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Crikey - Not sure if nanny is going to appear in the morning

53 replies

Blueskythinker · 17/03/2008 21:37

My DH keeps telling me not to stress, but it will be me who can't go to work, not him.

Our new (live out) Hungarian nanny started with us approx 5 weeks ago. She seems very capable, seems to get on well with the children and told us she was enjoying the job.

She works 2 days a week, and is attending uni on the other days of the week. 13 days ago she was at work on the Tuesday. Everything seemed to be fine. She e-mailed at 11am the next morning to say that she had severe pain with wisdom teeth, had seen a doctor that morning, and because she did not have health insurance, needed to return to Hungary to get this sorted. She said she had flights booked for 2 days time, and would be returning the following weekend (i.e. weekend just past). She is due to work for us tomorrow.

I am not sure if I am being a little hysterical. Something doesn't add up. She didn't seem unwell when I saw her, and she had never mentioned anything to myself, my DH or our cleaner about being in pain. I e-mailed her to say we would try to get something sorted and hoped she would be feeling better soon. I got no reply. I e-mailed last week to ask how she was - still no reply. I phoned her mobile tonight as I reckon she should be back in the UK, but it went straight to answer phone.

Does this seem strange? My DH doesn't really want to discuss it, and says she was probably in hospital and so didn't have access to internet. She is due to arrive at 8.45 tomorrow morning, and I have no idea if she is going to turn up. DH has gone to bed saying no point in worrying about it until tomorrow.

Sorry for rambling. Very stressed.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
PrincessPeaHead · 17/03/2008 21:40

Well I think your DH is right. There IS no point in worrying about it until tomorrow - because there isn't anything you can do tonight and if she turns up in the morning there is no problem

Go to bed, have a nice sleep and see what happens

ingles2 · 17/03/2008 21:41

dh is right bluesky... but I would be stressing too

ingles2 · 17/03/2008 21:42

maybe you should organise a back up plan now, just in case?

controlfreakyagain · 17/03/2008 21:43

.... i dont think you'll be seeing her again.... sorry!

WanderingTrolley · 17/03/2008 21:46

I agree with controlfreaky.

Start making plan B.

peasoup · 17/03/2008 21:46

It sounds suspiciously like you may not see her tomorrow. Can you find a back up plan just in case?

hatwoman · 17/03/2008 21:48

not sure if it's any reassurance but my czech nanny goes back to Czech Republic for anything to do with her teeth. I've also been quite suprised at her willingness to hop on planes (or sometimes coaches) to go back for short periods of time - and her ability to shake off a long journey and be at work bright and early the next day.

also she might have turned her mobile off while abroad as on some tarrifs it costs to receive foreign calls.

and the others are right - there's nothing you can do about it tonight.

Hassled · 17/03/2008 21:48

It does all sound a bit odd and I would be stressing too - but unless there is a back up plan you can get sorted tonight, just go to bed and try to think nice thoughts . Fingers crossed she shows up - and it may well happen.
Would it be a major disaster if you had to take an impromptu few days' leave while you sorted alternative childcare?

jura · 17/03/2008 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blueskythinker · 17/03/2008 21:53

I have standbys for tomorrow (MIL for DD & ex nanny for DS), but feel awful that I literally will not be able to let them know what's happening until the last minute.

I work Tuesdays & Fridays, and have no idea what I am going to do for Friday onwards. It is making me really cross that DH does not see fit to contributing towards any contingency plan [grrrr].

The worst thing is I only returned to work after maternity leave 2 weeks ago, and my flexible working arrangements are to be reviewed after 3 months, so I really feel like I can't allow child-care issues to impact on my work. I also think my returning to work has been quite hard on my DD who is 2.10, and I hate the idea of having to go through the whole recruitment process (for both our sakes!)

OP posts:
llareggub · 17/03/2008 21:57

Then I really think you should force your DH to stay at home if your flexible working is at stake here.

Sorry, I'm sure you already knew that...

Blueskythinker · 17/03/2008 22:02

Jura, my DH earns twice what I do, so it irritates me, but basically his job is more important than mine. He is private sector, and I am public sector, so he always says that I have more flexibility. Sadly, this is not the case, especially as I am trying to squeeze a full-time job into PT hours.

Sounds like our husbands may have the same POV!

OP posts:
jura · 17/03/2008 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

windygalestoday · 17/03/2008 22:11

am i naive to say today you should have left work early to claim sickness tomorrow if worst comes to worst??

i hope everything does work out ok for you tomorrow x

bluejelly · 17/03/2008 22:19

Tell your dh that he has to take tomorrow off, as you have only just got back from mat leave.
Then you will do the next one.

But I have a funny feeling our nanny will be there tomorrow. Like someone else said, my cleaner is always nipping back and forth to poland.

let us know!

blueshoes · 17/03/2008 22:20

bluesky, you are right to lay down contingency plans. I don't have a good feeling about this. When my aupair who was due to start soon stopped replying to my emails and when she did said she was tired (she was on a temporary holiday job and there was a plausible reason) but somehow it did not feel right. I was starting to panic but dh said not to. One week before the start date ... you guessed it. She never turned up.

You do have to rope your dh in from Fri onwards. He can't just swan off and leave you to pick up the pieces.

Hopefully, I am wrong about the nanny.

foronenightonly · 17/03/2008 22:27

what's with all the blue??

AtheneNoctua · 18/03/2008 08:29

You and your DH are both right. He is right that there's nothing you can do about it until she doesn't show up. And you are right that her story and her behaviour do not stack up.

My DH makes considerably more than I do. If I allowed that to be a valid excuse for why his career is more important than mine than I'm sure his career would progress and mine would not -- hence further widening of the gap. I take half, he takes half. He works away so he can't always appear in the house at short notice. But, he can do the ones that involve a bit more planning (like nanny's hols).

Squiffy · 18/03/2008 09:21

Get your DH to throw a sickie. My DH will never admit to his bosses when he has to do childcare, but is quite happy to cite a dose of man-flu every now and then

that is presuming of course that she didn't turn up......

ingles2 · 18/03/2008 09:24

So did she turn up bluesky?

AtheneNoctua · 18/03/2008 09:27

Oh yes, update please. Has she shown up?

AtheneNoctua · 18/03/2008 10:32

tap tap tap...

AtheneNoctua · 18/03/2008 10:33

tap tap tap...

AtheneNoctua · 18/03/2008 10:33

tap tap tap...

KellyKateneedsaholiday · 18/03/2008 10:47

bumpity bump. Hope shes turned up.

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