Nanny share fee split

[TigerTill]

Hi all - looking for some advice on how to share a nanny’s salary with the other family we’ve agreed to do a nanny share with. Generally we agreed to split 50:50 but it will be hosted full time in our home so I’m wondering if we should be entitled to pay a bit less? We’ll figure out how to split costs for food, nappies etc separately but given heating costs, cleaning equipment, general wear and tear (not to mention the minor hassle of having to store their extra high chair and travel cot, the double buggy etc) it seems fair that we should pay a little less. Is that standard practice and if so, how do you go about figuring out the difference?
thanks!

why The heck did you offer at your place??!!

as for them paying more, yes.

I would be concerned the other family hasn’t offered tbh

but it will be hosted full time in our home it as in your Nanny?

Could you suggest to them you paying say 5%-10% more to cover households costs costs and utilities? They have the added inconvenience of travelling back and forth, is that going to be a big cost? If they refuse say you're happy to do the travel and pay more for them to host her.

@SheepingStandingUp I would have though OP meant "it" as in the nanny service

Thanks for your responses! 5% is around what I was thinking.

The other family have a small flat and don’t have space for a nanny to look after 2 children there so that’s not an option. We don’t mind at all, and they don’t have far to travel to get to us so not really an inconvenience for them.

And yes I meant the nanny share, not referring to the nanny as ‘it’!

It’s so much easier having the nanny in your house! You don’t have to get your child ready in the morning, you don’t have to get them home at night. I would not be asking for a discount as this is sooo much better than having to schlep your child around in the morning or evening! Also your kid gets to be home around their own home comforts.

i guess if you were wfh it might not be so great of you are short of space. or you might think better as you could have a set time (lunch or something where you get to hang out with your kid)

Have they not offered?

I was the opposite

Loved coming back to spotless home.

especially if very local to get there

How are you going to sort food etc?

@Ohthatsexciting They didn’t offer to pay more, no, I brought it up as it had been suggested to me by a few people, especially given fuel costs and the fact that we’ll need to heat the house during the day in winter etc., but admittedly all by people who have never used a nanny! Food we’ll either do a joint shop or ask the nanny to do so - will depend on how the nanny is used to doing things, will certainly ask their advice (when we find one!).

Our nanny share split the time between the homes but in your position I would still
split the cost equally. Part of the benefit of having a nanny is having them come to your house and have your child be around their stuff, not having to do pick up or drop off or pack a bag of your kids stuff. I don’t think you can really charge them for storing a few items and realistically 50% of the energy costs isn’t much when you offset the convenience to you of the above.

PS you should obviously split the food cost though. And the nanny should clean up after the kids so the “spotless home” thing shouldn’t be an issue wherever they are.

I would be concerned they didn’t offer

Surely surely it is very obvious that you will be incurring the costs of running a home. In winter l!! The heating and electricity, the mess! Shudder

I would be concerned op

As for splitting food costs

tricky when all in one home.

plus they have two children? How many do you have?

Will either / both be claiming back childcare from UC?

If you're going to be expecting your nanny to perform any nursery duties then I think the bonus of that would offset the extra charges in your home. Your children will probably get all their washing down, any extras from batch cooking left at yours for weekends, beds changed all the little things like that that the other family won't be benefitting from

Rather than use a percentage of your nanny’s salary, can you do a (very) rough calculation of the extra costs you will actually incur? I do not see how heating costs will be higher based on two kids not one, there may be a nominal sum for water and electricity. For wear and tear, do a back of the envelope calculation based on how often you will need to redecorate vs not having the nanny and children there. I think that cleaning products could be costed in with food shopping.

Once you have an idea of how much it is, decide if it worth requesting. If so, settle it with your nanny-share partner directly rather than fiddling with the nanny’s salary proportions. That way, if arrangements change in the future you can do a similar thing. Also, if a big joint expense comes up (damage, for example, or buying a piece of equipment) you will already be used to having these types of conversations/arrangements. I get that conversations about money between friends can be awkward, but better to get used to having those sooner (see above RE unexpectedly big expenses).

don't know, I think it makes it all complicated when families nitpick over who pays what.

You chose to go into a nanny share with someone who doesn't have suitability to host, so you can't really ask they pay more.

What would happen if they then said ok fine we'll host half at ours?

Believe me, you are benefitting massively from having the share solely based at yours. No stressing to get kids ready and to the other house and make it for pick up on time. Will the nanny also be doing your child's laundry?

Yep. Agree 💯

Depends what the nanny is doing. As a pp said, if she’s keeping your kids’ rooms tidy and doing their laundry, that’s a benefit that offsets the cost of heating etc. But otherwise, you’re the one paying for the house to be heated all day and likely as not most of the food etc. I’d offer to get the food in for all the kids and the nanny and then suggest a 60/40 split in your favour? What happens if you have an unexpected day off/get home early/the other family are late? You’re presumably stuck with a houseful of kids? All these things are worth considering.

Mess? The nanny will clean up after them all.

I always leave the kitchen cleaner than I find it. Another benefit to having it based at your house OP ;)

I think you should pay more - it’s not really a nanny share, it’s your nanny in your house. You are going to be ‘in charge’. The heating cost is irrelevant as you’d be doing it anyway. My prediction- this arrangement won’t work and you will fall out.

I think it's more of a bonus to have it at your house logistically so that should negate the cost of utilities which honesty will be minor and you'll just come across really badly if you now ask for more money

Wow, so many different views! I appreciate all the responses, thank you. I agree we’ll certainly benefit in some ways from hosting the nanny share, and we’ve agreed that if we don’t need the nanny on any particular day then they will look after the other child at the other family’s house, so no issues there. We have one child each. I hadn’t considered whether the nanny would do our child’s laundry etc so appreciate that those extra duties would offset running costs if we do agree to them - and the nanny should certainly keep our house clean to the extent the kids create mess.

I think I’m persuaded to drop the idea!

@Sittininafield I hope your prediction doesn’t turn out to be right!

Agreed

Fact op went to mumsnet rather than talk to people with whom she is going to bein very very regularly contact with and presumably trusts and friends with, speaks volumes

plus fact that no real detail seems to have been remotely thought through, let alone discussed