What do you think of my nanny situation?

[bojangles]

Hi, I posted a month or so ago about our nanny not really helping much around house and after a chat she is now cooking dinner for DC's but despite asking her to help out with washing and bed changing nothing has been done. Now, I can cope with the lack of washing etc as she is currently only emplyed 2 full days per week and my Mum helps out the other days. I am about to return full time so the chores are more of an issue. We pay her around £80 gross per day in the midlands and she brings her own DD.

I don't hink that is a bad salary for what is essentially a nanny share. She takes the children out lots and they do adore her BUT she is quite disorganised and messy. I leave the house spotless in the morning but it is a mess when I get home - toys everywhere and the kitchen is messy. She puts the pots and pans in the dishwasher leaving it 3/4 full but doesn't put it on and she doesn't put any crockery away. This morning I was late as I was hanging out the children's wet clothes on the rack but they are still there dry when I get back. Am I expecting too much? I know it is only 2 days but we chose a nanny because of the extras - do you think she has a good deal or are we asking too much?

She seems to do less than my AP and that is saying something.

You need to be more formal about her responsibilities, give her a contract or a timetable/list stating that she is responsible for XYZ and be very specific. It may take short term micromanagement, but you may get a result...or you may have to look for a new nanny.

She brings her own DD (therefore giving your DCs a smaller share of her attention) and earns (probably) £8 per hour, that doesn't seem at all bad to me.

Make other arrangements. If it is not working, no point flogging a dead horse. Nothing is perfect, but it;s not unreasonable to expect to be happy with the arrangement (i.e. you can live with it)

hmmm, tricky one. I don't employ a nanny but I know that I can't look after my own lo and do chores at the same time and i have only one - I have to wait until the weekend and do everything then. I guess it depends on the age of the children though.

Looking at it in a positive light she is probably (rightly) concentrating on keeping your children safe and occupied - and personally I'd rather come home to a dirty house than kids plumped in front of the telly all day.

Can you pay a cleaner to do a couple of hours a week to help out?

oh god bojangles, i fear for your safety posting a nanny thread on here atm

no, seriously, it does sound like shes just plain ignored your requests, which isnt on really.

i dont know how it works with the part time nanny situation... mine is FT and is rubbish at the housework parts... which is so my fault coz its her first job and i hate being a meany manager. i reckon if she were PT i would expect even less than i get, if only to avoid having to be all boss-like. [wimp]

80 pounds a day sounds like a fair amount to expect her to do her job properly.

i have my house looking a tip by the end of a day alone with the dc, but im not paying myself a wage to keep it tidy!

and i totally see theyoungvisitors point too... which is prob why ultimately i dont get all Strict on her arse; i would rather my dc were happy and loved than my house clean. but then, if my house were a tip and it were down to me to clean it all the time, and it bothered me if it were messy, and i had a job and other demands on my time, id be v annoyed with her for not managing the dc/tidiness as i would hope.

I agree that your nanny is not pulling her weight. No matter how much you are concentrating on the kids, you can find 5 minutes to fold washing/put dishwasher on. I have two kids and whilst I don't have time to do a full house clean with them around, I can certainly find time to do small but significant jobs - particularly cleaning up after myself throughout the day. In addition, my AP does a great job of entertaining the kids and keeping the house neat and tidy at the same time when she is working. One of the ways she does this is by encouraging the kids to help tidy their own mess....this might be an angle to use with your nanny? I also agree with Marmadukescarlet that you should put everything in a contract/timetable. I have done this with each AP I have had and (touch wood) it has worked very well. If she has a problem with what she is being asked to do, she can raise it with you immediately upon reading the contract. If she doesn't raise any issues then assume (if signed) all is agreed and you can then pull her up on her failure to do what is stated in contract. Good luck!

As a nanny, I'm on less than £8 per hour Gross, so if your nanny is working a 10 hour day or less, then yes I agree that her salary is not at all bad.

You have asked her to do washing and bed changing, yet she hasn't done it? You are her employer... so what you say goes really. Was she aware of these duties when taking on the job?

3/4 full dishwasher I don't see as being an issue... because at my work that happens, be it me part filling it, or the parents part filling it. We only run the dishwasher when it is full. But... you are the boss... so if you want it run when it is only part-filled, then insist on it.

I don't feel you are asking too much, but you may need to make it very clear as to what you want doing. So if you have left things out to dry, tell her (or put it in the daily diary) that those things need to be put away once dry.

If I were in your shoes, I would be thinking about what my other options were.

It's hard to comment on the rate, not being in your area. Nanny shares do - and should - attract a discount. But what are her qualifications, previous exp? This will also affect the rate...

Cost for us tends to be a big factor (as I imagine it would be for most families, apart from those super rich upper class people with 24 hr nannies, who...DON'T GO THERE HARRIET!)

Would another nanny without a child in your area want £80 net or more? Could you afford? Is the disorganisation going to drive you so crazy it's worth it? I think most nannies and cms manage to tidy up more than your nanny does - and with probably more children around, I don't think your expectations are unreasonable.

How easy is it to recruit another person in your area?

so no answers just some more questions....!

Harriet makes a good point. At the moment you have a nanny... if you did decide that it wasn't working out, then you would be back at stage 1 again, recruiting a new one. Only you know how easy or hard it was to find your current nanny. Is the situation currently getting so bad, that it's worth the hassle of recruiting someone new?

Perhaps have some kind of rota, so that nanny knows when to change the beds for example. Could she do it one day week A, and then you/grandparent or whomever, does it on Week B. Could that work?

What does her contract say she's responsible for? Can you leave her a list in the morning of jobs to do, and then maybe come home a bit early one night to go through with her what she has/hasn't done, if she feels it's too much, what adjustments need to be made etc.

It might come down to just reorganising her priorities regarding childcare/housework balance - maybe dropping a playgroup or allowing the kids more TV time so she can get on with jobs?

If this nanny worked 4 or 5 days a week, I would say she was well and truly out of line a recommend you sit down and have aserious talk and point out her duties (assuming these things are outlined in the contract. However, as she is only there 2 days, you can't really expect her to do everything 5 day nannies do in only 2 days. But, you can certainly expect her to do 2 days worth of it.

This is what I think would be a fair middles ground:

1. She should leave the house at the end of the day the same way she found it at the begining of the day.
2. Perhaps you could put the dishwasher on every night as you go to bed and she could unload it when she arrives in the morning. And throughout the day she can load any dishes she uses into the dishwaser.
3. A weekly load of bedclothes (for the kids) and perhaps you could leave her the ironing to fit into Mon/Tuesday.

I think she'll struggle to keep up with the laundry in two days of work really. Maybe you could take on the washing and get her to fold, iron, and put them away?

I think you probably need to look at what she is doing now, what you want her to do, and what you are willing to live with. Make a list of what you think are her fair duties. Sit down with her for a review. And if she doesn't rise to at least your bare minimum, then you'll have to give her a written warning. And she still doesn't rise to the occassion, then you can let her go.

Oh, and £8 gross for a nanny share in the midlands sounds pretty generaous to me.

HI

Thanks to all for your comments. I need to be clearer with her but wanted to check what was reasonable. I don't expect her to do all of the washing but you don't have to look far in our house to find washing, drying, ironing etc and the odd load is I think entirely reasonable. We had a vague temp contract as it was initally only for 3 months as I was only working as a locum. I am now permanent and about to work full time. A new contract will be required in any event and I will obviously be a lot more specific. She is a very experienced nanny 10 years+ and has returned to nannying since having her DD.

My main issue is the mess as the house as we come home to quite a messy house. I knwo DH and I are neat freaks but I don't expect to come home to a kitchen that needs tidying. I suspect that she is a little messy by nature and probably doesn't see this as an issue. I think her problem is that her DD is very clingy and this makes life very diffiuclt.

We can't afford to employ her more than 2 days and I am beginning to resent the pay as I don't feel I am getting my money's worth.

I have today been to see a local child minder who seems lovely and could take my DC's. She will even collect them as we are round the corner from the school she drops off at. Another of her mindees goes to pre school with my DD. The cost would be much lower.

I will talk to DH about our options but nanny is only on one week notice so can make changes quite fast.

Bojangles
That sounds like a much better option, the CM.

You said the childminder would be cheaper and would pick the kids up. Could you take the savings and employ a cleaner to come do laundry? If so, that sounds like a better deal.

But, don't forget to think about some of the benefits a nanny has, like the fact that she'll still look after your kids if they are ill when childminder will send them home (chicken pox, for example). Or the fact that you can send nanny out to run errands, say to pick up a birthday present for little Charlie down the street when you can't, or take the kids for haircuts, to get school uniform, etc.

Ok just worked out the cost and the CM route will save me £284 per month plus the extra savings in mileage, food and activities - probably a furhter £40 per month saving.

More than enough cash for a cleaner!

The nanny should in theory have benefits but I wouldn't ask her to do those sorts of errands as I save them for my Mum if I can't do them myself.

Will talk to husband tonight and make out decision.

Should say that we employed nanny through an agency and paid a hefty fee but we went into arrangment thinking it was possiblt temporary and we chose a nanny mainly to make the transition back to work after being sAHM for 18 months easier. In that sense she has served the purpose and the issue now is affordability and convenience, obviously subject to the DC's being happy!

Hey, I think you can get a gym membership too.

(note: Get one with a creche)

yes Ele (re sick) but when CM is sick yo udon;t (generally) have to pay her - in fact my CM will take DS when he is sick unless he is really too sick which isn't so often. Though I agree there are adv/disadv of both.

I was thinking more about a new car!

Oh yes. You need something in which to drive to the gym!

Yes, Kew, nanny being sick is definitely a drawback of having a nanny. Agree there.

I'm not too worried about sickness as my Mum can help out, husband runs own business and I work for local authority so lots of scope for flexibility.

I must say you do sound like you don't really need a nanny. I work five long days, DH works away all week, and we have no family to help out. So we lean on live-in help because it's more economical that childminder for the long hours we require.

But it sound like you'd be happier with a childminder and a new car.

I think it is irrelevant that she is is only there two days. (BTW does she work for someone else on the other days.)

If she comes in to work and the washer is already going she should think to hang up the washing to dry. If there are clothes already dry she should think to fold them up.

Sounds like you are paying her to make a mess playing with your child and hers but she isn't tidying away and she is being paid to look after her own child in someone else's house but not pulling her weight.

NAB - my thoughts exactly!!

Last week she left DD with Dad for week but we aquired her niece on both days without asking me first - not a real problem as DD loved playing with her but basically she is carrying on her own life with my DC's(happily) in tow and gets paid for it.

Mind is pretty made up just need to work out the timings as to when we will change.

Contract says 1 week notice but do you think that is too little or about right for just 3 months work?

1 week is fine as long as you have agreed that in the contract.

Normally for a full time position it is 1 months notice but I have had some jobs where 3 months was given.