What should I expect from my Chilminder?

[judemum]

My DS is 2 and has been going to the same childminder since he was 9 months. She is very good, in that she gives him a lot of love and attention. But I am starting to get worried, as I think he probably watches too much Tv and I don;t think there is any structure to what she does with him. Quite often he is the only child there, either that or its him and another 3 year old. As far as I can gather most of the time they are out shopping with her, or going to the hospital with her (she's not well), or just playing. Am I being OTT and is this fine for a 2/3 year old, or would he be better off at nursery where they have more structured activities?? He does go to playgroup three times a week, so he does have a fair amount of interaction with other kids and he's a pretty outgoing little chap anyway, its more the educational side of things I'm worrying about.

It's a tough one - I'm a registered CM but not currently working (by choice!). The key is the "just playing" - 2 year olds learn an awful lot by playing, and as long as the CM is involved in the games and there is some sort of direction (eg playing shops, talking about things you could buy which could link into concept of money or healthy eating etc., which can be reinforced at the real shops) then I shouldn't worry. I think at 2, playgroup 3 times a week would meet all the social/educational needs and it's important to remember kids do need "downtime" and to learn to entertain themselves to an extent. However, the hospital thing worries me - I can't see how your DS could possibly get much out of that experience and if she's being treated, who's actually minding him? I think you have to trust your instincts - if he's a happy little boy who's developing well and getting lots of love and attention then stick with it. It might be worth visiting some nurseries to see how you feel then.

if you would rTHER HE GO TO HER HOSP APP WITH HER THAN YOU HAVE TO TAKE TIME OFF THEN ID SAY THAT WAS OK(ESP IF YOU know SES UNWELL)..oops sorry caps on!..the best thing to do with children this age IS play, they learn so much through it.personally i would ask for a diary of his day ask what he enjoys doing there, what Did he do 'today' etc..as long as she is playing with him and not leaving him to get on with it, thats ok, but he does need fresh air, stimulation, interaction, so check hes getting all that and if she loveing and caring too you have no probelm

Imo I dont think that you can expect her to play with him constantly as children also need to learn to entertain themselves having said that she shouldnt leave him to get on with it alone all the time. As for watching TV all cm are different my ds has the TV on all day but doesnt watch any of it he just likes the noise so I keep beebies on so I know he doesnt get exposed to unsuitable viewing. If they go out somewhere most days it sounds like she is doing plenty with him although the taking him shopping is that to the supermarket where he can help and find the shopping and learn through that or is it being strapped in a buggy while she tries on clothes?

the shopping is to the supermarket, so probably ok. they do have a great bond, so it is hard and I don't want her to feel like I'm breathing down her neck. I think from what you have all said so far that she's probably doing aas much as can be expected for a 2/3 year old. i just worry when i hear friends who kave kids in nuresry talking about the osrt of things they are doing and I'm thinking, he never does that kind of thing..... and he seems to know an awful lot of the programmes from ceebeebies- I don't mind TV, but in moderation you know?

and the constant trips to the hospital worry me too!

Anytime my c/minder or her children have to go to hosp, I arrange alternative childcare for my ds. I don't like to think she has to take him with her to somewhere like that

I've been "just playing" with my mindee this morning.
We went shoppping, (looking for green apples, yellow banana, orange carrots, red pepper ) we walked back and played a game of "guess what colour the next car will be" we sat down and just played with a set of colour sorting cards (I made these myself) Lo helped decorate a few biscuits with different coloured sweets and icing. (can you guess my theme today?
We went into the garden to feed the birds and check which sunflower was the tallest. WE sat down adn read 3 books then LO asked to watch Cbeebies. We put TV on within 5 minutes Mum turned up and said "oh watching tv again, you'll get sqaure eyes! What you been doing this morning XXX" child "nothing"

Luckily as we do things I take photos to put in his diary!

He thinks he's "just playing" I am older and wiser and know he is learning some very important stuff

yes, you're right, but she's in hospital about 3 times a week. Its usually just for chats with the doctor, as she has some major undiagnosable condition. I would arrange alternatives if it was once in a while, but its practically every week and frankly I would rather put him in a nursery if I had to keep re-arranging things and taking time off work. I just generally feel uncomfortable though with a 2 year old spending so much time at hospital. I know there's nothing she can do about it, but there it is....

MRSW- yes- I think she does do most of those types of things with him, (do you want a job??!) but my problem is how much/often. She doesmn't do diary things like you do and never has and obviously it would upset her if I suddenly started asking for them, but it would be nice to know exaclty what he's done each day. As I said, a bit of TV is fine, but how will I ever know?

Hello there!!!!!!! Saw your name so thought I'd come and see what you were posting about... If you are worried about the tv intake, I'd at least have a look at local nurseries - there's no harm in that, is there and at least you would know what the alternatives are - plus they will supply food as well and save you the chore of cooking for him.

There is no tv at ds's nursery and we get a folder of his "artwork" every couple of months. Lots of play, singing, reading and drawing. Downside is that by the time he comes home, he is knackered and sometimes over-tired. The tv intake is one of the main reasons we are now getting a qualified nanny to look after him when he is at home on Mondays.

PS - I know she's lovely, but I wouldn't be keen on ds having to go to a hospital 3 times a week. That is excessive and it's not a good environment for them to be in - lots of germs. When my mum was in hospital, they told me NOT to bring ds anywhere near it...

CMs are strongly advised to keep some sort of diary - and it will be picked up at her next Ofsted if she isn't doing that. If her Ofsted is due soonish, then problem solved. It is fairly standard for CMs (at least the ones I know) to keep some sort of diary - it helps those of us with poor memories ("Oh yes, we did playdough at least twice last week so maybe not today..." sort of thing) apart from anything else. If you do want to move him, the hospital stuff on its own is good enough grounds, I'd say. Taking a LO regularly to the hospital to discuss your non-specific ailments is not recommended in any childminding literature I've ever read .

I find it quite hard to write diarys to be very honest, i did do it when i first started but i struggled to remember exactly what we'd played with, what he'd eaten/ drank, I could write some down but not everything so they still wouldnt get a clear picture really. I fill in a sheet for babies as I go along but the more children you look after the harder it is to write everything down as that takes up a part of your day when you could be "doing" something else and it's always as you sit down to do it that something happens or they want you for something. I tend to be implusive when we do things and am child led but I do plan things sometimes. Im generally busy getting activities out/ putting them away, joining in with what they are doing, reading stories, getting them all in and out the car, cleaning up the mess, settling them for naps.

I noticed when i was writing everything down that much of it was the same as well. I tend to go by as long as they are progressing and having fun I'm happy with that. They are loved, cuddled and happy.

Just thought - if your childminder goes to the hospital on the same days each week, could you send ds to nursery part-time, ie. for those days, and ask her to look after him on the days when she doesn't have hospital visits?

Hassled - When OFSTED came to see me they never even asked to look at the diary's I kept and the parents weren't interested either as they soon realised much of it was the same also i was repeating myself when chatting to them i prefer a little chat when they can ask things as well, I still got good in all areas of my ofsted report.

I do it with babies because i feel there is benefit to knowing when they were last fed and how much they had etc

I am due to start work next week and have had terrible trouble trying to find a CM. the one that was available would have him on a one to one which I dont want as I want him to interact with other children.

Tomorrow I am seeing a few nurseries and I know that that will be preferable.

I would not be happy about the hosp visits and the supermarket all the time. She prob isnt interacting with him there and is just doing her shopping.

If you are not happy, take him out and put him nursery and tell her that you think he needs more time with other children.

Ermm, well I am a childminder and I would NEVER take a child to do the large weekly supermarket shop with me, nor would I take them to the hospital with me!

Does she do things like painting, cutting / sticking, imagination games (like going on a train ride)

I do a diary every day for all of my children, some days it is only a few words but my parents know what we have been doing

I agree its not good on the hospitals thing. Just trying to weigh up the pros and cons., She does give him good discipline, a lot of attention and love and we do have a chat most days about him. She is genuinely interested in his wellbeing.I suppose when your child is not in a nursery its easy to feel that they're not in the "system" as such and may not be keeping up with their peers on specific things, e.g counting etc. thanks for all your thoughts, especially those from the CM's as its good to know what the norm is.

and Mumpbump, thank you for your valued and helpful support as always. looking forward to seeing you soon.

Me too

MrsWeasley - I so agree with your post about all the "unstructured" activities that you do with a child and all the things that a child learns through that type of play. It can be quite difficult to convey all of it in a written diary though!

judemum - your childminder might be absolutely wonderful and a very caring person, and might be counting aardvarks in the garden or sorting bricks into colours. However, I would be a bit concerned about the hospital trips - how much of the day do they take up, and do they involve just talking to a doctor or physical examinations as well? Is there likely to be an end to it? I used to do a guilt-trip about just taking mindees to a dental check-up with my own children in the summer holidays (I can now go on a Saturday). I suppose that if you are really not happy about it, you either have to take time off work (probably not possible) or consider another CM or nursery.

Again, what kind of shopping is it? We get bread and milk from the local shop, which will include all sorts of added activities for the mindees, but I wouldn't dream of dragging mindees around Sainsbury's trying to persuade them that reading the ingredient list on the back of Mars bars is educational.

I know of childminders who have the TV on all day, do all their normal household activites, and slot the children into their lives and don't really regard what they are doing (caring for children) as the "important" bit, if that makes sense. It doesn't necessarily make them bad CMs, but might not be what every parent wants.

I have to ask, why don't some of you like the cm doing the weekly shop? For a start its a way of teaching the child (depending on age) about the sensory things - different smells you get with fruits and meats/fish, numeracy (counting tins in your trolley, helping choose foods that they like and ones you want them to try, there's a mass of things they can do when they are with you.

I do agree with hospital appts, I did have to take the baby with me to manchester on the bus recently but his parents could not afford time off and had no person to leave him with. It was an eye appt and having baby did help get me out of there quickly!

I do alot with the children, I take them to the park, local indoor playcentre, tots groups and we go to local activities.

i'm a cm and have never been to the supermarket with the children in the 5yrs i have been doing it
shopping can be stressful at the best of times without young children
in fact i dont even go to the supermarket i get it delivered online
have been to local shop to buy fruit or milk and we do go to the charity shop sometimes (on monday we went in to buy jewels) the children like to chose new items to play with
i would rather spend my time at the libray, park, playgroup or playing at home

oh and another bug bear for me is the tv i have one in the playroom but never out it on, my boys are 9 and 10 and only watch tv for a limated time at weekends never on a school day

Mum2Luke - my weekly shop takes way over an hour at the best of times, and that's whizzing around at great speed lobbing stuff in. I hate it, absolutely hate it. Trying to do it with small children in tow would be absolutely unthinkable - it would take most of the day if we had to smell and count stuff as well!

When we walk to the local shop for odd bits and pieces, the preparation for that - "making" a list, letting them carry the basket (and doing the smelling and counting!), encouraging them to count the money and so on, is a relatively major expedition in itself. Sainsbury's would be shut by the time I'd done that with the family shopping.

We've sometimes been to the supermarket specifically to look at, talk about and buy different fruit, for instance, to experiment with (taste, juice, make "potato" prints with etc.) Somehow, buying cat food, washing powder and room fresheners just doesn't sound as inviting.

well i finish work on thursdays and more or less go straight out to late opening supermarket and get my weekly stuff, this and next week i have mindee thur & fri nights, from 6am in morn, the kids need to eat, so i MAy consider next week taking dd and mindee shopping with me before te time and getting dp to pick us up on way home, i dont do it normally but with hours like these, sometime you have no alternative.

I can't say I like doing the weekly shop, I only take the mindees when I have a few things to get, I actually do mine without the kids in an evening or do online shopping.

I have 3 of my own (or is that 4 with my husband!!!) and it costs a fortune, I often find I'm having to go for things like bread and fruit as we run out of them alot.

I try to make it enjoyable for the 4 yr old, he's better behaved when he's helping and tends not to run off if he's amused.

It can be stressfull especially when the child wants the toilet when you are half way around Asda! One of these days I'll open my own creche in the supermarket!!!