Nursery or child minder?

[Frida9]

Hi, I am expecting my first child in February so won't be looking for childcare until the start of 2024 but am looking for advice on whether to go with a childminder or a nursery? What are other people's experiences?

I did initially think just nursery but there's only one in my area and on contacting them their fees are significantly higher than advertised on their website so a bit put off the idea. It would only be two full days a week.

I don’t think you should take it personally, @jannier .

Some people feel more comfortable using a nursery.

Some prefer a childminder.

Dismissive comments about seventeen year olds are not going to make anyone stop and think ‘hang on, I’d better use a childminder instead.’

For me, I need 100% reliability. I really can’t be in a position where someone might close due to illness or holidays

I prefer the fact the children are roughly the same age. The school runs do put me off.

The argument it’s a home away from home doesn’t convince me - it’s not his home.

But it suits others perfectly which is great.

I personally think it's down to the child. My DS (now 18) settled really well into nursery, initially split with some grandparent care, then fully into nursery, so I naively though my little girl (now 2) would be the same. Sadly she really didn't settle at nursery, she was a lockdown baby so that may have had an impact, but the nursery we're calling me on her settle sessions saying she was just crying throughout. I luckily found an amazing childminder and the fit was perfect. My little girl blossomed, loved being there. Sadly my childminder gave up in August to focus on her sons needs so we have had to find a nursery. New nursery and daughter being older and she has taken to it so well.

I was really lucky with the childminder that I had no issues with her being unwell and my daughter only had 2 bouts of cold whilst there. The nursery is more local and obviously no more worries about one person being poorly. I'd recommend going to see nurseries, meet some childminders. You have to have trust with whoever you hand your child over so make sure you are happy and have no concerns.

My point about 17 year olds is that as an Assesor I go in to assess their work many dont actually want to do childcare it was just a course they could do at college while waiting to be older....not all but many. The requirement is that the whole building is in ratio not just the room so often staff are left out of ratio obviously some nurseries are brilliant like some childminders and the same for awful settings. Obviously factors like reliability come into it which is why talking to existing parents is useful....in my area 3 nurseries are now shutting permanently and many have turned away due to the chronic staff shortage in early years nothing is a given. But you can get childminders with co minders who don't shut for holidays or sickness you also get childcare on domestic premises essentially childminding with up to 4 other staff there are loads of options across the whole early years sector.
Personally I like mixed age groups the children really fly both physically linguistically and academically holding children back due to birthdays dosent fit with any childcare research but it's easier for nursery cheaper to staff etc.

Personally I like

Thats really all you need.

This is what you like, so you chose it.

I agree with this.

That said, I've had a really rubbish recent experience with my childminder having some health problems (involving frequent lack of childcare, often in an emergency ie me having to drop work and rush to collect my child/ren). I think the experience of that period of sickness, coupled with pandemic isolation and family changes for her, has had a lasting impact on her MH and I don't feel she's really able to properly cope and meet the children's needs any longer. I'm sympathetic to her but at the same time it's had an awful knock-on effect for my own MH and my career, and has also affected my children. I know it's not common, but I do now understand why some parents are concerned about the reliability of a childminder.

That said, I know of a couple of sudden (permanent) nursery closures locally too, so neither is risk free!

I don't really regret using a childminder because DD had such a good time there as a baby - definitely second only to being home with me. But maybe I'd have been a better mother lately if I'd had reliable childcare...

Thank you all for your responses, my husband's not sure about a childminder because it's one person on their own with a child instead of more people at a nursery. I went to childminders as a child and still keep in touch with one of them now so I know it depends on the individual.
Unfortunately part of my consideration is also cost, nursery where I live is twice the cost of a childminder per day and that would really impact on whether I can go back to work or not.
I'm going to have a full discussion with my husband but I am leaning towards childminder at least from 12months.

Could you look for ones who co-mind or have assistants?

Our first went to nursery. I really liked it but he was ALWAYS ill, the staff were lovely but updates were sporadic.

Our 2nd was born and they both go to a childminder, she works with her daughter and they have up to 5 kids at one time.

I'm preferring the childminder, they have much more one on one time, we get daily updates and photos and they aren't sick as often!

We used a brilliant nursery for DT’s. They started full time at six months and had the same key workers until they started school. The staff were specialists in childcare and development, the majority degree educated. Lots of outdoor space and local parks. We used two of the staff as babysitters. Liked the reliability (low staff turnover) and that they were open 50 weeks of the year from 7.30 - 6.30. We visited seven nurseries and knew this was the right one for us - it was also around the corner from DH’s work and walkable from home.

We use a childminder for DS who is 13 months. First baby so we hadn't had to source childcare before. The day I went to meet the childminder and have a look around I knew that was where I wanted DS to go, we didn't go to see the nursery. A lot of nurseries in our area have had incidents recently which made the news, one baby burned by bleach and hot water, one toddler escaped without staff noticing and managed to walk all the way home (staff still hadn't noticed when the parent and child got back to the nursery). Although I am sure there are lovely ones too, it was a no brainer for me.

Taking time off if CMer is sick is a pain but DH and I take it in turns to cover if it does happen but it's not often. My little boy is so happy there and she is so lovely with him, they spent most of the day outside or doing messy play and we always get an update with photos atleast once during the day to see what he is up to and how he has been.

We've used both for our children - I'm a Registered Childminder and DH works in a nursery.

Our eldest went to a nursery when I worked full time in a different job. It was great for out needs and worked well. Downside is that nursery workers are treated appallingly (in most cases), low pay, additional unpaid hours, unpaid sick leave, lots of insisted overtime and pressure from management for being off sick (that they picked up from the children). Consequently high staff turn over. My eldest went through so many key workers (20+ in her 4 years) and it did irk me.

Our others went to a Childminder. Fantastic lady who we all adore. Much more personal and she knew them inside and out and could support their needs well. All the children have a lovely bond, more like a little family. Downside if your Childminder (and if they have children) is ill you need to find cover. I know some who've had lots of time off and others that haven't. Ours minded for 30+ years and only had a handful of days off.

In both cases check the contract, sickness and fees policy carefully and make sure you understand what you're signing up to. Sickness and money are the two areas that seem to be an issue the most.

Don't go with what other people say is best. There's no "best" between the two. Only what best suits your needs and then you can find what you feel is the best setting for your child within those parameters.

Living within two nurseries and seeing what goes on I’ve always preferred childminders. I’ve used one CM with assistants and one without and both have been great for very young children.

Please don’t think that nurseries are safer because others are observing, I assure you they are frequently negligent with crying or upset children and cover for each other. I have seen this with the two local nurseries that are full to the rafters.

Hi,

I‘m a SAHM and have just sent my 23 month old son to nursery 2 mornings a week so that I can get a small break!

He has been going for a month now and just does not seem to be settling. He cries at drop off, pick up and for the rest of the day after we’ve picked him up he is very clingy, upset and not sleeping or eating well. He has not eaten a single bit of any food they offer him since starting so when I pick him up at 1pm, he hasn’t eaten a thing and is starving and miserable to the point that I can’t even drive off home without first feeding him in the parking lot. He also does not sleep at nursery so he is overtired by the time I pick him up.

I have chatted to the nursery staff and they just say that he is “up and down during the day” and that he really loves being in the garden so to give it more time.

I can see that my child is not happy and all this upset is spilling over into the rest of our week even when he is not at nursery. He doesn’t need to go to nursery at all as I am
at home but I do need some time for myself.

Should I take him out of nursery completely and try again in a few months, persevere for a bit longer (it’s only been a month now) or should I move him to a childminder only?

I even thought of continuing nursery as is but also maybe sending him to a childminder for one day a week too?

The nursery does not have more days available at the moment so I can’t send him for more days.

What should I do? Please help!

I don’t think it’s be a good idea to send him in more often to nursery, it’s probably too busy for him.

Try a childminder that can focus on settling him more in a smaller setting.

Thank you for your reply @Tillsforthrills .

so you mean completely take him out of nursery and let him only go to a childminder? How many days at a childminder would be ok?

Childminders and nurseries offer exactly the same educational experience the only difference is the size of setting and stability of 1 to 3 adults rather than a large group and temporary cover. So I'd try a childminder he's still getting time away from you and preparing for school learning all the skills a reception child would need.

@jannier thank you, that makes sense

Wow!! As a childminder myself your comments are incredibly offensive!
You DO know we are ofsted registered I take it?
And the kids I look after are loved, cared for and cuddled.
Think about what you post!

I'm a childminder that only looks after early years, I don't do school runs.
My friends that do however...the school runs are very quick - how long do you think it takes to pick kids up from school?!

My DD goes to nursery. She is happy, socialised, able to play independently, eats everything, had lots of friends from different cultures!
I wouldn’t change it for the world!

As someone who does supply work in nurseries, a childminder or nanny 100%

Reliability is no longer assured with a nursery, not with the staffing issues they have now.
Throughout the last 6 months or so, childminders in my area have been providing cover for desperate parents who were using nurseries and found themselves without care because rooms had closed with little or no notice.
We’ve also provided care for children who were booked with nurseries and had their places withdrawn because they were overbooked - not just one nursery that did this, either.

They do close for sickness,. They’re as susceptible to norovirus and flu epidemics as the rest of us.

I use a childminder one day a week and my mum has my little one the other day I work. I wanted the more personal touch as hadn't needed childcare with my eldest (parent help then covid). As other have said an advantage is childminder also has my eldest in the holidays.

Unfortunately, most childminders I've seen do have sole charge of seven or eight kids and there is zero individual attention.