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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

How to help the au pair settle in/bond with my DD

54 replies

bloopitybloop · 04/09/2018 16:33

So I had my new au pair start with us on Friday. She seemed lovelywhen we interviewed her and she has been in touch constantly over the past month.

This week in the lead up to the school starting - my DH and I are taking it in turns to work from home while the au pair and DD settle in. My DD can be shy but in general is very kind and listens to instructions and is very affectionate. But somehow they dont seem to have gelled. I realise it's early days but my DD who is 7 ust seems sad and teary eyed. Today i have had to step in and sperate them twice as teh au pair and she got into a "yes you did", "no you didnt" argument. The au pair sounded like she was 7 as well. :D I totally get kids are tough and my DD can drive me up the wall sometimes. This is our second au pair and with the first one they just hit it off straight away.

I have told DD, she has to listen to the au pair and she is the adult. I have told au pair she is the adult and needs to lay the rules but getting into a you - you argument is futile. This au pair comes with child care experience and has watched kids this age.

So my question is - what are you best tips for me to help them gel? Obviously need them both to be happy for this to work.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Nsbgsyebebdnd · 16/09/2018 20:40

Oh no- poor you not good. Hope you cope for these 9 days- will feel an age but not long now!

bloopitybloop · 16/09/2018 20:43

@Nsbgsyebebdnd she been out to meet two families today and texted me to say one of them has offered her a place. I have very politely told her she doesn’t have to serve two weeks notice at all! Now wishing with bates breath to hear when the. We
Family wants Her to start,

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Nsbgsyebebdnd · 16/09/2018 21:18

I’m suprised the other family don’t want a reference! Our au pair has thankfully really tried hard to tone down the disciplinarian approach and seems to be regaining the trust and love of my kids. Just hope it lasts

bloopitybloop · 16/09/2018 22:17

@Nsbgsyebebdnd am surprised too!

That’s really good news about your AP - as DH said today if the AP had tried even a bit we could have tried for a bit longer.

Oh well onward and upward.

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