uni student that would do this and ad hoc wouldn't be much of an issue for them.
Can you access students either by a university notice board or uni jobs facebok page or something? I think just accessing the right people will find you a solution. Good luck, I admire your determination very much, I know it must not be easy.

What hours are day shifts?

I had friends who were nurses and their shifts were 7-7, day or night. All had husbands with very flexible jobs and grandmas who were local when their kids were little. I can’t imagine how you would do this as a single parent. What plans have you got already?

Can you use a babysitting website like sitters and book people in? Could be different babysitters available at difftkmes, so you don't need to find one person for the lot.

I did sort of this job when i was young.
Someone put an ad in my halls of residence, they paid cash in hand and it was very adhoc, sometimes babysitting, sometimes nanny ill, sometimes the mum was stuck at work. Maybe a note up in your students' union?

It is completely fine for a three-year-old girl to share with their mum. IlThe flat is deemed a two-bed for housing purposes, anyway.

How do other single parents make nursing work? It doesn’t seem a very single parent friendly choice.

Thank you for your comment. I obviously had the flat many years before having my daughter.

You've mistaken 'au pair' for a cheap way of getting a nanny, I'm afraid. An au pair is not what you need or describe.

OP I would ask if you could work early shifts during hospital placements for child care reasons. It’s not as much of an issue for community placements. I would agree as a mentor. It’s not like you’re getting paid!

So you basically want a live in slave at your convenience? Good on you for improving your situation for study but you need to work out something better. Thats really unfair to an Au Pair who may just do this out of desperatation. What is the father doing to contribute? Family? Nursery?

How about looking at agencies? My university aged daughter gets loads of work this way, she can pick and choose to suit her hours/schedule. Might be worth a try? (She needed an up to date DBS and other checks)

You don’t pay them, you obviously supply all food, lodging etc etc, and then you should give them an allowance, last time I looked it was something like 400 a month for a full time live in.

I think you’re getting a bit of a hard time OP. It’s ok to ask questions. Good luck

How is it seemed a 2 bedroom?

My daughter would bite your hand off for this type of arrangement. She works in a school nursery 8:30 - 3:30 and has been doing hospitality (which she hates) as and when through an agency for her savings.

shame you’re not in south wales 😩

Sorry OP , an au pair isn’t the right solution. I think the are going to have to look for a flexible babysitter . If you pay well then someone will be flexible.
It would still be cheaper than an au pair. Nursing is very difficult as a single parent without family that can help. What is your plan in school holidays? A term time only office hours job in nursing is hard to come by. School nurse jobs tend to go experienced nurses.

I wonder whether you need to have a conversation with the head of your course about your options.

Is there a babysitting website in your area? They will be vetted and have references and would be my first call for ad hoc babysitters.

It might be worth booking a babysitter for three hours when you need someone?
The uni student is a good idea - they could go to your flat, feed and put your daughter to bed at 8pm and study for an hour or two until you arrive home? But of course finding someone you can trust is another thing.

I was going to suggest a local Facebook group? I regularly see requests like yours on my local page and they get a number of replies from ppl. Of course reliability light be an issue but you will have to have a few trials beforehand anyway?

You could try putting a note up in your local shop to see if anyone in the area might be interested? There might be a mum who is happy to mind in her own home for a couple of hours? Not ideal long term but it might work?

Who will look after your DD during night shifts?