Childminder forgot to collect child

[MummyNico]

So today our childminder was supposed to collect our 4 yo son from class at end of the day. It's her second day doing this. I got a call from the school at 3:30pm to say nobody had collected my son.
She's brand new to us but was recommended by a friend. What would overreacting look like? Part of me wonders if I should be searching for a new childminder and explaining that I understand it was a new routine but she should have systems in place so that she knows which children she's collecting and I don't have the mental capacity at work to be worrying whether my child has been collected. Other part of me wonders should I give her the benefit of doubt. Would finding alternative childcare be overreacting?
Never used a childminder before but it seems a bit of a red flag when your child is left behind because he hasn't been collected.

I would be changing childminders that’s really unacceptable. I appreciate people make mistakes but forgetting to collect a young child is not one I would forgive.

She didn’t offer to go back and get him?!

Ex childminder of many years here.

If I'd done that, I'd have been mortified and apologising to the parent and to the child. I would have been out of the door like a shot, other mindees is tow to collect him the moment I was made aware and I would have been beside myself with shame.

I would have volunteered to the parent exactly what I had put in place to prevent this happening again and understood completely if the parent had wanted to end the contract with no notice.

If the contract had carried on, I would also have made a point of sending the parent photos of the child walking back with me or playing happily once we were home for a couple of weeks to reassure them.

Her reaction really doesn’t fill me with confidence. In your situation I would be looking for a new cm and would be telling her in no uncertain terms why. Things happen so she could be forgiven for forgetting your son (although that in itself is bad enough), but her lack of reaction and apology is astonishing!

I'm shocked you had to leave your work!

Name change fail too!!

No, she didn't. She said if I wanted I go drop him off once I'd collected him I could. By the time I got to him it was 4pm - she only has him until 4:40pm and I finish at 5pm so that felt a bit of a token gesture.

Haha I noticed the name fail. Should have thought of that before posting but it only occurred to me after posting.

I would tell her not to bill you for any of her time today at the very least.

TBH, she doesn't sound great.

Did she ask after your son, whether he was upset or ask you to pass on an apology? I'd be very worried about having upset him and want to know he was OK.

If she hasn't shown any concern, I'd find someone different who cares about children.

That's not good enough. She wouldn't fix her mistake?? That's shocking.

No, no follow up other than the phone call I had with her at 3:35 to ask why she hadn't collected him. I think that's what is upsetting me the most. She's not asked after him, he's new to school, he would have been stood there alone and wondering why nobody had come for him, and he was excited to see her today so he feels a bit let down.

I wouldn't be at all happy with this and I'd be looking for another childminder ASAP. Or is after school club an option? I hope your son is ok and wasn't too confused or upset at not being collected.

The fact that he was still officially in her care at the point the school notified you means that, in my view, the CM 100% should have gone back and picked him up regardless of the inconvenience.

I could forgive the mistake as a one off but the fact that the CM isn't mortified gives the impression that she doesn't think it's that big a deal and that's what's worrying.

I'd be shocked at her reaction op. She should have been out the door the minute she knew she'd forgotten him.

You do have to consider though, how long will it take you to line up new childcare. I know round here everywhere is full for childcare, especially if you need specific days, so you may be stuck hoping that this CM is going to do a better job for a few months until you can sort something else out.

Your poor son, I honestly think if she fails to get back to you this evening with a proper apology then I would be finding a new cm. If it was me I would be beside myself and apologising profusely whilst offering an immediate refund.
You will be worried each time it gets to 3.20 and wondering if she’s picked him up.

Nowhere near as bad as what happened to a couple that my partner told me about yesterday -
After 6 miscarages the couple succeeded in having a baby. The child minder forgot about the baby in the back of the car. The baby died of heat exhaustion :( So sad.

My view is the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.
Your childminder forgot about your child once, it would happen again.

No I'd be finding a new childminder immediately and asking for refund of sessions made. She's broken your contract.

I'd get a new childminder. I could get past this incident if she had been mortified and extremely apologetic as others have said but its her lack of reaction that's the issue. She should gone straight back to school to get him.

We used a childminder for a few years, she was really organised, kept me informed and I trusted her completely. You have to have that trust, they are responsible for your children.

It is now going to be difficult for you to find alternative arrangements but I think you should leave her

In almost 9 years of minding Ive never forgotten a child. I have alarms and daily lists with me all the time.

If I ever had I would be apologising profusely, offering a full refund and be straight on Amazon to send an apology to your son. The lack of caring is the most upsetting thing I think.

Oh my god, that's horrific. No, it's not as bad as that. Those poor parents.

@kayakingmum

That was in America and not a registered childminder. The rules in America are very different to here and you’d be shocked by the hoops we have to jump through in the UK to become registered with Ofsted including health declarations from gps, DBS, 12 hour paediatric first aid and other training etc. Just to give everyone who reads this thread the heads up so this post doesn’t turn into another childminder bashing thread, although that probably wasn’t your intention.

Op I don’t think you’d be overreacting if you decided to look for another childminder due to her reaction. We’d be mortified if we forgot a child and one of us would have gone straight back to collect them. Maybe have a meeting with her to see what she will put in place to stop this happening in the future. If you are not comfortable leaving your child with her or you feel your trust has gone, it’s best for everyone, including the childminder, for you to look for another childminder

We had a flaky and unreliable childminder but she never forgot pick up! It's the basics, surely

I find the previous comment that most childminders will forget a child somewhat insulting. Good organised professional childminders don't forget children. All the childminders I know have a daily list of children they are collecting so it is impossible to forget a child.

I would look for another childminder. The fact she didn't go and collect your child once she realised her mistake is terrible.

My sons CM forgot him (was at school as did pick up but I'd asked for extra day). As school rang me she rang me so I told school and said I'd ring back. She was already going back up the road in pissing rain and apologising massively. She didn't charge for session either. She's only got 50m from playground when she remembered.

I didn't mind as she handled it well I thought. (I'd also forgotton ds before )

It's not the mistake it's the action after that bothers me.