I?m going to offend lots of people, but if I don?t post I?m going to POP (very long and moany)

[TheGodmother]

In every single profession there is a tiny minority who spoil their reputation, and childminding is just the same. When I was pregnant with dd2 I decided that nursery was too expensive for 2 children and decided to that a childminder was the best option.

For 6 months I lurked on the childminding threads! Boy what an eye opener, don?t get me wrong MOST of the threads were professional and a merit to the profession but some of them.

Thud

I remember a few such as ?Shall I report the mum to SS as she wants me to feed solids to her child at 5 months 28 days!? ?I?ve had 3 kids and have been childminding for 10 years so I know more than first time mother? ok I?m exaggerating ,but after 6 months of reading the threads decided a childminder was not for me.

Anyone still reading? Anyway about 6 weeks ago I was let down in childcare arrangements and ended up with a childminder for 2 days a week.

I normally finish work at 5pm but occasionally, I have to stay late. So rather than be late picking my dcs up and annoying the hell out the CM (see told you I read the threads thoroughly). I booked the times 10am-6pm. I explained the most days I would end up picking them early but she said that was fine.

Anyway the 2nd week I was at CM?s house at 10am, knocking on the door, in the rain, no fecking answer! 10 mins later she comings running round the corner ?Oh sorry, but I have to drop mindee off at playgroup and sometimes they?re late letting us in? Inside I?m seething, I have a meeting at 10.30am and am now going to be late.

Next day same things happens, in fact she is late every time by 10-15 mins. Now why didn?t she say at the initial meeting that she could not make 10am but could make 10.15? So when I have to go to work on time, I have to drop the dcs at 9.30am! Which I do not pay for! I have only needed to do this twice, as I now rearrange my work so as to start 15 mins later!!!

Ok ok so that is annoying enough, but the kids seem happy there, I?m willing to give it a go.

2nd week at CM?s, dd2 comes home singing ?Lunar Jim? or some such nonsense. WTF is Lunar Jim? Apparently they watch TV at CM, stupid, stupid me, didn?t think to ask at the initial meeting if she plonked them in front t of TV and how often. That p**sed me off, but hey my fault for not checking, and DCs still seem happy enough.

A few weeks in and dd2 comes home from CM but an exceptionally sodden nappy, I mean so wet that she couldn?t walk. First of all I was very upset, then I thought she?s probably sat in a puddle or something I will mention to CM next time I see her. We went on leave fro a couple of weeks, and when I got back I mentioned about dd2?s nanppy. She was so angry, when I came to pick them up, she had written a 2 page letter about how you would never leave a baby with such a wet nappy. Emm well my love, you did, I saw it, are you calling me a liar. Ddin?t say any of this! Very strange, all I expected was her to say ?Well that?s strange I would never let a baby have such a wet nappy, I wonder how that happened? I?ll keep an eye on that?

As you can imagine the professional relationship between us is not great, and last week CM said that gossip in the village had said I was moving away, and that she needed to know because obviously she was very popular and had a long waiting list. I couldn?t believe it?I?m NOT moving away and gossip is just that?gossip.

Anyway, last week the cowardly fecker sent me a letter to say ?Due to unavailable circumstances, she was terminating the contract?

I just feel so angry, like I?m going to pop!!! I know it?s the best thing for us to do, we could not continue a professional relationship when we didn?t trust each other. Plus out of the 16 weeks she has been paid for she has actually only looked after my dc for about 10 of them, due to my dds sickness and last minute holidays. Which I always paid her in full for!!!

Why am I so fecking angry?.

that is very scary edam!!

belive me, its not just "the council popping round"
Childminders have to pass an exam in Childminding, and undergo first aid training every 3 years. There is an enhanced check from the Criminal Records Bureau, and an OFSTED inspection before you start, and another within 6 months of you becoming registered. Then most Envoronmental Health departments come and inspect the premises too.
This is the minimum childminders must do. After that there are several quality assurance schemes, and professional qualifications right up to degree level and beyond. So don't just think anyone can be a childminder, its a lot of hard work and a highly regulated and inspected profession.

edam, this must have been a few years ago? i can assure you, things have changed.

Thanks Edam it makes us sound like glorified babysitters which we are not!
There are no end of things we have to go through and standards we have to adhere to. Not to mention all the paper work. Maybe 10 or 15 years ago anyone could do it but they certainly can't now.

To be honest TheGodmother I understand where you are coming from. It does sound appalling, and your anger sounds justified, although you did come to childminding thinking it would be a negative experience.

edam - as a childminder myself, I'm surprised. I have to go through so much lol It was far more than a check for socket covers

I've used childminders and nurseries and think its easier to find a decent childminder than a decent nursery. (And that partyl comes from talking to a number of nursery nurses I know well!)

If you're that anal about TV then the only way you can guarantee your children not seeing it is to employ a nanny and tell him/her they're not allowed to turn it on. Most nurseries have small amounts of TV time. I don't think Lunar Jim is too corrupting.

The repeatedly late drop offs (for you) sound a problem, but it is standard to pay if you're off ill or take a holiday (or was that the childminders last minute holiday? would irritate me to have to pay for that). Just part of childcare costs.

OfstedOutstanding... hope you are not getting at babysitters - some of us babysitters are qualified childcare professionals, I'll have you know

TheGodmother - I feel that childcare arrangements are a huge amount to do with trust, if there is a lack of trust between the parent(s) and provider, then it is best for all concerned for the arrangement to be terminated.

To me you sound as though you want more control over what your children do at the childminders - for example no TV. To get that level of control, you need to have an employee - thus a nanny/mothers help/au-pair. Otherwise, you need to fit in with the childcare service, and put up with things you may not particularly like.

Hunt around for another childminder, and make sure you stipulate your requirements regarding TV watching. You may however find it hard to find a childminder who NEVER has a tv on, though many will restrict viewing (as you will see from other comments on this thread). Timing wise, most childminders will be doing a school/pre-school run, so ask about that and thus arrange timings to suit. However a CM should not say that 10am is possible, when in reality they are not back until after that time.

Sorry nick cos I'm not I know you are a professional babysitter so would never aim it at people like you.