Who is able to take care of your child when you go away for a weekend or holiday?

[PeppyPiggy]

I'm totally clueless, are nannies able to do this? Or childminders? Babysitters? obviously this is something I am looking to for AFTER lockdown and when it is feasible.

DD is 5. None of her family on my side or her dads side are interested in spending that much time with her so our support network is pretty much non existent. Whenever I google search "nannies for overnights" it only ever brings me up results regarding purely night time nannies for babies.

I want to work out a way of having my DD with someone trustworthy for a couple weekends a month and maybe also one night a week, can anyone point me in the right direction? I just have no idea.

You could contact childminders in your area? Not sure who else, friends ?

Bump

School friends. Wouldn't ever consider paying a stranger to do this except in an absolute emergency.

We are in a similar boat but have 3 kids so no one wants them over night. Unless you have parents / siblings / other family members or good friends who will have them I’m afraid you can’t go. Don’t know if any other options!

I have had babysitter /childcare jobs off a reputable site. Once I had a toddler for a weekend. Had spent time with him prior to the weekend. They were originally strangers though... You can request DBS checked minders only. What about a neighbour /friend's dm?

No one. Haven't had a weekend away or a holiday in 10 years. But I have kids with SN so it's not simple for us.

There are nanny agencies, contact them and ask. There might be one looking for adhoc hours like that. It'll be expensive though.

I’m a bit confused. Is this for the odd weekend away, or so you can work? A couple of weekends a months is essentially half the weekends in a year!

You want to leave your 5 year old with someone a couple of weekends a month?

A couple of weekends a month and once midweek is quite a lot, even if you did have family willing.

School friends parents, do monthly swaps? (once life back to normal)

Childminder likely to be very expensive, understandably so; formal overnight care is £££.

Or just go away as a family unit, once a month?

(Bit unsure about why you want to overnight your kid elsewhere once a week, what's that all about?)

I think the ideal is to build up this relationship over time so that trust is built on all sides.

I'm guessing that once lockdown is over and the dust settled there'll be plenty of people out there who want to earn some extra money in this way.

Maybe ask around school friends (do you have a school WhatsApp group?) local agencies and childminders.

Once you've identified somebody you think will work, start with a short daytime or evening babysit and slowly build up the amount of time as you all feel comfortable.

I don't think I sounds doable to be honest.
I'd only leave my child overnight with someone they had a close relationship with.

Two weekends a month and one night a week? What?? Every week ? WTF. I don’t know anyone who leaves their kids that often to go away even with family support. I certainly don’t know anyone who has paid a babysitter to cover a weekend when they’re away the entire time ( rather than shift work) so perhaps adjust your expectations about what’s reasonable when you have children.

A couple of weekends a month?? Seriously?

EOW and one night a week sounds like something you would look for in a custody decision where your child would be with the other parent. Why do you want to voluntarily spend so little time with your child and leave them with someone they don’t know?!

One night a week and 2 weekends a month! Do you know that this equates to about 20% of the time? Is this for work or socialising? Most people have to wait until their kids have gone to university to get this level of freedom back!

Anyway, I'm sure that if you are willing to pay £££ one of the nanny agencies would be able to find you someone.

It’s not a role that is generally offered by a professional. It’s more a job for grandparents/uncles/aunts/friends. Since we don’t have any of these nearby, we havn’t been away with it children for nearly 12 years. I did have a few nights in hospital with hyperemis and then after my crash section with Dc2, but well, that’s it.

Oh gosh, this moved quickly while I was posting. I thought you meant an occasional w/e. You need to find some very bespoke nanny care, which will be pricey, even if it’s available.

Unless you're loaded and have a nanny this is just one of those things you dream of - we occasionally have a night away if grandparents offer to have our three but as they're getting older (kids and grandparents!) the offers are infrequent -we last went away May 2018 minus kids!!
If you just have one kid you nat drop luckily occasionally with sleepovers at friends but you would probably need to still be fairly local just in case they get homesick (I've had this happen with kids staying at mine ) and want or need to come home

Do you have any friends you can ask for recommendations of babysitters? I babysit for a number of families who are all friends and essentially recommended me to each other. I’ve never done overnights for them before but was a very experienced nanny a few years ago so would if they ever asked me to

Occasional weekend away, or maybe even longer... as a nanny I have done that for families whom I know, so for whom I was already nanny or babysitter. It's costly (depending on the actual hours needed it could be £600+ for a weekend), so I don't find much call for it.

A couple weekends a month and maybe also one night a week is a lot more than an ad-hoc babysitter/nanny would typically be doing. Maybe look at having someone as an employee on that basis, cost wise it could be costing you £1000-£1500 a month, so not talking small amount.

You can find nannies and babysitters on Childcare.co.uk and other such sites. Contact people and ask them. They may want to start with doing occasional evenings, then doing the weekends later on once they know you and DD better.

You could split up with her dad, that would provide you with a couple of childfree weekends a month.

The way that other people do it is that they don't. I've had 3 weekends away without my children in 13 years. That's the downside of having kids - they completely put the kibosh on doing stuff without them

Before this gets to be a pile on, can I just point out that OP hasn't said why she needs this? It could be work or illness related for example.

My childminder offers overnights, but haven’t used it before - it would be quite expensive so would avoid it for that reason. I would happily leave DS with her for a few days and nights because he knows her and I obviously trust her, I couldn’t imagine having a virtual stranger taking him for numerous days and nights. I’m also not sure if a childminder would happily take a child they didn’t already know and look after under those circumstances - and you would still need someone as a back up to take him if there was an emergency. Sorry this is really tricky to get around. It’s a shame your family can’t help.

Ds is 4, weve only left him 3 times in 4 years. A week when we went on honeymoon that was with mil. The other 2 occasions were one night things for DH birthday and one for my birthday, both times my DM has stayed at our house with him.

I want to work out a way of having my DD with someone trustworthy for a couple weekends a month

You are going to struggle to find someone who is willing to have your child every other weekend. That’s none resident parent territory. I’m really lucky that my PiL are willing to have mine overnight, but that’s about 3 times a year and I thought I was doing really well! Most people don’t have anyone to look after their children at that sort of level.

I suppose you could look at employing a nanny friday - Sunday and then only using them for the weekends you want but it will be really costly.