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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Who is able to take care of your child when you go away for a weekend or holiday?

69 replies

PeppyPiggy · 06/05/2020 16:38

I'm totally clueless, are nannies able to do this? Or childminders? Babysitters? obviously this is something I am looking to for AFTER lockdown and when it is feasible.

DD is 5. None of her family on my side or her dads side are interested in spending that much time with her so our support network is pretty much non existent. Whenever I google search "nannies for overnights" it only ever brings me up results regarding purely night time nannies for babies.

I want to work out a way of having my DD with someone trustworthy for a couple weekends a month and maybe also one night a week, can anyone point me in the right direction? I just have no idea.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BackforGood · 06/05/2020 21:36

@PeppyPiggy - are you going to come back and explain please ?

Bit off to ask for help and not be around to then help people understand.

HalfTermHalfTerm · 06/05/2020 22:13

exactly although on mumsnet that would be considered child abuse.

There is a huge difference between leaving your child for the occasional night/weekend (especially for something like a funeral) and asking for advice on how to find someone to leave your child with for one night every week and every other weekend!

AllsortsofAwkward · 06/05/2020 22:20

Sorry op but its part of being a parent you give up the freedom to come and go as you previously did the amount you're wanting is unrealistic and non resident parent territory.

backinthebox · 06/05/2020 22:23

Both my husband and I have jobs that take us away for several days at a time on a regular basis. We try to time it so that we are away at different times, but sometimes our work overlaps. Although we have had a daytime nanny for much of our children's lives, we only leave them overnight with either my mother, sister or one trusted friend. Colleagues of mine have employed nannies who stay overnight, but they are usually expensive. Yes, you pay them for the hours they are asleep at your house.

For those raising an eyebrow, the OP has not explained why she is asking about overnight care. There are many reasonable explanations as to why she might need this - work or respite being the main perfectly acceptable reasons. However, if she just wants to go clubbing and stay out late every other weekend or go away with her friends I'll join you on the judgey step. Until then - give her the benefit of the doubt.

SoupDragon · 06/05/2020 22:25

although on mumsnet that would be considered child abuse.

Don't be ridiculous.

SoupDragon · 06/05/2020 22:26

There are many reasonable explanations as to why she might need this

Well, a holiday is what she said 🤷🏻‍♀️

fascinated · 06/05/2020 22:29

Lockdown has broken OP, clearly. Feel sorry for her child!

SoupDragon · 06/05/2020 22:30

What evidence do you have to suggest it wouldn't?

What evidence do you have to suggest that it would? I do have evidence that *not^ ditching my children every other weekend has turned 2/3 of them into independent adults so far.

georgialondon · 06/05/2020 22:31

I take them with us!

emelsie · 06/05/2020 23:11

I hate when people say leaving children anywhere will make them less needy , children are not needy, they form an attachment to their main caregiver and palming them off just makes that attachment insecure.

And in answer to the OP, the days are long but the years are short , so you wait til they are grown up for the most part.

PamDenick · 07/05/2020 08:35

Who knows what the OPs needs might be? Maybe she’s a member of the aristocracy and needs to go to give out trophies at polo matches. Maybe she needs the break for her mental health? Maybe she’s the most hands on , home schooling, banana bread baking mum 24/7 so a couple of weekends at a yoga retreat will keep her balanced?

fascinated · 07/05/2020 09:35

Agree try boarding school, OP.

backinthebox · 07/05/2020 09:35

As someone who in normal times typically leaves my children behind while I work on average 6-8 nights a month, I am judged on a regular basis for my lifestyle. I’ve had other mothers and even the school secretary say to my face ‘what sort of a mother does that?’ The sort of mother who is doing a job which means that for the remaining 20 days a month I am there 24/7 for them and earning enough money to keep them in ponies/holidays/music lessons/ etc. We have a lovely life, but it needs a nanny, a functioning father and family to make it work. I do also have 2 short breaks each year with my best friend - no kids. Shoot me now! OP’s title mentions ‘going away for a weekend or holiday’ but her post doesn’t. Since she’s disappeared we have no idea what she’s up to. She could be working away and no idea how to ask where you find childcare for that situation so asked about holidays instead. Or she could have some kind of magic situation where she can go on holiday every weekend (the rest of us can’t right now!) but best to save your s till we find out more.

fascinated · 07/05/2020 09:39

Backinthebox, she said

We go away

Not

I go away

Plenty parents are away regularly for work but as it’s essential it’s not generally regarded in the same way. I certainly wouldn’t judge you. Who are these rude people mumsnetters know? Unreal that someone would say that to you.

As for OP she makes it sound as if she and her OH want to bugger off for a fun time without their child. Which, if true, would be very sad for the child and in my opinion possibly even harmful psychologically for the child in the long run. Feeling rejected in that way.

Divebar · 07/05/2020 10:15

There’s no way the OP was asking for work reasons - she would have said in the post for a start or would have returned to clarify.

malovitt · 08/05/2020 10:32

@backinthebox I don't charge from midnight until 6am when I stay overnight although I understand most nannies do.

I quite like the change of scenery to be honest!

myself2020 · 12/05/2020 08:40

Some nannies do that - usually for shift workers who work weekends). it will be expensive though!

Nagsnovalballs · 12/05/2020 08:55

Meh, I was the child of a LP who worked long hours and had to go overseas for work. I had a nanny. It was fine.
My dad fucked off before I was born and paid nothing for me and we had 3 recessions that punctuated my childhood 87, 92 and 2007 (I was at uni for the last) so my mum had to work the job she did. It was fine. When she was home, she could afford to spend great quality time with me. Mum also had the nanny look after me when she occasionally crashed and burned and needed to spend a weekend recharging (mum was medicated for depression and anxiety her whole life). I’m fine! PhD and professional job, happily married, great friendship group. Mum and I have a very close if difficult relationship, but that’s because of our personalities and not because she had a nanny help raise me! My mental health issues are inherited and associated with autism, not because of my childhood, which was in many ways pretty idyllic (ponies, skiing, football, rugby).

80sMum · 12/05/2020 09:04

Good grief, it sounds like you're looking for a sort of "kennel for kids" OP! What child of 5 would be comfortable staying on his/her own with a total stranger while mum went off on holiday?!

I'm afraid the way it works is that either you take the child with you on holiday, or you don't have a holiday!

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