How would I know if my 4 month old is happy at the CMs????

[Runninglate]

I know this sounds completely daft but my DD goes to a CM for 3 mornings a week and I have absolutely no idea if she's happy there or not. The CM is rarely dressed and 'together' when I drop her off and I always wonder if I've just woken her up. I guess my worst fear is that my DD is mainly ignored while she's there. She's usually asleep when I collect her and all her milk is gone, which I take to be a good sign. She doesn't cry when I drop her off.....do I assume all is good??

Maximummy - DD is only there for 3 mornings a week (8-1) and rather than feeling guilty about leaving her, I actually think it will do her good to spend time with others etc etc - good for her confidence before she realises that she doesn't have any if you see what I mean?!

Oddly I don't mind the not being dressed thing - I am concerned that they're just not interacting enough with her and leaving her in her buggy / in a corner a lot of the time. The trouble is that I just won't know one way or the other. Both CMs are on the contract, though its the daughter who is her official CM and the mum (50s) is always dressed and ready and seems to be the actual one looking after my DD most of the time.

Do you think it would cause offence to ask them to take photos - I do like that idea!

this is setting alarm bells ringing for me tbh.

The not being dressed is very unprofessional. The not being dressed at 2pm is disgraceful!

do they go out?? and looking after that many children it sounds a bit manic to me, as though they are all just running wild. Do they have a big house?

I don't like the sound of their set up and I think you could be right about her being left in her buggy infront of the TV.

Sorry - but I think you should get rid.

Perhaps you could collect or drop her off at a totally different time. My DS is a lot older but when I have book him into any childcare/playscheme I have always turned up at different times just for my own peace of mind. I've never had any reason to think he wasn't happy though - just me being cautious. I think you should go with your gut instinct.

I think not being dressed at 2.00pm is awful. Also if I have got this right she was having a pamper day, whilst looking after dd. How?

I'm couldn't have a pamper day whilst I was at work, it just couldn't happen God Forbid (I'm a teacher btw, so you can imagine...,)so why could she?

Also I had a childminder once, who I used to have to knock up in the mornings (she always overslept) and I wasn't very happy. I was even less happy when I found out ds who should have been sleeping in his cot was in fact sleeping in a buggy.

Trust your instincts. It sounds very haphazard and unproffesional to me

oh i assumed it was the mum who looked after your dd and the daughter was having a pamper day cos it was her day off. in that that is disgraceful that she was having a pamper day.

You're right - this is all really helpful advice. I'll do some spot checks over the next couple of minding days and have a chat with them next week too. On the face of it the set up is quite good - the 3rd bedroom (it's a flat) has been converted in to a playroom, with the walls painted with pictures of animals etc etc - a brightly coloured room - quite funky. When I went for my initial look around - the older kids were really keen to show it off to me and had that proud look that kids have when showing you their bedrooms (not that this was their bedroom!). The place is also spotless and I did a spot visit 'to collect references' before agreeing to send DD there and the place was still spotless with the windows cracked to let fresh air in. I desperately want it to work!!

I'm not sure about it being spotless either tbh. With 5 children being cared for in a flat, should it be spotless?

I childmind from my flat (2 bedroom) and have two children of my own plus my minded baby and my place is not spotless as I am far too busy caring for the children.

Do they go out at all?

Well that's it - they say they go to parks, to the local farm etc etc etc but unless I hover outside, I'll never know for sure. They do have 2 double buggies (!). Worse case scenario is that they don't leave the flat - as she's only there for 3 mornings a week, this is not the end of the world as I am out alot with her.

On a positive note, I was there at snack time and the mum brought a bowl of chopped up fruit 'n' stuff and the kids came and automatically sat down around her and then continued sitting until they'd had their snack.

were we in email contact a while ago? If so, if you want to cat me the details, I can have an ask around for you or see if I know them, if it helps??

Yes we were! Although I seem to be everso happy to ask a million people on MN about the siutuation, it somehow seems sneaky to ask you to ask around on my behalf!! I couldn't possibly!!

ok, I understand.

You know where I am if you change your mind

quiet mouse what floor is your flat on if you don't mind my asking?

ground

do you have a garden?

a very small front garden. I can't really use it though as it's quite public.

Are you in a flat? If so, it shouldn't make a difference to you childminding as long as you go out each day.

asking for a friend. but it is a 2nd floor flat.

running late what floor flat is your cms?

Mine is ground floor with no garden but very close local park. It wouldn't bother me if it was a 2nd floor flat if that's any help??

thanks