Nursery versus Nanny Dilemma...... please can you share your experiences with me. I am undecided.

[Chelseamum]

Ok, I need help from those of you which has experienced the following situations. Cost is not an issue.

I have a 1 year old daughter with a secure place at a top notch nursery from september.
However I have realised that I won't be able to commute to work, work and commute back on time to fill the 10 hours the nursery will have her. Me and my husband have very demanding careers and long hours are expected.

[1] baby at home with nany living out

or

[2] baby at nursery with aupair living in

My dilemma is as follows. Shall I go for option 1 or 2.

I think that my dd will benefit tremendously interacting with other kiddies her own age and my only worry about the full time nanny is how much interaction she will have with other babies.

Any comments! TIA

full time nanny, imo. she can certainly benefit from, interacting with children her own age, but that can be done through a nanny spending time with other mothers/nannies locally, or going to music groups/toddler groups etc.
much better for a baby's well being to be with one person all day and have that consistency. much better to be in a home environment too, much less stressful.
(I was in a similar situationh to you, dd1 was at nursery for seven weeks before I ditched out. I wasn't happy with the situation so I made a lot of adjustments and Iam at home with my children, but if I had had to go back f/t I would have gone for a nanny every time)

much less stressful for you, too, to be able to leave your baby in bed or in her pyjamas in the morning.

nanny

'interaction' completely overrated IMO until they are about 3+

Nannies are sociable creatures, as a rule, and will want to go out and about with your dd. Sign her up for music/tumble classes etc if you're worried.

A live out nanny will probably know the area, and may already have a network of nanny friends with charges of similar ages.

Live in nanny cheaper than live out.

Are there any childminders in your area? Would a member of the nursery staff be interested in doing the before and after nursery bit?

Have done both and if cost is not an issue would go for the nanny. Lovely not to have to worry about getting your dd out on time in the morning or panic because you get hauled into a last-minute meeting or you get stuck on the train on the way home (having a nanny obviously doesn't mean having childcare on tap 24/7 but if something does go wrong it's nice to know that you dd is at home rather than left in nursery with the member of staff who drew the short straw to stay behind.) Most nannies will want to get out and about to swimming, baby groups etc so your baby will get interaction anyway and you can always specify to nanny that you want her to attend groups, meet up with other nanny friends and their charges etc.

We went the nanny route for two main reasons.
-One to one attention
-In home environment.

All the other benefits a nanny brings are "soft" IMHO but if money is not an issue,it would be a nanny every time.

As for socialisation-WanderingTrolley is right-the last thing a nanny will want is to be stuck inside with only a baby for company all day.

My nanny is out at an activity (be it Tumble Tots,swimming,playgroup,music etc)every day and we encourage her to invite other ppeople with their children over too.

Agree with Enid about interaction and Whoooosh about not wanting to be in all day with a baby.

Most tumble/music/toddler groups exist as a reason for the mums etc to get out of the house rather than play another game of peeka-farking-boo or gaze in astonished fear at the state of the kitchen.

Childminders are a cross between nursery and nanny, in some ways, imo.

Ivw worked in both a nursery setting as a nursery room supervisor, and in a nanny setting as a sole charge nanny.

If money isnt a major issue, go for a nanny.

Thanks to all of you!

My instinct is on a full time nanny with an undersntanding that there will be extra hours at unexpected times as both our jobs are truly madly demanding!

Thanks again!

If money is no object and you both have very demanding jobs, how about a live-out nanny and a live-in aupair? The nanny for childcare; the aupair to clean, do the washing, perhaps do some food shopping, start an evening meal for you and take over for an hour or two if you're working late unexpectedly. Most nannies really don't like unexpectedly late days, particularly if they are live out and need to get back home.

I've never had a nanny, but dd has been at nursery since 6mo and I would agree interaction has only been important for the last few months (she is 2.10 years now).

So if money was no object I would go for a nanny - maybe when your dd is older, the nanny could drop her off at a local nursery for a couple of mornings?

the thing I hate most about nursery is getting us out of the house in the morning - would be so nice to leave dd in her pjs sometimes!

I am biased of course but would go for a nanny if money isn't an option . I've always found it really easy to meet other nannies when i have moved to a new area. On the plus side the nanny can do errands for you, keep the house in order and laundry etc.

It depends on what hours you need as well as some live out nannies won't do as many as a live in nanny will do. But then i'm biased again as i'm looking for a live in job . Good luck.

My DS has had 2 days a week at nursery since he was 11 months, and he seems to have enjoyed it - some interaction with other kids, opportunity to play with different toys, opportunity to do really messy things like foot painting and sandplay and f*ing glittter! Mind you we do go to playgroups as well and do stuff there.
Nurseries are OK. Can't comment on nannies/childminders as have never had one.

If you need full time childcare I'd go for the nany option. For part time childcare I like nurseries.

Ok, nannies outthere... struggling deciding what is a good package for live out/ in nanny?

Could any nannies outthere offer some guidance?

If live in, how much involvement in the family life would you have?

That's the only concern I have got about live in... privacy with my husband.

Many thanks again for your comments to all of you. So very much appreciated!

Personaly when i have finished work i scuttle into my room for the evening or go out. I'm lucky to have my bedroom in the basement so i have lots of privacy. And we only see each other at the weekends in passing and if they have friends over to lunch for example i respect their privacy. You just have to be really open at interview stage and ask the nanny how they envisage things working in that respect. Last week i went for an interview and i was really open about privacy and she seemed relieved we were on the same wavelength.

if you have the space go for a live-in. She won't be in a rush to go home everynight. However you really need to think about whether you would like another person in your house. My last live in position could be quite difficult because my employer (female) resented me been around whereas her husband would often invite me to eat/have a glass of wine with the family. Luckily I knew when I was welcome and when I wasn't. I had a good social life and was away most weekends.

And the dreaded question of £££?

I don't want to go through the agency route as it seems extremely expensive and don't fancy throwing my money away.

Plenty of friends have suggested Gumtree and Simply Childcare.

AS i need the carer to start in September... is it too early to start looking?

thanks a lot!!xx

Money depends on where you are.

Are you in Chelsea?

Yup

Anything from £350 plus for a live-in. There are probably a lot of very highly paid nannies in your area!

Why does it matter the area you are in if the care is the same, if you are in SW3 or N4?

nannies salaries vary so much but it may be worth asking around to see what other people are paying. It would be wise to start looking now as it may take a while to find the right person.

Lovely! Thanks very much to everyone for all your comments! I am deffo looking for a full time nanny now still tbc if in or out!

Decissions, decissions, decissions!

xx