What age did you put your baby/child into childcare?

[MsCactus]

How many hours for? And what did you use - nursery, childminder, au pair, nanny... Etc?

If you took maternity leave, how long did you take? Did your partner take any leave too?

Have had my first baby, planning to go back to work in a few months, and am wondering what is "normal"

I took 6 months ML as I got full pay for 6 months and then it reduced right down. TBH it never even occurred to me that I could have planned to take longer - I am the main earner and just assumed I’d be back after 6 months. Took 7 with the second. DH took 2 weeks paternity and normal holidays when he could - it was nearly 15 years ago so there wasn’t the same parental leave sharing. We’d def do that if it was now.

They both went to a childminder at 6-7 months old, and stayed with her until they went to secondary school. She was amazing. (Actually my eldest went to a different one for a year or 2 but then we moved when new baby arrived - I was most sad about leaving our CM, but found another great one).

Hours full time around 7.30-5pm 5 days per week. But after a few years DH went part time so they went to CM for 3 days. They’re lovely well adjusted teens now.

My daughter went to nursery 3 days a week 8am till 5ish from 11 months old as I finished early and she was late so I had a year in total.
Still loves it now at almost 3 and will stay at nursery until school as pre school in my area are rare and nursery is better with no school holidays and hours.
No local help with childcare.
The first year or so in childcare expect many days off to cover illness - it gets better with age.

My husband took two weeks off as it was full pay or he was going to use holiday as couldn't afford the amount the government gives you as he is the main earner.

Make sure to get your name down on childcare soon, if you haven't done it already as my area most places are full with waiting lists for the good ones.

Can you do split leave once you have started on maternity leave? (I haven't a clue)

Also check if you plan to change hours when you need to submit a form to do so.

You need to see how you feel, I was surprised how strongly I wanted to go back to work part time.

first baby went in nursery 2 mornings a week from 12 months and gradually increased to 3.5 days.

second baby went in 3 mornings a week from 9 months (but I was lucky that I could wfh from 4 months!) and increased to full days.

id recommend booking baby into your chosen nursery now for the max time you can afford, and you can always reduce your days / hours closer to the time. Most good places have very long wait lists - ours is full until end of 2023 atm!

good luck and enjoy

DD went at 8/9 months for 3 days a week and then full time from about 15 months as I changed jobs between those. She absolutely loves it there to be fair, and I think she gets bored at home (she's now 20 months). Husband had 2 weeks pat but then took 2 weeks annual leave so he could be around for the first month (first baby)

DD went to nursery (8.30am - 5.30pm) 3 days a week at 10.5months. Got on absolutely fine. She loves it. About to step up to FT at 20months. We will see how that goes!

DH had 2 week pat leave - DD was still in NICU at the point his pat leave ended 😥

6 months, when I went back to work.

My husband had 4 months paternity leave. I worked around my son from him being 6 months and he went into nursery for mornings at 3.5 years old. I think we are quite unusual.

Mine were both at home with me until they got the early years/pre-school/nursery funding (whatever its called). So the term after they turned 3 iirc. They did 5 half days per week.

They coped just fine, tears for the first couple of days from DS1 and then that was it. DS2 ran in happily waving me off from day 1.

DD1 was about 9 or 10 months when she went full time to crèche. DS was seven months when he went three days a week to crèche (I went to three days the year before he was born) and now I'm a sahm so DD2 stayed at home until her free pre school years started at three and a half. There is honestly no normal and whatever you decide to do it will all work out fine.

DC1 went at 12 months. 4 days a week which eventually increased to 5.

DC2 went 5 days a week from 10 months on.

In an ideal world I'd have kept each of them at home until the age of 2, but we couldn't afford it. I had to go back to work.

There is no "normal" really.
I didn't take maternity leave (self employed) and so worked around having the baby - this was also in covid so I was very much WFH, as was DP, which made things easier.
I always did this and worked around naps etc, with family helping one or two days a week (usually one) so I could do more "bulky" jobs like a tax return for example where I needed more time to sit and concentrate. I'd say all of my self employed friends have gone down this route, if not with family help then with a childminder or babysitter, but to my friends who are employed this sounds bonkers! My daughter started at pre school, so in the September two years before she started reception.
I don't personally know anyone who's put their child in nursery successfully. Most have tried it for a few weeks then opted for a childminder (better flexibility I guess) but then we're lucky to be in an area where there are lots of childminders which isn't the same for everywhere.

DD is 10 months and started nursery 2 days a week at the beginning of January. She's doing fine. We still have tears at drop off but they only last a couple of minutes (I know this because after I've dropped her off I need to take DS to a different room. By the time I walk past the baby room on the way out she's happily eating her breakfast).

DC1 - started with CM at 6 weeks. Stayed with same CM until 3 then went to nursery. Wonderful CM.

DC2 - went to different CM from 3 months until 1. Less happy with different CM but old one had retired.

DC3 - DH became SAHP. Best decision for us.

All childcare was full-time

Best to be with mum until 3 but it's just not possible for some in the current climate.
Ridiculous cost of living ..
thankfully we have a good mat leave set up compared to USA

Thanks everyone - feeling a lot more confident about her going into childcare at 10 months (am probably going to opt for a local childminder rather than nursery)

My original plan was for me and my husband to split 12 months parental leave, but my work have been trying to make me redundant while on mat leave (🙄) so I've just had an interview at another company which would require me going back to work a bit sooner. Still, we'll be able to look after her between us until 10 months

First baby went 3 days from 9 months. I went full time when he was 1.5 but he stayed with grandparents 2 days.

9.5 month old starting settling in tomorrow 3
days.

Needs must! Honestly they usually love it when they're so young. I remember one Saturday morning DS standing at the front door looking to go to nursery.

However it's a different story since he started preschool. He's in school now. Hates going to nursery after school. Just wants to come home. I feel no guilt about sending baby but I feel guilty for sending DS. I know plenty of friends who's kids have been the exact same once the eh start school. It gets harder as they get older

Also OP to echo what @QueenLagertha just said it's actually way easier st that young age. It's when they are older and want to be st home that you feel more guilt. I remember one summer when I worked the hottest week of the year and all DD wanted was her paddling pool in the garden but she had to go to crèche.

There's no normal. My first went at 11 months for 3 days a week. Took her weeks to settle but then she was OK. My second started at around 14 months only 2 mornings a week. He never settled, always hated it and refused to talk there. He's now 10 and still a very shy, sensitive child. It depends on the child. Most are absolutely fine.

I'm very lucky and was able to stay at home for 2 years with both DS1 and DS2.

I chose to send DS3 at 15 months and it's a brilliant age - he's so excited to explore. We're doing settling in right now but it's too early to tell how it's going. We live in Germany and they have a different (very long) process compared to the UK.

DS2 struggled to settle at 2, although it's hard to see how much this was him and how much was the fact he was doing settling in over the second covid lockdown which meant lots of changes plus the nursery closed completely for 10 weeks. He did much better when we restarted the process entirely at 2.5 - his speech was also much clearer.

9 months, 4-5 days a week. She was totally fine settling in, the only hitch was that it was winter when she started and she picked up loads of bugs- I had calls about 3 times from nursery in the first few weeks asking me to pick her up cos she had a fever

DS1 was 3. When we got the free hours and DS2 was around 2 years 7 months ish.

We couldn't afford to put them in any younger. We both didn't see each other basically until DS2 started his free hours at 3. We just had very helpful family and shit shifts before then

My oldest went to nursery at 3 years old, as soon as my child home care leave ended. My youngest went a couple of weeks before his 4th birthday. I intended to send him at 3 as well but then the pandemic happened and I kept putting it off until things got better but then I had to send him because his language skills were just not good enough, he needed more exposure to his second language.

Oldest, 7.5 months. I'd initially thought 9 months but much as I loved them I was not suited to SAHM. I worked 3 day a week for first 2 years of their life, and they went to nursery.

Youngest went into childcare at 18months because I'd been made redundant and it took me a while to find a new job. It was full time at nursery as I knew I couldn't really expect to negotiate for fewer days in a new role. Hopefully that has changed in the last 10 years.

Totally happy with decision/circumstances both times, nursery was good for both kids.

I planned for 6 months return as that's when statutory mat pay started and it wasn't really enough for us to live on. With my first I ended up returning to work after 8 months as he was 2 months prem and in hospital for a month, so I extended it. I return working 37 hours a week over 3.5 days. He went to nursery for 2 days a week and my mum had him for one day a week. With my second I returned to work at 6 months but stepped down at work to a less senior position and less hours. He was in nursery for 2 days a week and I was working for 20 hours per week.

10months old when I went bk to work but she was only in 1 day a week as I went bk 3 days, grandparents did a day each. Similar with second child but she went 2 days and to grandparents one day a week. She def settled better and it got used to it more quickly.

I don't think it really matters, it's whatever u need and they won't remember it when they grow up!