THURSDAY STAFF ROOM

[crace]

Morning girls and boys

No, you weren't rude at all! It was the £££ that got to me. It was almost like a cartoon character with pound signs in its eyes! Anyway, you've explained youself to her and if she choses to take offence, then so be it. She won't get very far finding a CM, if that is her attitude!

Now then, what shall we do about Tori. I'm wondering about posting on there, saying I do understand, but refusing to talk to anyone else.

I hope all childminders arent like this. Arsey - charming.

I think she should back out quietly
She won't win
Too many people are being defensive
I know what & why she said it - but I think she has lost

You do know that the rest of MN can read this too, don't you? Maureen, I think that your comment is a bit out of order tbh.

It seems there's no need for my views after all! Doncha just love the full moon!

Why on earth would any parent have to make an 'excuse' for having half a day off and not collecting [bizarre emotion]. Why would a CM paid for the whole day (I presume) be the slightest bit interested in what the parent has done?

Sheesh!

Oh leave off! I'm perfectly aware that anyone can read this thread, I couldn't give a rats arse either!

How delightful to have met you. Sorry, I assumed that you hadn't intended for your comments on other individual posters to be so public, given the MN philosophy.

I'm a bit puzzled - do the parents go out of their way to tell you they have a half day or something?

Maureen, it is rude to be rude about someone on a different thread.

Yep
& the ones who tell their 3 or 4 yo that they will collect them after lunch, then turn up at 10 to 6 saying - I just nipped to get my hair done & I had my nails (or whatever) done too

When the child has been sat there (I was unable to distact them for more than a few minutes at a time) crying because Mummy didn't come after lunch

Katy - that is altogether different from the situation being discussed and really doesn't help at all!

Sorry but I thought it a valid response to TotalChaos' question

katymac- as far as my son and daughter know they were and will only be picked up at the set time. In fact if we have had to pick dd up early they tend to be a bit miffed as they have planned activities etc.

Katy - the situation you describe is "parents let their children down" not "parents didn't collect their children from me as soon as they finished work when they finished early and their kids had no idea that they were trawling round tescos"

Well that is not how I read the question from TC - I read it in the same vein as the OP on thread which has been brought over to this one for dissection.

I find it rather sad actually (genuinely) that some of the CMs whom I have a great deal of respect for are proving themselves to be as judgemental as the OP on the other thread

I feel a little naive now at my post on the other thread where I said that the majority of the CMs who posted on here were lovely (and ergo, not judgemental in the way that the OP had been)[stupid emotion]

Perhaps poor old Rita is far closer to the mark than I would have thought!

Children listen & understand a lot more than people expect (me included)

The number of times I am told of the lovely child free hour/afternoon/day in front of the child in question - you really wouldn't beleive

Do parents go out of their way to tell me they had time off - yes

Do parents have time off not with their children, yes - does it bother me, no - unless it is the day after them complaining that my life must be so easy as I care for my own child and not have to 'farm them out to the childminder' (that's a direct quote btw) & how much they wished they could just spend more time with their children

Look, Tori wasn't saying that she felt it was wrong for the parents to do whatever they want to during hours that they are paying a minder. Lords knows, I have suggested dozens of times to parents to go off and do whatever they need to do, knowing that their LO is safe and happy with me. She clearly has a parent, who is doing it more and more often and she was just wondering why.

Everyone wants down time from their lo's, I totally understand that, really I do. I would have given my right arm to be able to do the same, at times, when I worked full time, but not al the time! I'm sorry I offended you Hercules, it was me getting arsey with the way the thread was coming down on Tori! I really don't think she deserved such a slating.

I think it is lovely that a child knows that their parent can spend time without them enjoyably - just as I want my children to enjoy their time without me around.

Isn't it a bit like saying, 'oh, you bad mother why do you go out for the evening and have fun with your friends when you could be at home with me?' rather than 'I love that my mummy has fun with her friends and is all jolly and happy when she comes home - I love being with my friends too!'

Although, I concede that any parent who promises to pick up their child early and then doesn't is a BLEEP

I am sorry Maureen and all, but that is not what she stated

she said "I CM and have several sets of parents who finish work early on many occasions who never collect their child early"

not one, several

" I just feel sorry for the child because they are missing out on this extra time with parents who work full time."

SHe is judging those parents and saying that they are not doing the best for their children

And to post in AIBU is asking for people to judge what you have posted.

I think you were unfair to Hercules and would like you to link to or quote where she was being arsy - or where anyone was being more arsy than that judgemental first post

It's tricky isn't it

In any job you see stuff you don't like or approve of

As a childminder I am continually remembering that different people parent in different ways - I don't have to like it I just have to respect it

Oh & the other thing we have to do (completely unconnected with this subject) is to make those decisions (usually by ourselves with no support) between different parenting and neglect or abuse & then make the phone call - it's crap

Different isn't wrong, but it might be confusing or misunderstood

I would hazzard a guess that Tori has probably had problems with this partular parent. Most parents are wonderful and have every right to do other things without their children, when they are in paid care. However, sometimes, we do get parents who don't pay on time, are habitually late, don't sent the right equipment, clothes, nappies, SHOES! (I kid you not!) and I would imagine that this was the straw that broke the camels back.

I really wish it hadn't degenerated into a massive row, over there, Tori needed to sound off. Her only fault was probably not posting somewhere, where others have been there.

CM's need to sound off about their work, like everyone else and we all know that DH's couldn't care less, their day is always worse!

But maureen I have done none of those things you've listed.