Is it time to say goodbye to Childminder?

[PartyintheKitchen]

Our childminder has worked for us for 6 years, 3 days per week. Great with the kids (9, 6, 3) and when they are with her I never worry.

She is not the easiest with communications with parents however. She has been on sick leave for three weeks now and it’s at the stage where she is day-to-day texting whether she will return or not. 1st week she had a cold, took full week off. 2nd week covid, full week off. 3rd week, feels absolutely fine (her words) but has today told us she doesn’t want to work until her antigen test is negative (yesterday she said she would “definitely be back by end of week”).

She has form for making up her own rules on illness and days off, she is ill regularly enough (3-4 times per year, normally 1 week off per illness) and will also take time off ad-hoc and last min to mind her son if he is unwell. Her son is 22, no additional needs, generally he is quite coddled by her. When covid hit in March 2020, she - for obvious reasons - didn’t work, but extended it by months of leave (6 months in total) and her reasoning was that our children were vectors and she couldn’t risk her son becoming unwell (20 yrs old at time). That was hard.

I need a subjective view on her from you all. I’m at the stage where my husband and I have run down our annual leave to zero balance (but still have summer holidays ringfenced), we’re utilising local babysitters for chunks of time in the day when we can. Our 3 yr old goes to pre-school in September. Afterschool is covered here as standard so we could manage without her from Sept although that wasn't what we were considering. We could get someone who will cover the remainder of the summer minding for us to allow our CM to recuperate. Is it time to say goodbye to our CM? The day to day “I can work, I can’t work” is so unbelievably stressful to manage. Other factors at play. I’m only 3 months in new job and don’t have a bank of holidays I can call on. My mum is going through chemo so I need to be available to help her when possible – it’s a big drive too to her as she lives across the country. It’s not the easiest phase at the moment.

Any thoughts? Woudl appreciate some input from those not in the weeds with this situ. Thanks.

I’m amazed you’ve stayed with her so long. There’s no way I would have been able to put up with this.

Yes I would look for another option. It sounds like the arrangements was nearing the end of its natural life anyway. You need someone reliable.

Time to say goodbye! The uncertainty would kill me.

Aside from not being horrible to your children, reliability is one of the main things to look for in a childminder. This woman is running rings around you. Chuck her and get someone better, you’re not paying to be this stressed! Perhaps the awareness that you don’t “need” her from Sept will cause you to reassess what help you actually need - perhaps it’s not someone like a childminder any more, your local babysitters or before and after school care could work for you. Good luck!

Say goodbye and don't look back.
It's very difficult when you feel as though you have a relationship with someone for such a long time but she is totally taking the piss.
I wouldn't be surprised if this is her way of having you let her go. She can't possibly be so daft as to this people would put up with that.

No matter how good they are or how much you trust them, if they are not reliable, what use are they to you?💐

I’d have binned her off months ago.

You've been extremely patient so far. Sounds like it's time to go your different ways!

Definitely time to get rid, as someone who works in childcare (nanny) I understand that reliability is the most important thing to a parent.

Would gave binned her months ago your mad!

While people can't help getting sick that does seem a lot, my childminder has had 1 day off sick in 4 years (well plus 10 days for Covid but that was at the start of lockdown 3 so she couldn't have my kids anyway).

Definitely would leave her, the stress of trying to cover childcare would do me in. It's hard when the kids like them but it's not worth the stress

Is there a nursery nearby which might suit you better?

I had a fantastic childminder for 4 years - she would take holiday in December every year that I had to cover and other than that I can recall her being Ill once for a day - and her husband who was also Ofsted registered took over. I would have lost my patience with yours a long time ago.

Thanks so so much for all of your responses everyone. It's good to know that I'm not losing the plot. She just texted me there to say (quote)

"Party, my test came up as a definite positive again. I feel I will have to stay home tomorrow as I still have covid. I am waiting for my doctor to phone me back and I'll know more then with regards to Thurs and Friday".

Again, day to day info. So, I posted an ad on a local minding site and I'm interviewing a lady tomorrow to work to the end of the summer. For Sept we're thinking time to move away from CM and manage with after-school care and ourselves for holidays. I feel a bit of relief to be honest - she has had us on the back foot for years with her reliability and this is the straw that is breaking our camel back.

I'm a childminder and I took a week off with COVID in October. Before that, I think I've had one day off in the last 3 years (that includes for both myself and my children (both with additional needs).

I work Term Time Only at parental request and my contracts say that I can take up to 5 weeks off but I never do. I have a break in the hols.

Do you pay for her sick days? If yes she is taking the mick, I think I had off about 4 days in nearly 10 years of childminding, and those were just days myself and my children had a sick bug from one of the little ones and I was waiting the 48 hours to pass to be able to open again.

Find another childminder. She doesn’t need time off to look after her 22 year old son!

One of the fab things about childminding is that you can usually work while your kids are sick!

I'm shocked you're still with her tbh. I'd have binned her off months ago.

She does sound quite unreliable, unless of course she has just been unlucky in regards to illness recently. If she doesn’t charge when closed then I’m sure she would rather stay open. I know I can’t afford to close so do so as little as possible. I’ve even cut my holidays short this year and I’m not taking as many as usual (I don’t take many to begin with)

just a couple of points worth mentioning. She doesn’t ‘work for you’, you are not her boss you use her services. She is her own boss with her own business. Also, I see you are meeting with another childminder. You are not ‘interviewing’ her as you stated, you are going to see if she provides a service that is suitable for your needs and you are a good match as such. When parents visit me it’s a chance for us both to see if what I offer will be a good fit for them (and they and their child like me) and equally if I feel my setting is suitable for the family, the child will fit well into our little group and I can work well in partnership with the parents.

In fairness, I do think this time around she has been unlucky with illness. We don’t pay her when she is unwell as per her own contract. The hard thing is managing the day to day drip feeding of info with. 9 a.m. text “I’ll be back to work on Thurs”, 9.30 p.m. text “actually I won’t be back Thurs” each day. My husband called her yesterday to let her know we would be taking someone on board for a few weeks to give us some badly needed respite and allow her proper time to rest and get through her illness. She was really really shocked. He said fine, we can hold off and you come back instead if you’re better? She said no actually she couldn’t come back as still had covid.

@Looloo278 Point taken on service vs work for us, it wasn’t intentional. I also fully agree that it works both ways with childminders, there has to be a common culture between minder and family for it to work well.

I am usually a firm advocate for childminders as I think they have a challenging job however yours does sound completely unreliable.

I would be actively looking for childcare elsewhere for the summer and making plans for September.

Many childminders will have school break spaces as the term time children will be home with parents (our childminder is an example of this as DH and I both teach) so look elsewhere for holiday cover.

Time off to care for the 22 year old son would have had her sacked off for me, nevermind all the uncertainty and mind changing. Get rid OP. Tell her that as you and DH work and you've used all your A/L, you are going to have to find a new CM. Wish her well and move on.

I would have binned her off ages ago. When she refused to do her job in order to look after a 20 year old.

Does she come to your house to look after your children? Does she look after any other children at the same time?