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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

What is the youngest aupair you have / would have?

35 replies

laura032004 · 04/03/2008 18:59

Starting to think about ap no.2 Doesn't seem two minutes since I was worried about no.1 arriving!

Anyway, I've started to get a few emails, but they've all been from quite young girls (18ish). What's your experience been with younger ap's, or why wouldn't you have one?

I know it's really going to vary from person to person. I would happily leave my two with my 18-year old sister, and left DS1 overnight with her (whilst in labour with DS2) when she was just 16 (and three-quarters!). However, I know much older people, that I would never leave them with.

Wondering if talking to their mum would be an option? However, English is my only language, so unless they spoke English, that would be a no-go anyway.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

laura032004 · 04/03/2008 19:00

Sorry, thread title should have read:

What is the youngest aupair you have had / would have?

OP posts:

marmadukescarlet · 04/03/2008 19:01

I had a 17 yr old Summer AP, Finnish and Fab!

So much better than the 24 yr old French one I've had since.

phraedd · 04/03/2008 19:02

my SIL once had a 17 year old.....she was one of the nicest au pairs my sil ever had!

She had common sense, loved the children and was able to think for herself about which jobs needed doing.

QuintessentialShadow · 04/03/2008 19:07

After my last experience? 21.

BrummieOnTheRun · 04/03/2008 19:44

Even at that age young girls can be irritating as hell. (although so can I, and I'm 35, lol!)

Quattrocento · 04/03/2008 19:52

I think talking to their mothers is a good idea.

Me personally 21 is the youngest I would think of

Original poster

laura032004 · 04/03/2008 20:07

Thanks for those replies. Our current ap is great at housework and with DS1 (20m), but rubbish with DS1 (nearly 4). I'd really prefer somebody that was great with the kids, so I could have a bit more free time to get things done.

OP posts:

eleusis · 04/03/2008 20:36

I think 17 for an au pair is fine. Assuming there are no long stretches of sole charge -- just a few hours of b-sitting here and there.

In fact I would expect a twenty something to turn her nose up at many of theing which would normally go in an au pair job description.

I think personality is much more important than age. Some 15 year olds are more responsible than some 40 year olds.

Looby4 · 04/03/2008 21:06

I've had a mix AP1 was 19, stayed for 2 years, AP2 was 26, stayed for 2 years, AP3 was 35 (!), stayed for 15 months. Have just got (and given notice to AP4) who is 23 but acts like 15 - a querrilous teenager. Now hoping for an older one again! I have 4 kids aged 7 and under and need to leave in sole charge of 3 of them when I go to after-school activity/ DRs appointment etc. so try and get older for that reason. I think it is a lottery!

Original poster

laura032004 · 04/03/2008 21:24

No real sole-charge involved. The odd 15 minutes when dropping DS1 to pre-school, or similar, but that's it. Occasional babysitting, but I leave them both asleep, and they tend to stay that way until morning. {touching wood emoticon }

OP posts:

Original poster

laura032004 · 04/03/2008 21:25

Looby4 - sounds like you've had some good ap's What's gone wrong with ap4?

OP posts:

ingles2 · 05/03/2008 10:11

21 laura... but only cos of the insurance for driving!

BrummieOnTheRun · 05/03/2008 10:28

I guess the appropriate age of an au pair depends on whether you're happy to 'mother' the au pair as well as your children.

Lots of families are, but I felt that would create more work for me, not less.

Having said that, I saw the resumes of lots of au pairs with so little life experience that even at 21 they were like teenagers.

You can probably over think these things. I thought I'd got all my boxes ticked (she'd travelled, was older, smart, not fussy with food, no close siblings/boyfriends, blah...), but now wish I'd just focused on someone who absolutely LOVED kids!

Libra · 05/03/2008 12:29

At present we have a 19 year-old who is absolutely fab. Like the OP, I am starting to look for my second and we are again focusing on 19-20 year-olds. I have not contacted any 18 year-olds because I would like them to have at least one year's driving behind them.

Original poster

laura032004 · 05/03/2008 13:27

We're not looking for a driving ap, so I guess maybe age isn't so important in that respect?

OP posts:

MrsRecycle · 05/03/2008 13:43

Brummie - I agree. Current AP has given notice (only been with us three weeks in total) as she doesn't get on with my kids. Definitely going to focus on this aspect for her replacement. I went for an older one, one who was smart, not fussy, no byfr's (blah...) as well.

I've had an 16 yr old, 18 yr old, an 19yr old, a 22 yr old and a 25 yr old and the most responsible one of all was the 18 yr old. But it was definitely a personality thing and we don't need a driver.

eleusis · 05/03/2008 13:56

Oh no, MrsR. When did this happen?

MrsRecycle · 05/03/2008 13:59

yesterday. She's leaving at the beginning of April. This time dh is doing the selection so he can see how hard it is (and he can't blame me when she decides to faint on us due to not eating).

eleusis · 05/03/2008 14:06

But will DH have to manage her when it goes pear shaped? I hire them because it is I who has to live with the consequences. DH would just check that she didn't talk too much and she didn't have an accent that he found annoying. Not exactly traits on my list of criteria.

MrsRecycle · 05/03/2008 14:11

that's why he's selecting from the questions and not the pictures, otherwise he'd go for the big boob ones lol

He is actually managing her at the moment (don't have the patience) and doing a very good job in the circumstances. It was hilarious, he rang AP up and asked her to pick ds up from CM at school and told AP to bring buggy and told CM that he thought he had got through to her. She turned up buggyless lol. He did it again the next day and reiterated it and told CM and, yet again, she was buggyless.

eleusis · 05/03/2008 14:28

It is so annoying to have chase them time and time again for one simple instruction. I know it all too well.

MrsRecycle · 05/03/2008 14:41

even more so when it's in black and white and they can't be bothered to read it...

QuintessentialShadow · 05/03/2008 19:53

I had to let my Norwegian Au Pair go last week. I am now au pair less, have cut my hours, and truly enjoying the time with my toddler. I have so much practical to do in regards to the move, I might as well have him around myself.

The mothering element is so true. My last one was 20, yet she was so dim, could not cook anything more than an omelette, and quite dippy, in the sense she broke an expensive Habitat lamp, Crystal Vase from Prague, and left behind the McLaren Cosy Toe, kept forgetting her Oyster Card, forgetting to charge her phone, buy credit, and it is not like she was stressed because she had so much to do! I had to constantly remind her things, yet, she would at the same time bite back, "do you think I am stupid?" (actually yes, but I cant tell you that) Never wiping the floor after shower, so wet, or she would use the hand towel, throw it on the floor and leave it there.

In the end, because she knew we were leaving, she was doing less and less, kept oversleeping, did not do her morning duties, and actually the last morning, and the last straw was when I asked her to help with the kids breakfast as she was just sitting there, having eaten her breakfast while I got the kids dressed and ready, and she points to her watch and says "But there is time enough".
Sure time enough for me to do everything I pay her to do prior to leaving without her lifting her pert arse.

I will stop now.

So, in answer to the OP, maybe the age has nothign to do with it, but the maturity and personality of the candidate is Alfa Omega.

Good Luck.

marmadukescarlet · 05/03/2008 19:54

My last one got to the point where I felt it was defiance not forgetful or misunderstanding (similar to buggy problem Mrs R)I don't know how I didn't throttle her.

MrsRecycle · 05/03/2008 21:02

oh no Quint sorry to hear about AP.

This one laughed in my face the other day and I held my patience - no-one has previously ever done this and lived . Why do I have to put up with things just to keep the peace? Yes I could easily throttle her.

Are you sure you want another AP laura ?

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