Nursery versus Nanny Dilemma...... please can you share your experiences with me. I am undecided.

[Chelseamum]

Ok, I need help from those of you which has experienced the following situations. Cost is not an issue.

I have a 1 year old daughter with a secure place at a top notch nursery from september.
However I have realised that I won't be able to commute to work, work and commute back on time to fill the 10 hours the nursery will have her. Me and my husband have very demanding careers and long hours are expected.

[1] baby at home with nany living out

or

[2] baby at nursery with aupair living in

My dilemma is as follows. Shall I go for option 1 or 2.

I think that my dd will benefit tremendously interacting with other kiddies her own age and my only worry about the full time nanny is how much interaction she will have with other babies.

Any comments! TIA

Definately start looking now for Sept, i'm looking to start a new job in Sept and have started to go on interviews. Money wise, jobs the agencies are showing me in Chelsea are starting at £350 but you could get someone cheaper i'm sure. It just depends on what your requirements are really. For example i'm 32, British and have about 10 years experience with all ages and have great references but am not qualified. At the moment the agencies are only sending me to interviews where the pay is £400+ net a week. If you phone agencies up they will tell you that you need to pay a higher end salary so it could be worth your while looking on Gumtree .

There is definately a market rate for nannies per area because even in London prices vary. I used to live in north London and the price of a haircut, cinema ticket or manicure varies quite a lot. I live at the moment just off High St Kensington and to get my hair cut and highlighted costs about £200 so i travel back to where i used to live in Finchley and pay £88. Also there are more rich people in your neck of the woods and not a finite amount of good nannies so maybe supply and demand has a hand in it too.

haven't read the thread but for me it would be a no-brainer - option 1 every time. first because, under option 2, I assume you are planning to have the au pair look after dd for short periods of time. I wouldn't be confident in an au pair to rely on that for an under 2 year old - a lot of au pairs really know very little about babies - they might be lovely people but I wouldn;t hand them a one year old unless and until I was confident in some basic skills (like first aid) (and I'm far from being a paranoid parent); second reason is that there's really no need to rush your dd into interaction with other kids - they don;t really interact until a lot older than 1. and if you get a good nanny she will provide plenty of opportunities for interaction and a real variety of activities; third is the sleeping and routine thing and disruption - with a nanny your dd will be able to carry own her routine exactly as it is, in familiar surroundings. why put her in a nursery sleeping room (I've never seen one that convinces me) when she can carry on having her naps at home/out in the fresh air in her pram? why have her try to change her routine to suit nursery carers/other babies when she can carry on doing her own thing? fourth reason is sickness. she can't go to nursery if she's sick. I really really think a nanny is your best option

i relaly ought to read before i post - seems you've pretty much made your mind up!

Agree with Enid - No need to interact till 3+
And I say that , having put ds in nursery from just under a year, so I really do believe that.

You are all stars! Thanks for your opinions and experiences.
xx

You might try nannyjob.co.uk. I cetainly agree with you that agencies cost a fortune and are necessary. There is lots of support available to you here on mumsnet, and I personally think the advice here is much better than one finds at agencies.

It is certainly cheaper to hire a live-in nanny. Regarding how much time she will spend with you on her off time, it just depends on her personality and what "house rules" you establish when she starts. I have a full time live in nanny (and I think my work hours are similar to yours). When I get home, the nanny tends to go to her room or go out. Her day is long and I think we get home she likes to retreat to the comfort of her room.

Regarding salary, I thin kyou will find a huge range. Always talk in term of gross pay. I have had good experience with 20 somethings from commonwealth countries, who can come into this country on a working holiday visa. They can stay for 2 years and work for one.

I think you could get someone for less than £350 per week net (assuming the quote below is for net not gross). But, probably not a lot less. And since your DD is only 1, you probably don't want to cut corners on the level qualifications / experience.

If you want to hire from abroad (which does tend to be a bit cheaper) then you might want to look at greataupair.com, but beware that the site is mostly au pairs who are not qualified to have sole charge of a one year old all day long. But, you can find some more experienced candidates in the mix as well.

Oops... meant to say "...agencies cost a fortune and are not necessary."

And whilst it is blindingly obvious, as it isn't alwasy the norm in the corporate world, never rely just on a written reference - always phone, and if you can't speak to the person then you should be wary. Also if you do speak with them you get so much more information - especially if they are going to be live in when their general demeanour does make a difference.

and to follow up on Ladymuck - ask very specific questions. by all means ask vague ones like "what was she like" - sometimes you get a lot of info from that - but also ask about punctuality, what she cooked, what activities she did, tidiness - whatever you care about. also ask why she no longer works for them and if they would employ her again

Thank you! You are all angels!

I super appreciate your pointers!

also ask about her sickness record - I didn't for my current nanny and am really regretting it. It might not have made any difference and we might just be unlucky but it's incredibly irritating to have to keep dealing with it.

When you get a good nanny agency, they are worth their weight in gold. I used one recently and the woman came out to the house to "interview us". Well, she must have picked up the right vibes because she sent us the perfect candidate straight off!

I do not own a nanny agency by the way!

I second what everyone says here. Our nanny is always out and about meeting other nannies and mums, and as a result, my baby has become very sociable indeed.

Depending on age & experience hiring a live-in Nanny could cost you anywhere between £300-£375pwn, agencies will always ask for a higher salary!

Always talk about your expectations of the nanny for work & free time...You'll find that if you take on a Nanny who has previous live-in experience she'll know what to expect & it should run smoothly.

I almost always retreat to my room as soon as the clock strikes 7o'clock & I'm rarely around on the weekend!...Nobody wants to spend any more time in the office than is required!

Good luck with your search!

But you don't live in Chelsea.

ACtually, I think that living in Chelsea should be an additional perk and not cause to epect a higher slary.... but I'm going to be shot for typing this.

I would rather boil my own head than live in Chelsea.

Isnt it nicknamed Chavskea?

teee-heee