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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

PARENTS who use a childminder................would you mind giving me your thoughts............

41 replies

looneytune · 13/09/2007 09:40

I'm a childminder and am currently trying for our 2nd baby. I haven't told parents yet because it may never happen or could take ages so I don't see the point just yet, however, will do early on if I'm successful.

I'm forward planning atm and toying with lots of idea's for time off i.e. take just a couple of weeks off, take couple of months off, get an assistant temporarily etc.

Please would you give me your thoughts on this. For example, how would you react to your childminder informing you she was pregnant?

Would a pregnant childminder put you off and make you give notice?

If you didn't leave the childminder because she was pregnant, would you be happy to use another childminder for a couple of months and then come back?

Would you be happy with an assistant being used for a few months?

What are your thoughts on this?

Anyone been in this situation with their own childminder?

All feedback would be much appreciated, many thanks.

LT xx

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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eleusis · 14/09/2007 09:29

Looney, chill out.

Here's my advice:

Get pregnant.
Try to stay awake through the first trimester.
Think about how and when to tell the parents.

Don't tell anyone a year in advance. That is a long time where anything can happen. And you don't want to scare away new customers. Put your business hat on and do what you feel is fair. But, you don't need permission to make a baby.

franyfroo · 14/09/2007 09:58

i would go with the assistant thing.....as long as its someone you can really trust and then you could just be in the background, for a while. I would have 2 weeks off and then you should not get any complaints..........or, register dh as an assistant and take 2 weeks off, then him have 2 weeks off after this to cover.........this would give you a month off before going back to work?

Original poster

looneytune · 14/09/2007 10:16

mumlove - I know what you're saying, I just worry coz I did have a very very quiet patch a while back and I know this is never guaranteed work but I'm trying to be careful as my income is VERY MUCH needed now we've moved house!

eleusis - I know! I wasn't planning on telling any of them until I was 3 months pregnant, just felt bad but I'm not risking it after what happened when dh told his work. My reasons for worrying about it now is like what I said to mumlove.

franyfroo - I did actually think about looking into the extended leave for fathers, I'm sure they have that now???? I'll go and check as if this is possible, it wouldn't matter he wouldn't be paid at work because it would save me having to pay for an assistant

OP posts:

eleusis · 14/09/2007 10:18

What happend to your DH at work?

Original poster

looneytune · 14/09/2007 10:22

I mentioned in message at 12:04:18 yesterday

OP posts:

eleusis · 14/09/2007 10:56

Oh I'm sorry. Should read the thread. Have read it now.

Original poster

looneytune · 14/09/2007 11:09

Don't be sorry, just explains why I can't go telling people and after coming on here and parents responding, I feel better about it and don't feel like I'm going behind backs by taking on new business etc.

OP posts:

canmummy · 14/09/2007 11:22

Hi there, I had a pregnant childminder once. She was only temporary as MIL was unwell and I was only working to cover somebody's maternity leave.

But my biggest bit of advice is to be honest with the parents asap. The thing is I knew she was pregnant just after we started using her (ie a week or 2 later as we had mutual friends that she didn't know about). She didn't own up for months - even after she started showing and tried to make out it was some huge surprise to her

So although I wouldn't recommend telling them early, I would recommend telling them first!

Original poster

looneytune · 14/09/2007 11:26

Oh god, as soon as we're ready to tell people, I'm happy to tell them. Tbh, I want them to know as early as possible too as I want an idea of how they feel about it all so I can plan things Oh.....that's bad about your CM but I know another sort of local CM who used to be a friend and I couldn't believe that she didn't tell any parents even when she was about to drop She just wore baggy jumpers and insisted they couldn't notice. I thought she was terrible for not telling them!!!

OP posts:

CeciC · 14/09/2007 19:34

Hi LT, I am a mum who is using a CM for my DD2 and had one for DD1. I don't think my CM is thingking of having another baby, but if she was, I would like to know as soon as possible. I think, I would like for her to have an "assistant" to help with the minding, because I think, it would be great for my LO to get to know a small baby, but at the same time, they still will have the same carer.
I wish you best of luck trying and you succed very soon!!

TheDuchess · 14/09/2007 19:43

I chose to go with our childminder when she was pregnant. We liked her so much and she was willing to give it a go so we went with it. With a bit of flexibility on all sides it has worked well.

Baby now a few weeks old and she is ready to take on her mindees again, what a relief! Good for our little one to have a younger baby around I think.

Good luck with TTC.

tori32 · 14/09/2007 20:01

Hi LT I cm and found out a few weeks back that I was pregnant again. My latest mindee hadn't started at the time but the parents were fine. I assured them that I would try to find a suitable space for her nearer the time. I work in a group although not officially a network member so one of my colleagues (shoshable) is taking her for mat leave of 6 mths. I would be honest because howlong can youhide it for realistically. Don't tell them about trying, but definately tell them when you are as soon as possible. I planned mine so that the toddlers could go to pre-school. If you have a baby I would say asap because finding space for that age is really hard and if you drop parents in it they might bad mouth you to prospective parents.

girrafey · 15/09/2007 11:36

hi. i had a similar experience. i was honest when my old mindee started with me at 8 months that we would be trying for another baby within a few months. i then fell pregnant with twins. which i sadly lost at 4 months. ( even only took couple of days so not to let her down) when i had been pregnant discussed all options with her and we were going to take on my sis in law as an assistant and then take off 3 weeks after they were born.
well we kept trying and eventually fell pregnant at the start of this year. was very worried and told her asap at around 6-7 weeks. i was very sick, throwng up 15-20 times a day yet NEVER took a day off work. sadly i had a problem with bleeding and my placenta was slowly ripping round the edges so i was told to take it as easy as possible. i have a dd the same age as mindee so we discussed it and decided i would still have him, just change our routine abit. my mum and mother in law would come over and take them out with me so they could lift them etc, and we stayed in more local parks and done lots of baking etc. she knew how rough i felt and we talked about the fact that as he was term time only i would stop having him in july, as then they have summer holidays and then they were going to south africa for a month and by then i would be 8 months so she would arrange care for that month. ( does have family around) and then start back with me when baby born.

However on the last week that i was to have him before the holidays she gave me my notice. I was heart broken. we had been friends before she asked my to care for her ds, and i felt betrayed that she had done this without talking about it with me. i wish she had told me she had doubts or wasnt happy etc. espiecially as she KNEW i had turned down a full time mindee ( he was only part time) as i didnt want to feel over stretched with my dd him and new baby. if she had told me i could of taken on new mindee, and my dp and i wouldnt be in as tight as position as we are in now. my dd misses him terrible and asks for him all the time. yet sadly she has not stayed in contact after 2 years of caring for him.

god im so sorry its so long. didnt realise how much it had upset me still. just wanted you to think about the worst case and whether you could afford to lose your mindess or not?

sunnyshine · 25/09/2007 18:16

looneytune everything went ok with me. older mindees are all leaving which is ok as wanted to change schools anyway and younger mindee is going to a friend for 4 months then coming back! hooray!

Nod26 · 26/09/2007 13:32

Im a cm and 3mths pregnant i told my parents as soon as i knew really and they were all fine bout it just asked me to keep them informed and as much notice as posible for time off. I have thought bout it and intend to work up untill having baby as i did with my first child then discussed it with parents to save 4 weeks of my holidays 2 from this year and 2 from next so i can have paid time off as i also have just moved house and need the income, my parents are fine with this and are being very supportive.

twofishes · 27/09/2007 16:18

Had a CM in past where we used to live who was pregnant, she organised an assistant for 4 weeks which worked great and then went back to normal afterwards.....

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