Crikey - Not sure if nanny is going to appear in the morning

[Blueskythinker]

My DH keeps telling me not to stress, but it will be me who can't go to work, not him.

Our new (live out) Hungarian nanny started with us approx 5 weeks ago. She seems very capable, seems to get on well with the children and told us she was enjoying the job.

She works 2 days a week, and is attending uni on the other days of the week. 13 days ago she was at work on the Tuesday. Everything seemed to be fine. She e-mailed at 11am the next morning to say that she had severe pain with wisdom teeth, had seen a doctor that morning, and because she did not have health insurance, needed to return to Hungary to get this sorted. She said she had flights booked for 2 days time, and would be returning the following weekend (i.e. weekend just past). She is due to work for us tomorrow.

I am not sure if I am being a little hysterical. Something doesn't add up. She didn't seem unwell when I saw her, and she had never mentioned anything to myself, my DH or our cleaner about being in pain. I e-mailed her to say we would try to get something sorted and hoped she would be feeling better soon. I got no reply. I e-mailed last week to ask how she was - still no reply. I phoned her mobile tonight as I reckon she should be back in the UK, but it went straight to answer phone.

Does this seem strange? My DH doesn't really want to discuss it, and says she was probably in hospital and so didn't have access to internet. She is due to arrive at 8.45 tomorrow morning, and I have no idea if she is going to turn up. DH has gone to bed saying no point in worrying about it until tomorrow.

Sorry for rambling. Very stressed.

bumpity bump. Hope shes turned up.

Does not look good. I think bluesky is scrambling around for back up ... hope I am wrong

I actually think this may be asign she did turn up and OP has gone to work. If she was having a crisis she might be here for support. I would be!

It didn't sound propmising, did it?

Let us hope all is okay - whatever happened.

All, sorry to have kept you waiting. I left for work early this morning and left DH to wait for nanny.

Wait for it . . .

She didn't turn up .

To make it worse, my MIL gave DH a really hard time this morning when he dropped DD off, which has sent my stress levels into orbit, because she is our back-up plan.

I have had a rubbish morning at work, haven't been able to concentrate, and burst into tears at work. I have come home for lunch to try to sort something out re childcare.

Have to go, have started crying again and can't see the keyboard to type. . . .

Oh POOR you, childcare collapses are HORRIBLE.

If of interest, my work has an arrangement with a nursery near the office for emergency cover - some workplaces actually keep paid places open, mine doesn't, mine is just a "referral" arrangement so I have to pay - but knowing it is there helps with exactly these situations.

I tell you this BECAUSE the arrangement is NOT publicised at work (my shouting there is by advisement as I feel this is WRONG) - HR will only tell you about it if you ask directly. However, it is not at all an uncommon arrangement for employers to have, so ask yours. Or if your dh works in a higher-employee-benefits sort of world, get him to ask. (It is also lovely, when you are facing a childcare collapse, to have your children close by your work - extra emotional support thing.)

Poor you - can't offer much other than tea and sympathy.
Failed childcare SUCKS!

Oh no. Where are you? Maybe someone on here can help if you tell us roughly where you are.

I am in Belfast.

Have you heard nothing from her at all? Poor you.

Oh. I can't really help there. Sorry.

I phoned her this morning, and her phone went straight to voice-mail again. I have sent an e-mail saying I am concerned I haven't heard from her, and could she let me know what is going on. I doubt I will hear from her, and tbh even if I did, I don't think I could trust her to turn up in the future.

I would be ragin mad if my nanny did this (which she never would). I'd sack her so fast it would leave her spinning.

I hope you owe her lots of money which of course you will not pay.

Have you tried a quick search on nannyjob.co.uk? What about gumtree.com? Do youneed live out or could you manage live-in?

Jeez, she really is a peice of work.

Unfortunately I don't owe her any pay - and I got her off Gumtree! A friend has said she thinks she was only working long enough to pay for her flight home. The thing is, when I think of how she was, she seemed like a really good communicator, and seemed to really enjoy her job.

I am spending the afternoon ringing round childminders.

BST... if you have no family around you that can help there is a company up there in Belfast that have qualified nannies to help cover emergencies.

I know my sister used them for about 3 weeks 'til she had found a childminder.

I won't see her now until the weekend as her & my working hours clash this week but I can ask her the name of them if you want?

MIL didn't exactly help this morning then, did she!!

What age is your ds? Is he school age? I found when my dd got to school age there were more people who I could ask advice off.

I have just rang my local health visitor to get a list of registered childminders for myself too.

If I were nearer I could give you a pull out, but unfortunately I work 3 days week at the minute.

I was meant to post this about 2 hours ago but it didn't connect -

Anything we can do on here? for you and at au pair and MIL.

Wall,
Thank you. The name of the company would be really useful. I have also phoned NICMA and got some names, but no-one seems to be in this afternoon!

My DD is 2.10 and DS 10mnths - they are both so cute, and I hate the idea of just farming them out willy nilly. Might start to well up again.

NICMA are a bit pants tbh.

I'm just off the phone with them about 20 minutes ago.

Seems they may need to update their files as the 2 names they give me no longer childmind!!

But they did tell me that even though the childminders may be registered, if they're not registered with them then it means they don't have insurance! I didn't know that!

At the minute a family friend is helping me out & I give her enough to cover her diesel etc (she objects though) but tbh I want it all official asap.

I hope you have more luck than me...

And as soon as I can, I will ask my sister the name of the company that helped her out.

here

Gumtree have another ad up, though it's dated February... might be worth a try? Unless you've been put off nanny's for good?

just new up

Another nanny, placed yesterday?

Thanks Wall. Hope you get sorted too.

why couldn;t she just tell you ffs. even if she couldn;t do it to your face she could have done it over the phone. send her a guilt- inducing stinging email. explain to her exactly what stress she has put you through. tekll her you hope she never does it to anyone else.

good luck in finding someone else.

How did you get on BST?

Hope you had some luck!

Wall,
I have phoned all the CMs that NICMA gave me, only 1 may have a possible vacancy - she is to let me know tonight. I tried a nanny agency in Bangor who are in the phone book, but weirdly, no answer - I left a message, but have had no word. No joy on the Gumtree ads, and I have posted my own ad on it - only 1 very flakey reply!

I only work 2 days a week, and so I will work Easter Monday & Tuesday next week as my DH is off and can look after the kids.

I think I will advertise in the telegraph next Friday. It is just horrendous! Worst thing, is that my line manager is a bit of a twat, and piles on the stress. Last time I had a problem with childcare a year & half ago (my nanny was on honeymoon, and I needed to work from home one morning) he gave me a complete bollocking. It was only when I printed off the literature on dependants leave for him that he backed down.

Thanks for the support. You were probably only wanting a reply like 'OK', not my full life history!