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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

PARENTS who use a childminder................would you mind giving me your thoughts............

41 replies

looneytune · 13/09/2007 09:40

I'm a childminder and am currently trying for our 2nd baby. I haven't told parents yet because it may never happen or could take ages so I don't see the point just yet, however, will do early on if I'm successful.

I'm forward planning atm and toying with lots of idea's for time off i.e. take just a couple of weeks off, take couple of months off, get an assistant temporarily etc.

Please would you give me your thoughts on this. For example, how would you react to your childminder informing you she was pregnant?

Would a pregnant childminder put you off and make you give notice?

If you didn't leave the childminder because she was pregnant, would you be happy to use another childminder for a couple of months and then come back?

Would you be happy with an assistant being used for a few months?

What are your thoughts on this?

Anyone been in this situation with their own childminder?

All feedback would be much appreciated, many thanks.

LT xx

OP posts:

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PinkChick · 13/09/2007 09:43

hi, dont 'use ' a cm obviously, but to be honest as a parent, it would be a bit of'oh god what will we do now' kinda thing, but tbh you trying for a baby is none of anyone elses business, like you say might take a while, might happen straight away?, when you do fall i would keep it to yourself normal time(3 months-12 weeks) until all is definatly well, then speak to the parents and let them know..also what i would do is start putting your feeliers out now for back ups ie temp childminders to cover any leave you may have..even compile list including number of cis, emergency childcare etc..then if you decide you are not going to work/work as much as you were before when its time to go back you muct let them know asap so they can then arrange care for their little ones..hope that helps, from a mums POV

Original poster

looneytune · 13/09/2007 09:46

Hiya mate, thanks for that. Yes, was planning on waiting for the 3 months as after loosing one before ds, I don't want to tempt fate . Ideally I THINK I'd like 2 months off but I've really built this into a good business and things couldn't be better atm and so I'll do anything I can to keep it. Plus....you get really attached to your mindees don't you and I would really like to keep the ones I've got IF POSSIBLE

OP posts:

bozza · 13/09/2007 09:49

Well I am a Mum who uses a childminder but I would be very surprised if my CM announced a pregnancy as I imagine she would be since she already has 3 adult children!

Also my DS is school age and so only there for before/after school care and holidays. He has been with my childminder for over 2 years now (since he started school) and as we live in a village I think he would pretty much know all the other childminders and be happy to go with any of them as they all have chidren from his school that he would know. So I would be happy with that situation. But I imagine it is more of an issue to parents with younger children.

PinkChick · 13/09/2007 09:49

well this sounds dodgy, but when the time comes, judge who you wouldnt mind having sooner(ie let one or two come back earlier than some others if they are really no trouble to look after ) and see if you can stagger them coming back? ease yourself back into it as im sue it will be hard to begin with with your own new baby..i assume you wont be charging anything while you're off anyway so parent only paying one lot of child care?, tricky one though!

Original poster

looneytune · 13/09/2007 09:50

Thanks and oh god no, won't be charging!!!

OP posts:

bozza · 13/09/2007 09:51

What age are the children you look after? I suppose you could offer to meet up with whover the temporary childminder is a couple of times a week through your pg to ease the transition for the children when the time comes.

ejt1764 · 13/09/2007 09:55

Not been in this situation with my CM, but, thinking about the CM that we use, it wouldn't make me give notice - she's too good!

If this happened, I'd probably appreciate some help (from CM) finding a CM for the maternity cover - that way I'd know that it was somebody she trusted and rated (iyswim)

Good luck with ttc.

Guitargirl · 13/09/2007 10:10

Am with ejt1764 - definitely wouldn't make me give notice as we are really happy with our CM. I would prob be happiest with the assistant option for the same reasons - would know it was someone CM trusts, etc. rather than us going through the whole process of finding another unknown CM from scratch.

Good luck - hope all goes well!

Original poster

looneytune · 13/09/2007 10:25

Bozza - the children's ages are........

3 days a week:

8 months (youngest they would be when baby born is 1.6yrs)
2.2 (youngest they would be when baby born is 2.11 and maybe going to pre-school, baby's sibling)
3.9 (youngest they would be when baby born is 4.6. I just have from 2.45-6, probably will be doing an hour in morning too, Term Time only)
4.5 (ds who will be at school full time by then)

2 days a week:

7 months (youngest they would be when baby born is 1.4yrs)
3.9 (youngest they would be when baby born is 4.6. I just have from 2.45-6, probably will be doing an hour in morning too, Term Time only)
4.5 (ds who will be at school full time by then)

It gets a bit more complicated because I have people booked in from January too as ds goes to school full time. 1 day will be the 7 month old I already have 2 days, new mindee who will be 10 months in Jan will be doing 3 days and then a I may be having my friend's little one for 1 day (who will be 1.5 in Jan so youngest would be when baby born is 1.10)

Sorry, said it gets complicated. I currently have a variation for 4 under 5's which will run out in Dec when the pre-schooler becomes an over 5. So, I'd have to ask for another variation and see what they say as my baby would take me over numbers again.

ejt1764 - that's so lovely, that's what I hope my parents will feel too I was planning on trying my best to get cover from the local childminders as the children will then know them.

Right, time to get baby up and take them to toddler group. Will check back later, thanks for the messages so far

OP posts:

Original poster

looneytune · 13/09/2007 10:29

Guitargirl - sorry, wasn't ignoring you, took that long to type out what mindees I have when!

Thanks again, everyone has been so nice. I thought I was going to get loads of parents having a go because I'm ttc behind parents backs but tbh, I don't know how long this ttc will take (have family history of POF which could be a problem) and I didn't want the added pressure of telling people right now (they could get stressed unnecessarily or I could get asked every week 'are you pregnant yet' like I do from my family - yeah.....should have kept my mouth shut )

Right, really must go now, baby needs to play with other babies

Thanks

OP posts:

Rubybees · 13/09/2007 11:21

LT when I first started cm I was was pg 3 months after first started but I was honest and upfront about the fact I was trying

Unfortunalty due to compliations I had to stop having mindie at 34 weeks and my dd (now 3 ) kept trying to come early butI only had one child that I mindied when I fiorst started so it wasn't really that bad saying I had to stop

Oh BTW the mum was lovely about me being pg and didn't put her off

EffiePerine · 13/09/2007 11:35

I would be fine about it as long as my cm provuded plenty of info, i.e.

when baby due
when planning to stop work
when planning to return (last 2 obv flexible but a rough idea useful)
how I can fill the gap - wither recommending other cms with suitable vacancies or employing an assistant

Original poster

looneytune · 13/09/2007 12:04

Rubybees - so you told them when they came to meet you that you were trying for a baby and it didn't put them off? That's lucky I'm afraid I just can't face telling them I'm trying as I feel that is tempting fate (when I was pregnant before ds, dh was so excited he just had to tell his old work colleagues one lunchtime and met up at the pub and told them (early) - whilst he was at the pub telling them, I started MCing ). Plus with the extra worries about whether or not I can even conceive......I just don't think I should be telling them I'm ttc.

EffiePerine - that's great, thanks This is why I'm thinking of it all now so that I can get my head around options, what's best etc. so that I can make it as easy as possible for the parents.

OP posts:

Original poster

looneytune · 13/09/2007 13:27

Bumping to see if there are any other parents with views on this?

OP posts:

bitzermaloney · 13/09/2007 13:45

Looneytune - lol at "ttc behind parents' backs"... I should hope so!

I have a 13 month old p/time with a cm who has had ds for 3 months. He was with a different cm before that but we had become increasingly unhappy with her, hence the new cm, who is wonderful (I was a lot more clued up when interviewing this time!).

So if she became pg I would be gutted as it would mean another disruption for ds, but as she is so good I would not want to give notice, unless she wasn't coming back for a long time. And I'd agree with the others that it would be good if the temporary care was with someone she endorsed.

I suppose I might worry a bit about how much attention ds would get afterwards, but tbh I think she is such a pro it wouldn't be a problem.

bitzermaloney · 13/09/2007 13:49

Seriously you should not be worrying about not telling parents till you are pg and past scans etc... it's none of their business that you are ttc!

Original poster

looneytune · 13/09/2007 13:50

well, I couldn't have them watching now!!!

I'm hoping that parents would be ok about the attention thing as I'm a good little octopus and have had to be for a while. Had lots of babies to look after and the 2 I have atm have been with me since they were 7 weeks and 8 weeks old so very much needing lots of attention themselves.

Well, I'll only know as and when the time happens but it's great to have all this feedback so please, keep it coming and thanks everyone for being so nice about it all

OP posts:

bozza · 13/09/2007 16:11

Another aspect you will have to consider is what will happen when you have your ante-natal appts.

Original poster

looneytune · 13/09/2007 16:34

Good point, will have to get advice on that too!! So much to think about!

OP posts:

eleusis · 13/09/2007 17:00

Have only read OP.

I wouldn't leave because you announced you were pregnant. But, if I was going to be in a pickle for two months of cover and there was another childminder available I might transfer over to her. And if she said she would only take mine on a long term arrangement and didn't fancy being cut off after two months than I might have to take her permanently. However, if you could arrange a two month temporary arrangement and assure me you were coming back to pick up where you left off after the two months, then I would love you forever and definately would stay.

Also, while I would leave because you were pregnant, it might put me off becoming a new customer.

To be honest, if I were you, I wouldn't announce it to the parents until you were ready to announce it to everyone and for many people that means around 14 weeks.

Original poster

looneytune · 13/09/2007 18:36

Don't believe it, typed a long reply, pressed preview and the internet went and when i pressed backup it still wasn't there

Anyway, I basically thanked eleusis for her fab honest reply and hopefully I can find temp cover so they all 'love me forever'

I may decide to have some children back earlier, we'll see. I know it's the school runs and all the rushing around that worries me more than having the children here playing in my house.

If I can't find temp cover then I'm pretty sure I'll go with the hiring an assistant. Maybe they could do the school runs (need to look into whether or not this is allowed)?

OP posts:

Peachy · 13/09/2007 18:39

I would have no probs with my cm being pg, unlikely as she's agran! but I suppose in all honesty if I had tor esettle DS somewhere, I wouldn't want to resettle them back- it would be a permanent shift iyswim.

An assistant might be OK if absed at the same place or already known beforehand

Original poster

looneytune · 13/09/2007 18:48

Peachy - thanks for your honest answer. I understand the thing about not wanting to go back if settled somewhere else. Difficult one for me. I suppose the family I most don't want to loose (because of the children though, not the parents but that's a different story) are the ones with 2 sisters I have since 6 months and 7 weeks (now 2.2 yrs and 9 months). These parents use lots and lots of different people to care for their children all the time and I'm pretty sure that the re-settling bit wouldn't bother them, if they didn't come back it's because they've found a better deal. The other baby I have who I'd also very much like to keep (and the parents are FAB) may well prefer to just move on, maybe to nursery as she'd be older.

Oh.....I don't know......I'm not even bloomin pregnant and stressing about it!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

looneytune · 13/09/2007 18:49

p.s. if I employ an assistant, they would be working from my house doing what we already do, just they'd be the more hands on person during that time iyswim.

OP posts:

mumlove · 13/09/2007 19:27

Looney - Relax and stop stressing about all of it. It will sort itself out when needed.
I only have 4 weeks notice on my contracts so mindees can leave at anytime, and there is always other people needing childcare.

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