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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

What age did you put your baby/child into childcare?

67 replies

MsCactus · 23/01/2023 01:30

How many hours for? And what did you use - nursery, childminder, au pair, nanny... Etc?

If you took maternity leave, how long did you take? Did your partner take any leave too?

Have had my first baby, planning to go back to work in a few months, and am wondering what is "normal"

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

cptartapp · 23/01/2023 14:49

I went back to work pt at four months so DS1 went to nursery. DS2 went at five months when I went back the second time when DS1 was 2.5. DH didn't want to stay home any more than I did.
I can honestly say it saved my mental health. I had no idea just how psychologically draining and dare I say boring life at home with young babies would be. We had no help so had to pay for it. Nursery was the only break we ever got until they eventually went to school.

Twenty years on and never a single regret despite the cost at the time. I effectively worked for nothing for two years. I thought long term though and now my pension looks great and we all bonded well enough.

Mamabear48 · 23/01/2023 16:19

Both of mine were with a childminder since 11 months (baby is only 15 months). She’s amazing. I took 13 months off my partner just took the normal 2 weeks. They each went/go 2 days a week all day then another day with nanny

wisebear · 23/01/2023 16:25

9 month’s maternity- husband had 2 weeks paternity at the beginning and when I went back to work it was full time 9-5 Monday-Friday DS went to nursery 3 days a week and family helped the other 2 it wasn’t until covid hit and I was put on furlough I realised we could financially cope on my hours being less and I now work 9-3 Monday - Friday and get to do school drop off and pick up which I missed out on in his early years - normal is what ever works for you and your family x

vickylou78 · 23/01/2023 16:28

My children both started nursery 3 days a week at 10 months (when stat maternity pay stopped).

Absolutely thrived in nursery.

My husband didn't have any paternity leave.

cadburyegg · 23/01/2023 16:30

10 months is a perfectly normal age to start nursery. DS1 was looked after by my mum 2 days / ex's mum 1 day from when he was 1 until he was 2.5 then he did 1 day of nursery which I increased to 2 days when he turned 3, then when he turned 4 he did 2 days of nursery and 2 days of preschool til he started school at 4.5.

DS2 was looked after by my mum for 3 days a week from age 1-2 then the pandemic hit. When he was 2.5 he went into preschool 3 days a week, then 4 days from when he was 3.5, til he started school at 4.5.

Normal is what works best for you u

YerAWizardHarry · 23/01/2023 16:30

DS was 8 months old and went to nursery full time following the end of my maternity leave. He’s 10 now and still talks fondly about his nursery

YerAWizardHarry · 23/01/2023 16:31

DS was 8 months old and went to nursery full time following the end of my maternity leave. He’s 10 now and still talks fondly about his nursery

britneybitch23 · 23/01/2023 16:33

2 years and 2 months - 3 half days. Slowly building that up over the last nine months and she has loved every single day. 3 full days now but it's still only 9-3.

Heronatemygoldfish · 23/01/2023 16:34

Normal is what works for your family, and what is less stressful, as a baby will pick up on that.
Mine was in my employer's onsite nursery from 5.5 months. I'd arranged to go back to work at 6mo but forgot about the settling-in period. If I could choose how to do it again I'd have had a lot longer off and a DH who had a job to keep us afloat, but he didn't, and I did, so back I went.

crinklemum2 · 23/01/2023 16:40

DD1 - 18 months, 3 days a week. DH did two weekday childcare and worked weekends. She's completely indifferent towards us and quite happy to go away for weeks, sometimes abroad, with no contact (she's 16 now for context and goes away with her hobby groups)

DD2 - 4 months, 3 days a week nursery, GP did 2 days until she was 2.5 (read: hard work!) then FT nursery. She's incredibly close to us, won't even go for a sleepover and tells me she loves me approx 100 times a day so don't think the early start affected our bonding

AtTheStream · 23/01/2023 16:47

I had 4 months off in 2020 - the Covid crisis brought me back earlier than I would have liked
DH self employed so no shared parental leave but he’s flexible WFH which helps
DS was with Grandparents 1-2 days and then at childminders (his Auntie’s own business) so effectively with family 4-5 days per week.

He’s recently turned 3 and we’ve used the childcare grant to go to preschool 2 days a week now. He settled in quickly hardly any problems or tears I think because he’s been in a childcare setting from a baby. Every child is different but we’ve personally also found his behaviour has improved since attending preschool and I’d start it earlier if I ever have a second
hope this helps!

DontMakeMeShushYou · 23/01/2023 16:50

Nursery at 6 months for both of them. DS went for 4 afternoons and 1 full day. DD went for 4 full days. They're 19 and 16 now and I have a very close relationship with both of them, although they've always been happy to go away without us (Guides/Scouts/abroad with school, etc.). DS is now at uni. DH got 2 weeks when each of them was born.

CatA27 · 23/01/2023 17:30

I'd say the younger they go to some sort of childcare the easier it is for them and the easier future transitions are. My 3 boys all went to nursery care for varying periods of time. Due to me having extended time off work my daughter didn't start any form of child care until she was 3 and then she broke her heart every day I left her and hated primary school. I'm sure if she'd have started before she was 1 like the boys she'd have coped better.

avocadotofu · 23/01/2023 17:48

My son was 11 months old and went for 3 days a week in nursery roughly from 9:30 to 5.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/01/2023 17:51

Everyone will be different

I went back to work when dd was 17w

But in self employed and work nights so she was asleep all night and didn't know I had gone to work and was obv left with my husband /daddy

Au pair aren't for under 3 ideally better for 4/5yr at school

Nannies are good (was some for 20yrs) but the highest cost of childcare unless have 2/3 kids

Cm or nursery are next best

Cm are home from home and usually have 3 under 5 and 6 under 8 so 3 possibly at school so doing school runs

Doowop1919 · 24/01/2023 21:07

I don't think there is a normal really. Everyone has different circumstances.

Husband took 4 months with our first and I had the other 10 months (live in Germany where both parents can divide up 14 months how they like). I then decided to not go back to work until DS was 3 and in nursery (he's 2.5 now). I sent him to something just before nursery when he was 2years 2months and he goes two mornings a week for 5 hours. Just to get him used to being away from me.
I'm now expecting our second so will do the same with him too. Husband also taking 4 months again.

HMW1906 · 25/01/2023 16:54

I had 1 year maternity leave, DS started nursery at about 15 months as there wasn’t a space for him until then (popular nursery that always has a waiting list and I left it a bit late to book). He goes 1 day a week and grandparents have him 2 days a week. DC 2 (due next month), I’m hoping to have a year again but 9 months may be more realistic. DC is booked to start nursery at 12 months for 1 day per week.

there is no right or wrong way of doing childcare, it’s whatever works for you and your family.

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