Am I being unreasonable to think my childminder shouldn't leave my child with her daughter's 17 year old friend?

[Love2dance]

I have a very nice, experienced and flexible childminder. My DS is 14m. CM has a meting at her daughter's school and has told DH she has arranged cover with 17 yr old for 45 minutes. According to our contract we are supposed to be offered an alternative CM in her area if she can't care for him. I appreciate CM wouldn't leave DS with omeone she didn't know but I know little about her and am not happy. What if there's an emergency? Is she first aid trained? Work committments mean we can't take time off. I have not objected in past when CM' daughter covered for short periods as i know her and she is studying child care. I don't want to offend her or upset her but feel i ought to raise it diplomatically if possible, otherwise a precedent may be set.

What do people reckon?

well I think you're over-reacting, what kind of emergency are you expecting to happen in a 45 minute period? Do you really think a 17 year old isn't capable of minding a 14 month old for such a short period?

You do know that the CM course that they go on is rather laughable .. with the exception of the first aid course of course .. it's beaurocratic tosh and an ability to write a, doesn't have to be any good, essay and source it correctly

If it was without your knowledge it would be unreasonable. It wouldn't phase me to be honest .. but then I've got two who are older and one tends to relax with more experience and distance from first babyhood, am trying to wonder how I'd have felt with DS at that age and probably would have been the same as you.

I am a CM and afaik it would not be acceptable with the care commission to do this. I would only arrange cover with a fellow registered CM or on occasion parents have said it's fine for my mum or my DH to provide cover for a short period of time.

This has only happened a few times and only where the mindees parents have known my dh and my mum well. I have also had to get a letter of permission from parents for any cover being used.

HTH

She may be over-reacting but legally we are not allowed to do this Twiglett.

Oh and fwiw i think the majority of the courses are laughable but CP and first aid etc are not.

I said with the exception of First Aid .. the CP one was laughable for anyone with a modicom of experience / common sense I felt

Yes i know you did.

Parents get arsey over all sorts of minor stuff and there's no way i would leave any mindees with my 16.5 ds1 although he reguarly looks after my dd's really well.

Legally we are not allowed to so you just wouldn't would you?

well if not allowed to legally I wouldn't no .. but then I can't bring myself to park on double yellows and I call online delivery companies when they over-deliver

At least she informed your dh but I would not be happy at all.

Lol Twiglett you sound a bit like me.

Love2dance i would ask her if she is allowed under the terms of her registration to have a 17 year old in sloe charge of your ds before letting it happen. If god forbid something did happen (unlikley i know) you might find her insurance is null and void etc.

As a CM who tries always to behave in a professional way i wouldn't do it but i know some CM's think they can do what they like,we are not all like that thankfully!!!

I don't think it's acceptable. You pay for professional care for your child.

Oh gawd, not another bad CM thread! I'm begining to hate the sound of my own voice saying not all CM's are like this!

Wrong, wrong, wrong! If she had an appointment at shcool, she should have either taken your lo with her or arranged alternative care with another CM, not her daughter.

Tell her you're not happy. She shouldn't have even suggested it. Christ, she shouldm't have even thought it and told you that was what was going to happen. You pay her, not her dd and she should have asked what you thought, not told you how it was!

Yet again, I am sorry that a CM has done something that is not acceptable.

Remember tho Maureen the majority of us are great,we only usually hear the bad stuff and it makes it seem we are all crap!!

It really does make me feel crap. No wonder people choose Nurseries over CM's!

Makes me feel the same way

I tend not to comment on most of the cm bashing threads on here because there are people who think nurseries are faultless,but as someone who has done both (worked in nurseries and am a CM) nurseries are not all that shall we say!!

But not going to start moaning. Have a good day,we are off to toddlers(dd and i) don't start work till noon today.

Why do so many CMs jump on threads about one particular issue with one particular CM, though? This thread isn't called 'I hate CMs, they're all evil witches'.

I don't leap on to every thread that mentions journalists and wail 'But most of us are nice people!'...

Your child should always be within sight or sound of the Childminder you have booked to care for your child, unless they have your written permission to drop them at a preschool, creche, club or activity etc at which point the creche/club etc is legally responsible. You might want to remind your childminder that her insurance will not cover her for the 45 mins your child is not in her care. Unless the daughter is sitting outside the meeting room with your child? If the childminder can see them through a window or sits near the door to be within hearing distance then technically not a breach of the registration IMO.

I don't know what the wording is on the NCMA contract is, or if your contract is an NCMA contract but I would not sign a contract that allows your childminder to choose any substitute carer. IMO its the parent's right and responsibility to select any substitute carer and the childminder should do no more than introduce you to other registered childminders who can help out when they are closed.

NCMA recommendations are that children are not handed over to under 18s btw.

The daughter should not be left alone with any minded child unless she has her own registration certificate or it gives permission for this on the Childminder's certificate. Which isn't likely until she's 18.

I hate that we get so little notice of meetings & consultations. I've missed no end of parent's meetings as its not always appropriate for children to be present. For one-to-one consultations I take mindees in with me.

I am answering a thread that I have something to add too. Why is that odd? If I was defending her, then I could understand you thnking that we all stick together, but I am not. The OP wants to know if she is BU. I'm not suggesting that she is against CM's and they should all be shot, I'm supporting her!

It just saddens me to think that so many people have had bad experiences of CM's. Can't see what's wrong with that.

it's not the right thing to do - what if something happened & the untrained babysitter didn't know what to do. She is being paid to look after your child and so she should arrange appointments to fit her working hours. If this is impossible then she should organize another cm to cover this.

I don't think it's right, and CM could get regally bollocked for it, but I think you have to look at the bigger picture.

What will ds be doing in those 45 minutes - sleeping? eating? just playing?
Does he know this person, will they be over earlier in the day to meet him, spend time with him before CM goes?
How many other children are there and what ages?
What childcare experience does the 17year old have?

If you are satisfied with answers to the above, and your questions, and generally happy with CM, I wouldn't make a fuss. OTOH if you feel uneasy, say so and make alternative arrangements between you.

If CM has assumed you'll be ok with it, she's a bit cheeky imo.

I agree with those who've said it's unacceptable and that the insurance will probably be invalid etc.

Sorry MrsMattie but I'm not sure what that comment was all about I personally have come on here purely as a person with an opinion.

i had a mindee a few months back whoes mum refused to take time off when i said i couldnt her her daughter one afternoon due to school meeting..i gave her a number of another cm, to which she asked if i could just'sort it'..shed neevr met this cm before, wasnt interested in doing so and when i dropped her off that day the cm should NOT have been allowed to become reg!..and thats all ill say!..i rang the mum who didnt give two hoots of my concern so i had to leave mindee there...what im saying is if your cm cant look after your LO and cant offer alternative 'legal' care, YOU shuld look for alternative care for this day, either you or partner or if impossible, another temporary cm/crech etc..shee obv hasnt got antoher cm she can recomend, so its now up to YOU to make sure you LO is well looked after ...FWIW, she is totally wrong, but take the bull by the horns and sort care out yourself and tell her in future you dont want anyone who isnt a cm looking after your LO.

I think the only way your CM could 'legally' do this is if you had a private arrangement with said 17 year old but then that's entirely up to you.

Don't do it - if you've got a bad gut instinct then follow it. I wouldn't do it. 14 months is very little and a lot can happen in 45 minutes. Come to another arrangement and explain to CM why this is unacceptable, if she can't see why then ask if she is really as good as you first thought.

This is not a bad CM thread - it's a reality check for a fellow mumsnetter, that's what we're here for to help each other out with a second opinion or personal experience.

yanbu she should have asked not told.