What do you think of my nanny situation?

[bojangles]

Hi, I posted a month or so ago about our nanny not really helping much around house and after a chat she is now cooking dinner for DC's but despite asking her to help out with washing and bed changing nothing has been done. Now, I can cope with the lack of washing etc as she is currently only emplyed 2 full days per week and my Mum helps out the other days. I am about to return full time so the chores are more of an issue. We pay her around £80 gross per day in the midlands and she brings her own DD.

I don't hink that is a bad salary for what is essentially a nanny share. She takes the children out lots and they do adore her BUT she is quite disorganised and messy. I leave the house spotless in the morning but it is a mess when I get home - toys everywhere and the kitchen is messy. She puts the pots and pans in the dishwasher leaving it 3/4 full but doesn't put it on and she doesn't put any crockery away. This morning I was late as I was hanging out the children's wet clothes on the rack but they are still there dry when I get back. Am I expecting too much? I know it is only 2 days but we chose a nanny because of the extras - do you think she has a good deal or are we asking too much?

we have one weeks notice ofr first three months of our contract thereafter its one month so I think one week is fine especially if its in the contract.

Bojangles
I think it's really the right decision. Many nannies wouldn't want to run personal errands and getting childcare cover for two days due to illness is not the same sort of hassel as if you need coverage for five.

The main thing which might change is when there are activities - ie pre school you really want DCs to do. But it sounds like yours might do that if the school is convenient.

To be honest, I'm a bit jealous although our DN is lovely...

Spoken to DH and we will start DC's on a fri with CM when I start full time after if they settle well we will give notice to nanny.

The main selling point with the CM other than money is that she already looks after a girl in DD's pre school so they can play together and hopefully foster a friendship. When she said she could collect them I was sold!

This set up sounds that in reality you have a CM, who is working in your house, using your utilities, doing her own thing in terms of her family (and extended family ) & getting paid nanny rates, yet you are not getting any of the extras you expect from having a nanny.

But should one expect those extras from having a nanny? we are having one in a few weeks' time. She'll be doing 2 days a week. I made it v clear I don't expect any housework at all, just to look after the DCs. I even intend to plan their meals the day before etc so she doesn't have to do any extras. That's what i did with all the other ones. (At the time DS had v poor language so I just wanted them to concentrate on talking and playing with him rather than wasting time cooking or tidying up.) I'd like to come back to a house reasonably tidy but definitely no laundry, ironing etc.

BTW I think the pay, given she brought her own DC, was very generous.

Cristina - it sounds like you have very specific reasons for not wanting/needing the 'extras' - our nanny does bring her own daughter and in essence this is what is compromising the nanny duties. I'm not asking for much - just bed changes and a bit of common sense at helping out with the piles of washing in my house. I think leaving the house as left it is really a given.

I had but don't anymore, DS's speech is excellent and he goes to school till 3.30 anyway, so there isn't much nannying him required. Why would a nanny's job include changing your bedding and doing the washing? She's not a housekeeper.

Cristina, don't want to get into an argument but the main selling point with a nanny was the nanny duties - wouldn't dream of asking her to touch our washing etc but helping out with the DC's is I think part of the job description of a nanny and the reason for starting this thread was to ask waht was normal and expected. The vast majority of responses suggest that nanny duties should include some chores for the children.

Bluesky - another very good summary of the situation!

I don't really have enough experience with nannies as I only employed some very part-time or nanny share. I thought you'd meant doing your beds and washing, not the children's. Yes, the children's I agree that if they change clothes if for e.g. they got wet then it's just as easy to put them in the washing machine or basket.

I know how tired I can get with my children, that's why I don't want others to see coming to look after them as a mega-tiresome activity but maybe even enjoy it if there's no extra duties involved, just playing with them. But obviously I misread your post

Sorry to keep weighing in, but DC related stuff and putting hte house back in order at the end of the day is absolutely fine.

Cristina, my first nanny (who again I can't stop moaning about) expected us to cook and freeze at the weekend so she could just heat up the food. "What's DD having for lunch?" she would ask every morning. Boy did that piss me off after a while- would spend the rest of the day chatting and hanging out with 21 year old daughter. Planning the meals for her wasn't sustainable for us, or I thought fair.

However, I know what you mean re wanting the nanny to focus on child related stuff only. We had considered a nanny share with another family who were really into the idea of the "nanny housekeeper" and I had visions of DD and the other child watching TV while she ironed. This didn't work for us either.

I used to cook & freeze too. I thought it was kinder on the nanny. She probably gossiped that I didn't give them fresh food (I hope she didn't, though).

i don't think you're expecting too much, especially with regards to the house being tidy when you're home!!

All the things you mention are definitely within her duties but the one thing I would say is that she is only in 2 days. When I worked full time I would definitely have washing, clleaning of bedrooms, cooking, bedding chenged etc etc done but you can't expevt all things done in just 2 days as spending time with the children is needed too. But things thayt clearly need doing on a daily basis should be done yes.

I would just speak to her tactfully. I used a diary with my family and anything (like fir example..would you mind putting the washing away when it's dry, thanks) that needs doing can be written down to save you having to list things each day.

It depends if she's going to take the mick or not, how annoying it would be I reckon,and what else she is doing during the day. Ours was so cheeky, I resented it. And she only had one DC to look after, who also went to preschool. I felt (reasonably) she culd have organised her time better.

I'm a nanny and I work 4 days a week. My bosses expect me to do 80% of the regular nanny duties. So I would expect a 2-day a weeker nanny to do 40%. So maybe on one day she does one or two loads of washing, drying and putting away and one the other day she has a sort through the toys and thoroughly tidies the children's bedrooms. On both days she should be cooking fresh meals, planning and tidying up after all activities, and should leave the house in the state she found it. She is being paid to do the job of a nanny and at the moment she is being a lazy so-and-so! I have 2 young charges, work 11 hour days, and still manage to cook, clean, do laundry etc all whilst keeping the littlies amused, entertained, fed, watered etc. I don't understand why some nannies are so lazy!! It makes me as I think it is hard enough for us good, hardworking nannies to be seen in a positive light as it is.

blueskies,
You sound wonderful! Sorry to hijack, but can I ask you what you get paid? If it is not a v v cheeky question

It is cheeky LOL but I will answer! I get a salary based on a 48 hour week (4 daysx11hours along with one 4 hour babysit per week), of the equivalent of 350GBP net. I work abroad however the market rate for nannies is about the same as for Greater London. It's not a huge amount, I could apparently get 500 a week now in London if I wanted. But I love where I am, I love my charges, I love their parents (most of the time LOL) and I love my job as a whole. I enjoy being a nanny, and the money is enough for me to live in a nice apartment (I live out) with non-psychotic flatmates, and eat out regularly, and take cheeky weekends at my bosses place in the mountains I have a very, very nice life! Saying that, I do work very hard, and maybe do more duties around the house than I have read other nannies do. But it's horses for courses. I provide what I feel is a high value service and I am compensated fairly and appreciated abundantly. (Yes the sun does shine out of my rear orifice LOL)

Thank you. V Embarrassed.

LOL Don't be

As an ex-nanny who brought their own child to work with me, she is plain simple lazy!! I used to work a 4 day part-time job and always managed to entertain the children,put washing on daily, iron and clear up after cooking a meal from scratch. As a nanny with your own child you have to put 110% into that job as you do not want to give your employers any excuse to say that you are not doing your job because of your child.You need to get rid of her a.s.a.p she is taking the P@*s