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Original poster

Is 12 too young to be home alone

77 replies

Moana10 · 01/01/2023 19:39

Hi all,
My son is 12 and very sensible. I work 6 hour shifts. My sister used to look after him until recently but she is now severely disabled and unable to care for him. I have no one else available to help.
Would you leave your 12 year old for 6 hours?
I cant help feel uneasy about it but I know I can mummy him too much (so I'm told) some people I know leave their 12 year olds.
My shift is 8 am till 2 pm. It takes me 10 mins in travel one way.
Opinions please?
Thanks for reading 😊

OP posts:
TimeToFlyNow · 01/01/2023 20:26

Depends on the child, for me ds1 no, ds 2&3 yes , ds3 is 12 next month and has been left up to 4 hours so far

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 01/01/2023 20:26

Perfectly fine. I've had to leave mine in holidays while I'm at work since he was in secondary so age 11/12 because there is no childcare for his age (that he would want to go to)
as long as he's NT and sensible it's fine.

ChristmasCakeAndStilton · 01/01/2023 20:37

I'd try not to do it every day over the holidays. As a 1 off, definitely for my 13yr old - and he did this in Y7 once or twice.
My 11 year old would be less keen, so I don't know what would happen if it was required. He is happy to be left for a couple of hours.

Both mine would be awake way before 7.45, but I think I would want to make sure they knew I'd gone ie wake them before I left.

theholidaymum · 01/01/2023 20:47

Is there a legal age until when the kid can be left home alone?

i wouldn’t personally but because of personal experience my sister left the son home (single mom) after school around similar age so around 12 not yet 13, until she gets back home from work (around 6pm). The theft tried to break into the house by knocking the door and threatened him if not opening, during that hour knowing only the kid will be home. Luckily he called the mom and mom called the police, so nothing happened. But she got a fine for it. (In Australia).

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 01/01/2023 20:51

I think it's perfectly fine. Just make sure he has phone number to reach you in case of emergency.

I would also give him a couple of jobs to do, it's good to get him started now! Things like, empty the dishwasher, change your bed.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 01/01/2023 20:51

theholidaymum · 01/01/2023 20:47

Is there a legal age until when the kid can be left home alone?

i wouldn’t personally but because of personal experience my sister left the son home (single mom) after school around similar age so around 12 not yet 13, until she gets back home from work (around 6pm). The theft tried to break into the house by knocking the door and threatened him if not opening, during that hour knowing only the kid will be home. Luckily he called the mom and mom called the police, so nothing happened. But she got a fine for it. (In Australia).

No there isn't

Yika · 01/01/2023 20:51

I would, it sounds fine to me. I’d check in by phone (maybe twice) and leave a packed lunch. But these things depend a lot on the child and your own comfort zone. If it’ll be a worry for you, I’d try to find another arrangement while you build up in smaller time increments.

Sunnytwobridges · 01/01/2023 21:24

I left my dd alone for 6 hours at that age. Either when I had to go to work and she was out of school or in the evenings if I went out. She was fine but I think it depends on the kid.

redskydelight · 01/01/2023 21:28

Those saying "no" do realise many 12 year olds spend longer days than that on their own in school holidays? It's an age where there isn't generally much in the way of paid childcare options about.

I can't see an issue with this OP. Especially as he's likely to spend half the time in bed.

nc824 · 01/01/2023 21:35

Who are all these 12 year olds sleeping in?! Mine would get up at the crack of dawn if I let him!

belowfrozen · 01/01/2023 21:52

It's fine

Ukholidaysaregreat · 01/01/2023 21:57

Yes. Totally fine. You both have phones. He has his own door key (I assume).

SellFridges · 01/01/2023 21:58

Sounds fine to me. Make sure you have a good chat about what he should and shouldn’t be up to and what to do in an emergency.

Oblomov22 · 01/01/2023 22:06

Depends how often. Ds2 was left 1 or 2 days when I worked in the summer holidays. He was fine, loved it infact, played x box, ate his lunch, no troubles at all, but then he is a very mature, content child.

Copasetic · 01/01/2023 22:09

I leave my 12 year old son at home if I have to work (9-3) on any school holidays I can't get off. I have been doing it for about a year. I don't leave him at night or when dark out. He is very happy with it during the day occasionally. He always has plenty to do - things to practice and homework as well as playing on his switch, watching tv and reading.

Whatwouldscullydo · 01/01/2023 22:27

I have to do similar in the school holidays. I work.part time but could work any time of the day really so sometimes I have no choice but to leave her until I finish or her dad gets back from work whichever comes first.

I don't like leaving her for extended periods of time but there comes a point where you just have to. And where they need to realise they need to be able to be trusted and be little bit sensible

Its not like we are talking about all night raves/partying. Its work. Its whats keeping them fed amd clothed.

redskydelight · 01/01/2023 22:46

nc824 · 01/01/2023 21:35

Who are all these 12 year olds sleeping in?! Mine would get up at the crack of dawn if I let him!

Two words.
Teenage hormones.
Seems to happen around 12/13 in boys.

(of course there are exceptions, but my own "5.30am is a lie in" child flipped practically overnight).

nc824 · 01/01/2023 22:51

@redskydelight I'm counting down the days 😂 he's not as early as he used to be, although it's always a bit better in winter.

JamNittyGritty · 01/01/2023 23:00

My dd, also just turned 12 in December, has been left alone for 5-6 hours a handful of times. I called a few times to check in and let my work know she was home alone so I would have my phone on and might have to go if there was an issue. She was fine, a bit lonely. No issues

Notoironing · 02/01/2023 10:08

At that age I was home alone all day in the holidays while my mum went out to work. She used to pay me a daily amount to completely clean and tidy the house and prepare some food for our dinner. I loved it! I’d watch tv all morning then do my jobs then walk to the newsagent to spend my earnings.

WhiteCatmas · 02/01/2023 10:13

At 12 he should be fine. It’s secondary school age in NI when a lot of children make their own way home and there is no childcare.
When I was growing up you could babysit children when you turned 12.

SchnauzerEyebrows · 02/01/2023 22:24

Absolutely not! I can’t believe you're even asking. I burnt my parents' kitchen down when I was 13 and home alone

SchnauzerEyebrows · 02/01/2023 22:25

PuttingDownRoots · 01/01/2023 19:50

I leave my 11yo for 3-4hrs. The only issue is she gets a bit lonely sometimes.

Is he a sensible child that you can trust not to do anything too stupid?

This is unacceptable and you would have social services on your case if they ever found out. 11 is far, farrrr too young

NestingSparrow · 02/01/2023 22:26

Most would be fine.
I think once they are at secondary they can be left at home if they have a minor illness or INSET.
Obviously there will be some that can’t.

NestingSparrow · 02/01/2023 22:28

This is unacceptable and you would have social services on your case if they ever found out. 11 is far, farrrr too young

No it’s really not not too young, especially if they are at secondary. Social services would not be interested.