Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Am I letting them down

29 replies

FHLINonna · 30/11/2023 17:40

I am fortunate to have a lovely relationship with both of my children and their families. However I am really afraid that what I need to try and sort out will change this and I’m really reluctant to say anything. I would be grateful for any kind advise.
When my DIL returned to work I sat down with them both and agreed that I would look after my grandchild for one day a week and they would go to a childminder for 3 days, my son works a 4 day week and I would be free for emergencies, sickness etc.
This started well but my grandchild did not get on well at the childminder. They were unhappy, wouldn’t eat, cried and generally were very unsettled. So after giving it a really good time to settle down, they were losing weight and it was obviously very upsetting for everyone so they took them out of that situation, a decision I was absolutely pleased with.
I stepped up as emergency cover whilst they found another option…..
However that was 10 months ago and I am still looking after them for 4 days a week, 11hours a day, I am exhausted, truly so exhausted I go to bed so early, to get up at 5.30.
We go out and about at least once a week to either, library, museum, soft play, we bake and paint and we love books together.
I want to say, I can’t keep doing this, but I’m scared about the alternative and will I be letting them down.
what will happen to the relationship if I say I can no longer do all these days.
Does anyone have any advice as to how this situation may be addressed without upsetting anyone. Thankyou

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Blondeshavemorefun · 30/11/2023 19:06

They have been taking the piss and prob not even looking for paid childcare

Must have slipped their mind

You need to tell them it's too much for you as she is now older

And you want your life back lol

Helping out the odd day or one day fine

Not 3/4/5 days

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 30/11/2023 19:39

Childcare is difficult to secure in many areas at the moment, you need to tall them NOW to give them time to get something sorted. You’ve been very kind but it’s too big an ask

FHLINonna · 30/11/2023 20:12

Bless you for such a kind response, my grandchild is not old enough for funded childcare and I realise that despite my best endeavour they really do need the interaction a professional kind of childcare could give even if it was just twice a week with me taking and collecting. He is a sweetheart and we have a wonderful bond but I believe our relationship would be even better if I was not so exhausted. They both work incredibly hard as indeed I did but I didn’t live near grandparents so it wasn’t an option for us. Childcare is very expensive isn’t it, which is probably why I have let this go on much too long. I will sort this out, I have too. Thankyou

OP posts:
FHLINonna · 30/11/2023 20:14

She is a he, but thankyou

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread