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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Are you sending your nannies home?

34 replies

Laissonslesjoliesfemmes · 04/01/2021 14:19

I know she's allowed to work and she's happy to come, but it doesn't really feel right. It's childcare but it's also mixing households. We'd keep her on full pay as per the first lockdown. Or am I over-reacting and everyone else's nannies will keep coming in?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

borageforager · 04/01/2021 14:21

Are they comfortable to still come in to work? Don’t you need the childcare? I’m currently shitting myself how to find childcare for my 9 and 5 year olds if school closes (not entitled to key worker place but expected by work to come in anyway), so if I had a nanny there is no chance I would be sending them home if they were happy to continue to work.

Original poster

Laissonslesjoliesfemmes · 04/01/2021 14:53

She's happy to come and we need the childcare (as do people without nannies - part of my qualm is driven by feeling guilty that we have this option). Nobody is vulnerable at either end and we're all very careful.

OP posts:

BlairCorneliaWaldorf · 04/01/2021 14:55

Definitely not sending our nanny home.

BlairCorneliaWaldorf · 04/01/2021 14:56

Don’t feel guilty. Just be respectful of your colleagues, friends, etc that don’t have the option.

borageforager · 04/01/2021 15:02

Don’t feel guilty! I know what you mean though, last lockdown I was a SAHP & I felt conscious how much easier (not that it was easy) it was for me not trying to balance work as well. But we all have our own challenges...! If nobody is vulnerable and she is still happy to come to work I don’t see any reason not to continue, & to send her home out of guilt would be ridiculous.

Original poster

Laissonslesjoliesfemmes · 04/01/2021 15:14

It's mostly a feeling that it's not quite in the spirit of things, with a layer of guilt! I am also worried she might not tell me if she doesn't feel safe. I guess I feel household mixing is either safe or it's not. So, if it's not, should I ask her to come in? Then I remember how awful it was starting at 5am/finishing at midnight last time. I guess I'm just after a yardstick of what everyone else with a nanny is doing as one small part of my decision making.

OP posts:

Waterdropsdown · 04/01/2021 15:17

Don’t feel guilty, you are allowed to use a nanny and the nanny isn’t vulnerable. I would do things like making sure transport is as risk free as possible, for example does nanny have a car? If not and you do let her use yours.

Original poster

Laissonslesjoliesfemmes · 04/01/2021 15:22

No public transport involved. I guess it's as safe as it can be. We have a very strict cleaning regime and work in a home office so it's just her and the DC in the house. I don't know. It just still doesn't quite sit right somehow. Thanks everyone for your thoughts!

OP posts:

GlowingOrb · 04/01/2021 15:31

As long as she doesn’t have to use public transport, I think it’s ok.

nbee84 · 04/01/2021 22:07

I'm a nanny that has worked throughout. I felt perfectly safe - nanny family working from home and having shopping delivered - myself only going out to shop and in a mask (before they were compulsory) and with my own transport to and from work.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 04/01/2021 22:23

I’m also a nanny that has worked throughout. The parent couldn’t work if I wasn’t there. Plus I have a teaching background so I’m pretty useful in that regard. It’s never seemed to be an option at all that I wouldn’t come in- I obviously fall under the category of not being able to work from home.

FreeButtonBee · 04/01/2021 22:30

We furloughed for the first 10 weeks but only as we had another option. This time )and the mini autumn lockdown) she will be working. We are both working from home but going out v minimally and seeing no one (no bubble, no local family).

TBH she said she wanted to come anyway even if it was technically against the rules! My kids are in FT school now but am basically paying a premium to have her on call for this school year so it was part of the deal TBH. Nurseries are also still open so I don’t see any greater risk

AdoraBell · 04/01/2021 22:37

I don’t have a nanny but please do be guilty for having the option OP

Could you work while also looking after your children, getting them drinks, snacks, loo roll if one has unravelled the loo roll while no one is looking, DC arguments? I’m not saying your DC are badly behaved, just the typical behaviour of children pushing boundaries.

Twistiesandshout · 04/01/2021 22:41

Our Nanny is coming in, we couldn't work without her. 3 kids, 2 in primary and a baby under 1. Don't feel guilty, she's an employee and she's happy to work. Just stay as safe and sensible as possible.

Welikebeingcosy · 04/01/2021 22:47

Don't feel guilty for your privelege. Life isn't fair but everyone has an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser from any difficulty they face. You don't know when your down will be and you will need this up to look back on as easier memories. Make the most of it as long as she is happy to do so. Give her the option but I'm sure she would rather come in and have life around her than sit at home watching tv!

Respectabitch · 05/01/2021 17:00

Mine is working. I need her more than ever. She's happy to come and would be miserable at home.

Yes, I'm lucky to have the option, but I have it because I pay for it, and I've scraped to pay for it at times. There's nothing stopping other people from doing the same if they can afford it, even if they haven't used a nanny previously.

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/01/2021 21:21

I worked the first lockdown. And 2nd and now

Tho I’m a mn so also my choice as I’m se

But the seiss payment was rubbish and I hve to work

Nannies could have always worked so use her , you sounds lovelyas you stay out of the way

No many parents do

So keep nanny on but it’s nice too so less hours so if was 8-7 let her do 9-6

SmidgenofaPigeon · 06/01/2021 08:11

Yeah I second adjusting the hours if you now don’t have to commute. My boss hasn’t been into work since last March and it has been a big change for me because I am very much a sole charge nanny but I’ve adjusted slowly. In the first lockdown my hours were 9-5:30 which is quite a ‘nice’ day for a nanny as our days can be much longer than that!

Unfortunately this time round I’m doing my regular 8-6:30, and it feels like a long long day with a commute on top and homeschooling and all the other bits I do on top, I’m rushing around like a madwoman after ‘school’ kicks out to get all the children’s laundry/mending/cooking done.

Original poster

Laissonslesjoliesfemmes · 06/01/2021 10:31

Yes she's working very reduced hours (same pay obviously) as we're happy to have the extra time with DC. I'm also conscious that it's exhausting to have to fill the day without any classes or activities. They're outside as much as they can be but the weather is awful so it's a bit limiting. I think we all need to pull together even more than usual to make sure we all get through this with our nerves intact!

OP posts:

Alexandernevermind · 06/01/2021 10:34

I would keep her coming - she is probably bubbling with your family anyway (although I would check), and now that the children aren't at school there is much less risk to her.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 06/01/2021 10:55

Can I just say something because it annoys me

People sometimes assume nannies are spinsters who either live with their families or live alone. I have never lived in because I find it too intense. I have a husband and my own life! So I wouldn’t be just bubbled with my work, I’m not in a bubble- my husband goes out to work too, and if I did happen to be furloughed I wouldn’t just be sitting around watching TV feeling sad to be honest I’d enjoy the break and opportunity to learn a new skill as many others have done whilst at home.

I use public transport to get to work. I shop at weekends, sometimes going to multiple shops. When it was allowed for a bit I went out to pubs and restaurants too! My boss knows all this. I have a life outside of work shock horror!! Totally up to her to take the risk of having me come in because she can’t do without a nanny and I’m totally on board with that, but I don’t give up my life for it.

Respectabitch · 06/01/2021 11:51

Fair, smidgen! My nanny doesn't have her own DC, but she does have a spouse and a life.

eurochick · 06/01/2021 12:00

You would mad to give up your nanny out of guilt!

We also have a nanny. She is still working and did through lockdown #1. We both work full time in intense jobs, often requiring long hours. We couldn't do them without her help. She is legally entitled to work as she cannot carry out her job from home and the guidance even makes specific reference to nannies. We present little risk to her - we both work at home and only go out to exercise or food shop. She presents a bigger risk to us (larger household and her husband works in hospitals) but it's a risk we are prepared to take as we are not clinically vulnerable and need her to be able to do our jobs.

Original poster

Laissonslesjoliesfemmes · 06/01/2021 12:18

She's not bubbling with us, no. She's prepared to be extra-careful to protect us and we're prepared to be extra-careful to protect her (and we've done so ever since she came back in the summer). She's been with us quite a long time so we're all very invested in the relationship and we care about one another, hence my initial worry about whether I should be asking her to come in. We had a really good conversation about it all over the phone last night and we're all happy with things as they are.

OP posts:

starsinyourpies · 06/01/2021 12:23

I am on mat leave, baby due any day and ours is coming to look after the older 2 DC! I am so grateful for her but we did have a chat to make sure she feels safe. No public transport needed which I think makes a big difference. She is also working reduced hours on same pay.

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