Nursery or child minder?

[Frida9]

Hi, I am expecting my first child in February so won't be looking for childcare until the start of 2024 but am looking for advice on whether to go with a childminder or a nursery? What are other people's experiences?

I did initially think just nursery but there's only one in my area and on contacting them their fees are significantly higher than advertised on their website so a bit put off the idea. It would only be two full days a week.

I went with childminder when my DD was 13 mths mainly because I read kids that age need more 1-1 contact/ care etc. That 'recommended' childminder would try to find any excuse not to look after our little one. That lasted 3 mths.

Then covid kicked in, little one was at home with us.

Then she went to gymboree at 18 mths , but only for morning sessions, then we'd pick her up, bf then she would nap until
3pm, that was a good experience.

Now she is at yet another nursery ( we moved abroad) with massive outdoor space which is nice for lil ones to have that space to be able to run around. She is 3 now so likes to hang out/ play with her peers.

If you go with nursery, there is always someone that will be there even if even of stuff being sick + it is more difficult for stuff to be mean to kids (sorry, mum's paranoia kicks in here lol) as there is always someone else in the room.

Your experience with childminder might be different of course.

I think the ideal scenario ( not sure if realistic) would be to have childminder that comes to your place and so you can work
from home, the baby does not get upset because its left in unknown/ new environment. I'll try to do just that with DC no2.

Also, read online reviews I found that very helpful.

Good luck, you got this mama

A good childminder gives much more 1 to 1 care.....older charges being self sufficient not 1 of 4 lined up in high chairs being fed one for you style. Many nurseries rely on apprentices not all doing it for love of children as much as I have to be in education. Staff turnover can be high.
You can pick a childminder who works with assistants or Co minders....but it's more homely than a nursery where babies often stay in nursery all day not getting out.
The right childminder can support you through life situations and give invaluable assistance in emergencies or an ear when things are difficult like baby not sleeping .....along with tips and working with you to improve the situation. They can also be the only childcare you ever need seeing you through siblings and school years with great continuity.
You do typically have to cover their holidays....often 2 or 3 weeks a year with dates given in January. And sickness....worth chatting with other families to see if this has been an issue but generally as being self employed childminders don't go sick often.
The best thing is to look around at all types of setting and see what feels right, who could you build a relationship with? Do you want to be able to talk to your childcare everyday not just quick handovers?

The very best option for the child is an excellent childminder.

But a nursery setting does hold advantages for parents e.g. no holiday/sick leave to cover.

A good childminder is better than an excellent nursery.

But an excellent nursery is better than a middling or bad childminder.

So, it really depends on the nurseries and childminders in your area.

I would start by looking at childminders to see if you can find one that you click with. If not, branch out and look at nurseries.

Remember that what matters most to children is a warm and loving environment. Things like ballet lessons, a sensory room, wooden toys etc. don't matter so don't be fooled by things like that. Look at the staff and how they interact with the children.

Also, bear in mind that when you choose a childminder you know exactly who will care for your child. When you choose a nursery, you choose that establishment but staff come and go, people go on holiday and cover staff come in etc. so you don't know exactly who is looking after your child, you need to have full trust in the management of the nursery.

I've done both with each kid.

So first one she went to nursery, was good she enjoyed it but she had bad separation anxiety at drop offs for months and months. Then it started again when she moved rooms. When she was 3 I moved her to a school nursery ready for reception (based on how she settled in to nursery I didn't want to shock her) that did 3 days a week and found a childminder to do 2 days. Childminder is wonderful, she used to go on so many great days out, she was loving and her home felt like home.

My lo is 7 now and she goes to her in the holidays now with her younger sis who has just settled in she's 1 . She's settled in so much better, no crying for me. She gets 1-2-1 time, there's less kids. She goes out to playgroups / farms etc... and she gets cuddles and love.

So positives of both but I'd go childminder everytime (as long as they are a great childminder obviously ) mine is fantastic she is like part of the family now.

She buys the kids Xmas & birthday presents and it's just a lovely relationship

I think the ideal scenario ( not sure if realistic) would be to have childminder that comes to your place and so you can work
from home, the baby does not get upset because its left in unknown/ new environment. I'll try to do just that with DC no2.

This is a nanny. It's realistic, but expensive.

Your describing a nanny anyway.....childminders are ofsted registered working from their own home.

I've always felt I could trust a nursery more. There are policies and procedures in place, the various staff sort of observe each other, no-one is ever completely alone with your child. Staff can help each other out so it's probably much less stressful for them than one childminder by themselves with several mindees. Yes 1:1 care would be ideal but I don't think the average childminder is anywhere near as caring and loving to your child as you as the mum anyway. Maybe I've just had bad experiences though.

It's personal choice, but a CMer for me.
Closest to a home environment. More flexibility. Tend to be slightly more mature women which can be reassuring. My experience is that CMers get out and about much more - not sitting in one room for 8 or 9 hours a day + a spell in the garden (someone will come and say their Nursery takes them out, but you can't be so spontaneous when you have to sort 8 or more dc at a time).

Child minder for under twos is the best option, assuming they are good.

My personal concern with childminders is that I didn’t want my DS spending chunks of the day in the pushchair or car seat on school runs.

MN tends to be quite pro childminders, which is interesting as I don’t know anyone who uses one in real life.

We did child minders until Ds was 3 and then on to a nursery for pre school! He adapted fine to the change! He went in to the childminders house perfectly whereas he was more cautious going into pre school but he comes out pre school happier and more excitable whereas the childminder felt like dropping him off at a family members towards the end! The child minder was amazing with him though! Don't regret a thing!

Childminder with a big enough business to essentially be a small nursery. So they have dedicated space eg building in garden, play area, staff etc. Or small nursery, they do loads of local trips, library park etc in my experience.

My personal concern with childminders is that I didn’t want my DS spending chunks of the day in the pushchair or car seat on school runs.

..........and yet I saw this as a real positive. It meant my dc were out of the house, every day and not in the same 4 walls. They would often go into the park then on the way home (even on the grey days when you might not be tempted) but it meant they were out in the fresh air, noticing things, talking about things, doing all the "learning" that comes through outdoor play. On other days they might do something like walk to the Post Office or a shop - again with all the learning and language that comes in to play. They were used to the concept of school and the playground before they started. My brave CMer even took them into assembly a couple of times. Then on different days they would walk to different groups / stay and plays etc.

Which reiterates the point that it is down to personal choice.

I'm quoting someone who is describing a nanny. That's why I've said 'this is a nanny' at the bottom!

Exactly my thoughts!

But you do acknowledge that childminder's exist in real life? And are widely used? You're not claiming it's a Mumsnet conspiracy are you?

Does the evidence support that though?

I mean you hear about children being abused in nurseries, choking to death in nurseries, drowning, strangling themselves. It could be argued that as well as watching each other they're chatting to each other...getting distracted maybe. It's also true that no-one has full responsibility for your child, so much easier for them to slip through the net, which is often what's happened when kids choke/drown, everyone thinks someone else is watching them. Maybe one specific person with sole responsibility is more likely to keep your child safe?

We felt a nursery would suit ours better but childminders can also be fab. Our jobs also meant it's very hard to have days off in term time so nursery offered more reliability for us.

@NuffSaidSam … I’ve had some strange things extrapolated from my posts before, but that is probably the strangest!

I mean you hear about children being abused in nurseries, choking to death in nurseries, drowning, strangling themselves

Erm, do you? Regularly?

No, not regularly of course not! But it's certainly in the news more than similar cases happening at a childminder setting. I don't know whether that's because it doesn't happen or it just isn't reported in the same way. It's something to think about though when assuming that more than one carer is definitely safer.

I think it also happens with parents. When one of you has the child you know who is responsible, that person keeps a close eye. When you're both there it's easy to think the other is watching the child and an accident is more likely to happen ime. It's counter intuitive, but worth thinking about. That's all my point is, apologies that you found it strange.

I didn’t find that point strange - unusual way to look at things perhaps - but it was a bit odd you thought that my belief was that childminders were a conspiracy theory!

Anyway, no matter. I think people just choose what suits them, and their child.

Oh sorry, it was the bit about it being 'interesting' that Mumsnet is pro childminder's but you'd never experienced that in 'real life', just was a funny way of phrasing it....as if Mumsnet isn't a reflection of real life 😂. Of course many people in 'real life' do use childminder's!

Not all childminders do school runs.
Not all childminders work on their own. I have 2 assistants so if someone is sleeping they can stay asleep.

Many of my clients who used nursery for older child have said they wished they had thought of childminders for them and recommend for friends.
The school run can be a positive thing not only getting used to the environment but also looking for shapes, numbers, playing the road saftey game stop and go in s playground, discovering nature and things like builders, fitemen what drains do.....we take photos to use in messy play, crafts, make puzzles and support interests. A nursery environment is very false locking baby into an artificial environment where they only see things in posters not real life. If your home with an older sibling would you not take baby to school. As an assessor I've seen many nurseries and childminders few nursery of school staff have ever visited a childminder so have the idea it's all tv and leave them to play few realise we follow the same EYFS as they do but with lower ratios.

Ohps

Thats really sad I'm very attached to my mindees am god mother to 3 and still in contact with many even the 29 year olds. Obviously I'm not mum but I that them as an aunt would and am much more invested in them then the average 17 year old apprentice that I see in nursery in my assessing role.
Many childminders work with assistants and cominders and all have policies and procedures being inspected by Ofsted just like a nursery to the same standards.